Happy Halloween

Weigh In: 275.5
Calories Counted: Around 1900

I did pretty damn well today. Huge party at work for the holidays, and I didn't have a single crack in my armor. They treated everything, and I made sure to grab a plate - full of broccoli and carrot sticks ONLY. Small step, accomplished.

I also did a 2 mile (nonstop) run that I reported in this morning. Small step, accomplished.

Ironically, beer gave me a victory tonight as well. I was passing out candy and I started REALLY craving the Butterfingers, Snickers and Crunch Bars. Instead, I grabbed a Bud Light because it's 110 calories only, and I knew that if I had beer taste in my mouth, I wouldn't crave chocolate. I'll be damned if that didn't work. Small step, accomplished.

I'm learning not to expect anything. I just have to string good decisions together. There's three right in a row.

Also, I'm tentatively setting up a "FAT Coalition" website - a basic small thing that we can use to keep track of everyone who is involved, and a few notes about each person. It's very new and very undone, but this will give you an idea. Just head over to http://www.fatcoalition.zoomshare.com/ and see what you think.

Final Weigh In - Tuck's Big Challenge October

Happy Halloween, everyone.

Last weigh in for October. I may take November off from hosting challenges, so if anyone wants to do it, go for it.

Also, if you haven't yet - check out last night's blog.

One

Weigh In: Already reported
Calories Counted: 1346

Breakfast: GoLean Crunch cereal and milk
Lunch: Tuna fish out of the packet, dry. Also, can of Campbell's Italian Wedding Soup
Dinner: Erin's homemade turkey meatballs w/ tomato sauce, light salad.

Exercise: 30 minutes on the Elliptical.

I couldn't get my body going this morning. 30 minutes on the Elliptical was tough today. As I said on someone's blog today, I felt like I had concrete in my shoes and oatmeal in my veins. But, I did it - I got out of bed, hit the gym before work, and did what I had to do. You can tell by the eating that I mean business - at least for today.

Good eating? Check. Getting some exercise? Check.

That's all I can do. Results should follow, even if it isn't the next day.

Edit: Wednesday morning, 7:34am. Just got done with a 2 mile run, NONSTOP. I didn't time it, the focus was distance without stopping, not the time this time around.

Also, Happy Halloween. To those of you who are in an office setting, be strong today when the treats come out. We're having an entire buffet hosted by the office managers, and I'm going to show myself that I can keep my hands out of the tricks and treats. Day Two is on.

Starting Over, Again

Weigh In: 279

Yeah, saw that coming. Completely sucks, but I expected it.

Over the past few months, I've done a lot of 'talking' about what I'm going to do. A bunch of motivational crap that sounds good on paper, but didn't translate.

The bottom line is, I'm back to where I was back in July, and it's no one's fault but my own. Right now, I'm tired of talking about it, and I don't have any motivational "rah rah" stuff in me. I can only go back to where I was, and do it again.

So, ironically, today I have lost an official '100 pounds'. Sounds familiar, eh?

I hit the gym this morning, and had a measured out cup of Kashi cereal this morning along with a 1/2 cup of milk - that puts me at 250 calories for the day. I'm starving right now, and I've got a tuna packet and a can of soup waiting for me. Other than that, that's it until dinner. Time to get used to being hungry again, it's the only way this is going to work for me.

I'll try to get to everyone's blogs here soon, but I'm at work for the first time in a week, so I've got some catching up to do. Catch you all soon.

One Day From Reality

Weigh In: Still no scale, still in OKC until tonight

I've got a few minutes, so I thought I'd check in. Still didn't have the online access that I thought I would, and this weekend has been crazy nuts. I've had a ton of fun, but I've got a feeling that the scale is going to be the great equalizer tomorrow.

I'm going to gain weight. There's no debate there - it's just going to be a matter of how much. I did my 3.5-4 mile walks most mornings, and we danced the night away at the wedding, but the eating was 'below average' and the drinking was.. well, yeah. Let's just say I'll have an easy time losing some of the water weight.

I think that once I get over the fact that the scale is going to say whatever the scale is going to say, I'm going to be OK though. With everything that has gone on these past few months, my 'healthy lifestyle' has taken a back seat. My crazy school schedule, work pressures, the build up for the wedding - you name it, it's taken up time and energy. I'm sure everyone reading this understands the feeling of building pressure and the toll it takes on your body.

I've had a great time in OKC this week. We met some awesome people, we went to some amazing places (one of which was the OKC Bombing Memorial - brought you to tears), and got to see my buddy get married. I did the toast at the wedding as well, so it was a special honor for me.

That being said, I desperately needed a break from 'real life'. The last 5 days have been in a vacuum - something you don't usually experience. I got away from work, school, bosses, deadlines, tests, grades - all of that (I did fairly well on both tests by the way).

So I'm ready to get home. I've missed the hell out of my wife, and we've been talking all weekend (look out phone bill). I'm recharged, and ready to really barrel through this process again. I'm actually looking forward to being able to prepare my own meals and get to my gym again. It was a major struggle before I left, but now I feel like I'm ready to return to my regularly scheduled program.

I get home tonight around 8:30pm, and then the hard part comes. Tomorrow morning's weigh in.

Alive

Weigh In: No clue, no scale.

I've got to make this quick. I was hoping to be posting a lot more than I have been, but I don't have the online access that I thought I would. So, short and sweet.

Eating hasn't been what I've wanted it to be, but it could have certainly been worse. I've had a few chocolate bites, I've had Sonic for lunch, and I've had more beer than I'm going to admit, but I've made some good choices too. There were pies and cakes last night, and I skipped it. I had pumpkin seeds. We went out for lunch, and I got the chicken wrap with no fries when everyone else was getting the double heart attack burgers with a side of french stroke fries. So, I'm trying.

It's been really tough though, I thought I'd be in a better position with some of these decisions, but sometimes, like last night at the rehearsal dinner at the parent-in-law's house, there weren't good choices available. There was turkey (although cooked in butter), so that was the least of the bad choices. So, I made the decision to have smaller portions. I still ate - but in the past I would have really ate - like multiple plates of everything. Didn't do that - just had the one plate and did good.

Of course, I followed it up with a few beers, so you know how that goes.

I have been doing my walking though. Every day but one I've been up earlier than everyone else (like 7am to their 9:30am) and I have walked 3.5 to 4.5 miles. Small steps, right?

I am looking forward to getting back into the groove though. I think these few days off are exactly what I needed to get out of the stress pot and back into focus. I'll try to post again tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I'll have access. I'm coming home Monday - and I look forward to catching up on all of your blogs (and the challenge).

Until then!

Weigh In

Sorry - in OKC. Post em!

Snapped

This past week has been insane. I've documented it, I've talked about it - and yes, I've whined about it.

Tomorrow, I wake up and head to my last midterm - this hellish Music History exam - at 8:30am, and then it's off to the airport for my 12pm flight. Nonstop. But, once I get in the air, it'll be a more relaxed, less responsibility week. Most importantly - it's completely non-structured, which means it's going to have to be even MORE important to really be good about the workout and diet thing. I brought my jump rope, my mp3 player and a stopwatch to time runs. You've got to do what you've got to do.

That being said, you'll notice the Streak was snapped tonight. After all this going on this week - Erin and I were able to go out to dinner and have a few drinks. There were good choices to be made, but honest, I really didn't care. I didn't feel like justifying eating right and healthy and picking the 'best possible thing on the menu' - I chose what looked good. Now, I could have been MUCH worse (bar food, remember), but I had a specialty sandwich that was made on some pretzel roll, packed with meat (no cheese on it I think), and it came with a side of steak fries. I also had two pints of beer - not light beer, but quality beer.

So, cheat meal. A cap to the end of an insane time period. I'm looking forward to a fun week in Oklahoma, but if I'm being honest, I'm kind of bumming. (Ok, guys turn your head and don't look for a few seconds). This is going to be the first time in the 7, almost 8 years, that I've known my wife that we're going to be apart for a whole week. It's kind of weird, and I know I'm going to miss her a ton. Especially at a wedding.

That being said, she's probably sitting back looking forward to the week without my driving her up a wall - but she's a source of inspiration for me, and without that, I have to draw on myself to be solid with my diet and exercise this week. It sounds lame, and I know it's possible that I'll temporarily lose my "man card", but I'm not a big fan of being away from her for a long period of time.

So, I start the streak over.

Interestingly enough, you guys have been telling me to do some more walking/running and stay off the scale every day - so the scale isn't coming with me. I'm interested to see how I do this week without all of my 'tools'.

I'll be updating throughout the week, but chances are my comments won't be as many this week. Doesn't mean I'm not still thinking about you all. Stay strong.

I'd Like To Thank The Academy

I thought this was pretty cool and thought you guys might like to see this.

http://media.freep.com/2006Emmy/index.html

Basically, I work for the Detroit Free Press and we won an Emmy (not me, but my company, I had nothing to do with it) for the "Band of Brothers" documentary that we did online.

So, they brought the Emmy around to our meetings, and look who got to pose with it. So, thanks Academy - I'd like to thank my mom, my wife - and God.. oh, and of course, the FAT Coalition...

Treading Water

Weigh In: 276 (what the hell)

(click on the comic to read it better - some of you will appreciate this)

A few quick points today - first off, I don't understand the weigh in. Now granted, I weighed in ass early this morning, much earlier than I normally do, so that might be part of it, but what the hell. 276 ain't what I was hoping to see today. Oh well, nothing you can do but keep moving, right?

Second off - with these two tests, work going crazy, and flying out on Wednesday, I feel like I don't have "time" to focus on my health lately. OF COURSE, that's just an excuse, but I feel like I'm treading water when I should be paddling as hard as I can. I mean, I'm not cheating - I'm doing "fine" with my eating, keeping in my calorie range, but I haven't put in the good workouts. Just been pretty stagnant with the exercise. It's all I can do to keep my head above water right now, and I feel the struggle between all my responsibilities right now - I just don't feel "in" it.

That being said, I do have a few hours tonight that will be delegated for hitting the gym and spending a few good hours studying for this History exam on Wednesday - piano went "OK" - not great, but I think I passed, so that's a bonus.

I think the bottom line is that I need to just 'do it' - I wish I could be stress free and hitting the gym on a regular pattern right now, but the reality is, it's not happening. I'll be in there tonight, and I'm actually looking forward to it - I just wish I could do more. But then again, don't we all.

Also - my buddy Shonakee is starting a blog. Cheer him on as well and give him some support like we do for all our members. Welcome aboard, Shonakee.

Short and Sweet

Weigh In: 274

Not really much to say today - not really inspired.

I did try that Kashi "GoLean" Crunch cereal today, that's pretty dang good. A bit expensive but we found a 2 for $6, so you can't really beat that. I've had this thing for cereal forever, I'm not really quite sure why, but this is real high in fiber and it fills me up (gee, cause and effect maybe?), so I may be using this as my breakfast for a while.

Other than that, not much to report. Coming in at 274 today with 11 days until Halloween kind of makes me think that my 264 goal by then is a fat chance in hell, but you don't stop until the clock hits zero, right? Also, I fly to OKC on Wednesday morning, so I'm going to have to do the legwork down there as well.

Boring blog tonight, I know. I've been so focused on this Piano exam (tomorrow morning) and the History test (Wednesday morning) that once I get out from underneath this rock, I'll be alright. Until then, if I had hair, I'd be pulling it out.

Chillin' with the Rich & Famous

I've been a blog machine this weekend, but it's been a pretty thought provoking few days for me.

So tonight, I got to feel what it would be like to be loaded. For Chuck's 80's birthday surprise, we were treated to a Yacht ride for 4 hours complete with dinner and the likes as we floated down the Detroit River in the 3-story boat - it was insane.

I was faced with a paid open bar (with top shelf liquor), unlimited foods and desserts all over the damned place. Knowing what I've been going through, I can say that I did pretty well tonight. I had the steak (unbelievably delicous) and the chicken along with this potato thing which was incredible. The potato had two choices of sauce - a creamy cheese sauce or some tomato based sauce. I chose the tomato based, as good as the other one looked.

Also, about the open bar - I did a Grey Goose and Diet Coke, I split a White Russian with Erin, and then I spent the rest of the night on Diet Coke and water.

For dessert - they had this marble cake for Chuck's birthday. Completely skipped that one.

So I did what I had to do today.

Also - my legs are KILLING me today - the hamstrings, hips, everything that is related to a post-Josh The Destroyer workout. It's the 'good' killing though, it means I've been pushed to the limit. Bend, but don't break.

I'm going to be starting a secondary workout route that is going to be above and beyond my regular workout regime. I've been looking at "Couch Potato to 5k" workouts and checking out a few 'plans', and I'll be starting this soon. Stay tuned on that.

Ok, bed time. It's past midnight and I have to be at the church at 7:50am tomorrow.

New Goals?

Weigh In: 273.5
Calories Counted: 0 (but then again, it's 8am)

It's no secret that I've been taking a close look lately at how I do things, and what's effecting me. Last night's blog was based on a comment that Marcol had pointed out to me, something that I've taken a lot of time to think about. Today's blog is about another comment that was made, this time by Jay. Others have said this to me, but for some reason, this one caught me. Jay said:

"It might make sense to change your focus a bit. I've noticed that you have had a major focus on scale weight. What other goals do you have for your body besides losing weight?

You've lost 100 lbs, you should be able to do a whole bunch of stuff you weren't able to do before, or are very close to some athletic feats you haven't been able to achieve for a long time. What are those things you've always wanted to do with your body but aren't doing?

If you were training for a boxing match, or trying to run an 8 minute mile, you might start to see food as a fuel rather than something that only helps/hinders your weight loss."

That makes a lot of sense to me - but now the question is, what are my goals other than the ones that revolve around the scale?

I guess I've never thought of it. I mean - I was always good at sports. I never excelled at anything, but I was the guy who was a 'jack of all trades' - not a star at any sport, but I could hold my own no matter what it was. A generalist, if you will.

I play organized volleyball on Tuesdays and I'm in a softball league during the summer - but what other things could I do that I haven't thought of? I'd love to get into boxing, but I'm way too much of a wimp to do that. Glass Joe, right here.

The first thing that comes to mind is either running or walking. I'm planning on doing the Turkey Trot again this Thanksgiving - and this is something is very important to me. Last Thanksgiving was Day 1 of my transformation - and I can't believe that's a few weeks from being a year ago. I've been sorting it out in my mind as I write this blog out (which explains the rambled thoughts), and I think that's what I'm going to do.

From now until Thanksgiving, I'm going to move from weight loss goals to running goals. My goal this year is to run the 5k all the way through without stopping. And if I'm being honest, that's probably way too much of a goal to think of in the next few weeks - the last 5k I ran, I got to the mile point and had to walk.

It's strange how you can sit down at your computer with a plan to write about 'thinking about goals', and by the time you're at the end of the post, you've got a plan.

There's something to be said for putting your thoughts on (virtual) paper, eh?

Dealing In Reality

Weigh In: Already reported
Calories Counted: 1899

A few things to note tonight.

First off - I appreciate the comments that I'm getting. I'm taking it all to heart.

I guess the reason I'm being so hard on myself is because I know I can do better. I feel myself taking shortcuts that I wouldn't have done in the past. Almost a year into this, I've learned more about myself - my strengths, and more importantly, my weaknesses, than I thought.

Before this whole thing started, I never finished anything that I started. I'd have this great idea, go balls out for a few weeks with amazing success, and then I'd just get bored and move onto something else. I did this with weight loss my entire life. Eat good, get bored, eat everything. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I guess the reason I'm constantly putting myself out there is because I know this group is my accountability. I know that some of you are going to cheer me on no matter what, and I know some of you are going to call me out on it. It's what keeps me going.

Marcol hit on something in the last set of comments two days ago that really kind of hit me, and I'm wondering if she's onto something. I've been talking about addictions to food, and how I feel like I lose control sometimes. I mean - just tonight, Erin and I had our healthy dinner - and what did I do? I went and had a bowl of cereal afterwards. Why? No clue. I just was thinking about it, and I did it. I just went and ate again. I don't understand why. Then, once in a while, when I'm home alone, I tear the door off of the fridge and eat everything in the house. Why? Because it's there? I get this feeling in me where I get this uncontrollable need.. it's not even an urge - to just eat until I physically hurt.

This is something that used to be a daily occurrence with me years ago. I've dealt with this for years - it's how I got to be almost 400 pounds in the first place. I always chalked it up to a lack of self control and left it at that. But lately, I feel it coming back. I've been good about it - and even when it's uncontrollable, I find myself forcing myself towards the 'healthy' stuff - so even if I *DO* binge, it's something healthy. But I can't always do that - and that's when trouble starts.

That's what kills me. I think I said this before - but I've always looked as addiction as a controllable weakness. Want to quit smoking? Fine - shut up and just don't light up the next one you think about. Addicted to food? Whatever - just shut your mouth and walk away from the fridge. The fact that I couldn't do that in the past - and even sometimes now, is lazy talking, it's not 'addiction'. That's how I viewed addiction.

But maybe there's something to what Marcol said. Maybe I should seriously think about this more than I have. I mean - what happens if she's on the money, I lose all this weight, and then the next round of binges hit me? I'll gain it all back quicker than I could lose it.

This is a lifestyle change. I've said this a few times (try a hundred) in the past year - it's a shift in eating habits, lifestyle, how I carry myself and how I feel about myself. Billy and I were talking and we were saying how when we first started this, we just assumed that when the weight was gone, the associated problems would just disappear.

They don't.

They fester and hide and they grow until they get out of control unless you spend some of your time focusing on them. Maybe I need to look at this further. Maybe it's more psychological than I'm giving myself credit for. This is something I'm going to seriously have to consider as time goes on.

And most importantly - I'm not putting this out there for sympathy, pity or even pats on the back. If this addiction is something that is controlling me, then maybe it's controlling someone else. And if there's any way to beat something, it's to expose it, and go for the soft spot. Putting this out there - I just thought I should.

Oh - and I met with Josh the Destroyer today. For those of you who are relatively new (last few months), Josh is the guy I met at Bally's when I trained there. Josh was the first trainer that was able to relate to me and really get me in the right direction. If it wasn't for this cat, I would still be almost 400 pounds feeling sorry for myself. He busted my tail in a workout today and I'm sore in places I forgot I had. Working with this guy motivates the hell out of me - makes me take a closer look at the WHOLE picture - which perhaps is why this blog has turned into what it has. I didn't sit down in front of my computer thinking I was going to write about food addictions the way I did.

But things happen - and if it's on your mind - where else should you put it but on your weight loss blog?

Gut Check Time

Weigh In: 275.00

This is going to be short and sweet. I've done this a hundred times, and I've said it a hundred and one. This time, perhaps I'll mean it.

I've had this beautiful design at the top of my page declaring this "The Way" for a while - and Billy did a great job of putting it together.

But I've replaced it with a basic paint job - the new title shows what I need to do.

I've been settling. I've been showing weaknesses. I've had more excuses than the Bush administration.

That stops now - time to put the money where the mouth is. I see guys like Jay, Rip and Brian just doing great - guys that are my size. I've been told that I'm an inspiration for a lot of people - yet, if they've watched me the past few months hovering around the same weight, justifying and giving excuses, that's not much of a role model. I look at Brian's page and see that two months ago - he and I weighed the same. Today, he comes in TWENTY POUNDS less than me.

And why?

Because he doesn't make excuses, succumb to weakness and he doesn't settle for average when he deserves the best.

I have.

And that stops today.

Habits

Weigh In: 273.5
Calories Counted: Pending

I talked to Gary tonight, it looks like I'm going to get my workout partner back. That's great news for both of us, because we were talking today and it seems like we're both settlings for "Good" workouts when we know we can have "Amazing" workouts. We're going to start back up on Monday, so that'll work out well for both of us.

I've been thinking today about how stress affects how I eat, what I eat, and what cravings I have. I've been having major fat cravings lately, and I've been trying to fight them off. A lot of people, when faced with stress, love chocolate - at least that's the stereotype. Me? I crave cheeseburgers and mexican food. I know that's a strange combination, but that's all I could think about today. I drove by a McDonalds, and for the first time in a long time, I had to keep both hands on the wheel or my car would have turned automatically in the parking lot.

I have slowly been able to identify my triggers - the things that made me binge in the past. Those four double cheeseburgers, those bags full of Taco Bell at 3am. I've identified stress as one of those things - but also reward. I've always busted my ass with my life's responsibilities - including healthy eating - and then when I finally think I'm getting a leg up, I 'rewarded' myself with the large pizza.

Now, I'm fighting both of them - I feel pretty good about how work is going, I've been doing pretty well in the commission department and my boss has been pretty happy with the business I've been bringing to the company. On the flip side, as I said yesterday with the wedding coming up, the flight, the midterms, you name it - I'm stressing out crazy.

Two triggers fighting my one cause.

As I sit here typing this, Erin's making a super healthy dinner for me. And all I can think about is that McDonalds. Hell, it's going to be on my plate in 10 minutes. And yet all I think about is the Cheese Quesadilla at Taco Bell.

After a year, I'm still fighting a food addiction. I think that some people (including me in the past) have viewed food addictions as an excuse for 'lazy people to justify their poor habits'. I attributed smokers and people who do drugs to the same thing. Addiction.. "just get over it", I've said.

Maybe I am just a lazy person looking to justify my desire for the food - blaming it on an addiction. But maybe there's something to it.

Either way - no one is forcing me to eat the crappy food - and today was one of those days where it was all I could think about.

But I won that battle today. I really don't have any other choice though, do I?

T-Minus 7 And Counting

Weigh In: 272.0
Five Day Average: 272.25
Calories: 2164

It seems like the cat's got my tongue lately. I sit here with really not much to say. I'm working hard, I'm eating right, and I'm doing what I can do. I didn't work out today, but everyone keeps telling me that I need to take a break once in a while (as opposed to working out 7 days a week), so that's what I'm doing. I didn't hit the gym yesterday either, but I played 2 hours straight of volleyball and ended up in a pool of my own sweat, so it counted as a cardio workout to me.

It's been crazy busy lately - between teaching music lessons, work deadlines, school really pushing me to the brink.. mentally it's been a struggle. For example - I've had my buddy's wedding planned and airline tickets bought for a few months - before classes started this semester. In typical "Tucker Luck" fashion, two midterms were scheduled for the 4 day window that I would be out of town, so I've had to bend over backwards in order to take these tests early - which means on Wednesday morning at 8:30, I'm taking a MAJOR exam - and then I'm flying to OKC by 12pm that day. Fun!

Speaking of which - the flight to OKC is a week from today. That means I've got a week. A week to get all this crazy crap dealt with - and a week to really push my scale down to where I want to be. When I'm in OKC, it's going to be a struggle to keep the weight going down. A wedding, having all my friends together, and I'll be a few thousand miles away from my comfort level. I'm already looking for a gym out there, and if there's no gym, I'll be putting some miles on my running shoes. If I'm going to hit 264 (8 pounds) by October 31, I have to put it out there and take it.

One step at a time - seems to be the FAT Coalition motto lately.

PS: You all around? Blogs have been pretty quiet lately.

Tuck's Big Challenge Weigh In

I'll be blogging later today, but I wanted to put this reminder out there.

Make sure to go to http://tucksbigchallenge.blogspot.com and post your weigh in for today. Thanks, and good luck!

Nothing New

Weigh In: 273.00 (yikes)
Five Day Average: 271.3 (same)

Not really much to report today.

The weight went up yesterday as expected after the fondue meal, but I guess I wasn't expecting it to go up again today. And then (and Billy's going to cringe at this), I stepped on the scale just now and it read 278.5. For those that don't know, I step on the scale about 4-6 (hundred) times a day - I can usually tell the ebbs and flows of my day on the scale. I know - I shouldn't do it - but I do, and I'm ok with it.

That being said, I usually drop 2-3 pounds between 10pm and 6:30isham, so that's going to stick me with another weight gain if it happens. I did well with my meals today too, so it confuses the hell out of me, but I'm not going to be concerned about it until it happens. And if it does, I'll be pissed. But, I'll get over it, and keep working as normal. Again - the whole working out and eating right thing's a pretty successful method, so that's what I'm going to stick with, regardless of what the scale says.

Part of me thinks that I'm developing more muscle lately - the arms feel stronger, the lower back and legs are feeling bigger - so that might be part of the weight gain lately. Then again, that can be a big fat lie that I'm telling myself to feel better about it too, so yeah - let's not focus too much on it.

So we'll see - I'm amazingly calm after seeing the 278.5 tonight. I don't know if it's because I've seen this a million times and I know the patterns I fall into or what, but I've got the "I really want it, but if it doesn't happen tomorrow, it'll happen eventually".

All I know is that I'm busting humps trying to lose this weight, and it'll get done - tomorrow or next week or next month.

I just prefer tomorrow, thank you.

1000 Calorie Salads

Weigh In: 272.5 F
ive Day Average: 271.3 (new low!)
Calories Counted: 2095

Salads are healthy, right?

So we went to Chili's tonight to meet my sister's new boyfriend. He's a nice guy - friendly, respectful, you name it. Which means I don't have to beat him down this week - lucky for him. We were at Chili's and I was in the mood for the salad. So, I chose the Mesquite Chicken Salad. It was the grilled chicken as opposed to the fried, so it was the better choice. I didn't check the calorie count before we left the house because I wasn't home when we decided where we were going, so I just estimated it to be 600-700 calories to be safe, and went with it.

I just got home and checked - and this salad has 1050 calories. Holy crap.

I guess the good (or, "less bad") part about it is that I had only taken in about 1000 calories the entire day prior, so I'm sitting just a hair over 2000 for the day, so I'm in the clear. I would have PREFERRED to be around 1600 for the day, considering my eating yesterday, but it could have been much worse. There's a lesson in this:

Just because it's got lettuce and they call it a salad doesn't mean it's healthy for you.

Also, it was strange today. All day I was feeling the effects of that fondue meal. When I got to the gym this morning, I just felt weak. For example, part of my training is my Dumbbell Incline Presses. I usually use two 55 pound dumbbells for my sets of 10 or 12 - I got on the bench with the 55's today, and I literally couldn't raise them from the start position. It was as if I had NO strength. I had to drop to the 40's to finish the workout. My pushups were hell, I had no strength at all. It's as if Kryptonite was injected into the fondue last night.

When I got out of the gym, I felt lightheaded and weak. For hours, I just drug ass. I don't know what it was, but I felt like I was running on fumes all day. I'm wondering if that could be related to eating all those fattening oils last night, or if it was just 'one of those days'. Either way, I got a good workout in - just with a lot less weight on the reps. Strange.

So I've got 18 days to hit my first goal of 264 pounds. I went up to the 272.5 today, but I've seen as low as 270.5, so I know I can hit the goal if I work hard and be great on the diet like I was last week. It's no coincidence that my best weight loss results happen during the 11 day clean-eating streak. I've got 11 days (from last night) until the day I leave for Oklahoma and 18 until the end of the month, so that means I need to drop 8.5 pounds in that time frame.

Tough? Sure.

Attainable?

Damn right.

Planned Chaos

Weigh In: 270.25
Five Day Average: 271.8 (new low!)
Calories Counted: No clue - maybe 2800 to 3000?

So the streak ends at 11 days. A new one begins in the morning. Technically as I write this, it's 11 days, 23 hours and 26 minutes - almost a half hour short of 12 days, but it is what it is.

I don't feel too bad about the streak being broken today. In fact, I was debating up until the last minute if it was broken or not. It was a planned thing, and I made all the right decisions leading up until the dinner that broke the streak, so I don't feel like it's all that bad. When I usually think of those bad meals that cause a streak to break - it's that loss of control feeling where I eat everything I can find and generally binge. It didn't go down like that this time.

Basically, I had about 750 calories going into dinner - I knew it was coming, so I thought I'd minimize the damage, which I think I did pretty well. But then came dinner.

We went to this fancy place called the "Fondue Room". Now, I've never had fondue. Didn't know what it is. I was just told by my brother months back that it was his favorite restaurant and it was the best food he's ever had. And for him, that's one hell of a recommendation. So, because tonight was a special occasion for Erin and I (early Sweetest Day - but long boring story behind that one), we decided to check this place out.

I checked out the menu briefly, more of a browse than anything. Chicken, shrimp, you name it, it was on there. And not knowing what Fondue was, I figured I could be safe. I figured that going out to a restaurant that wasn't in the "Calorie Count" Restaurant finder and not being able to know how many calories were in my meal before getting to the place was going to lead to higher caloric intake - so that's why I prepped with LOW cals for the rest of the day.

Once we got there though - it was clear that there was no 'healthy option'.

For those of you who don't know what fondue is, Wikipedia defines it as "several Swiss communal dishes shared at the table in an earthenware pot ("caquelon") over a small burner ("rechaud"). The term "fondue" comes from the French "fondre" ("to melt"), referring to the fact that the contents of the pot are kept in a liquid state so that diners can use forks to dip morsels of food (such as bread) into the sauce"

What it should be defined as is, "health, raw lean meats and vegetables dipped and soaked in fattening oils and eaten".

I can't lie - it was delicious. My brother was right - a great meal (for the low low cost of $80 after tip for two of us - ouch). And even though I made all the right decisions leading in, and this wasn't a matter of binging or losing control, I can't in good conscience leave the streak intake based on the calories consumed.

I'll take my lumps on the scale tomorrow and not feel bad about it. I've already got tomorrow's meals planned out (eggs for breakfast, salad with tuna and beans for lunch, healthy dinner), and I'll just rebound as good as I can. Plus, the fifth day of my Turbulence Training routine that is flat out kicking my ass. More on that later.

So, keep on fighting Weekend Warriors. I may have gotten an arrow shot through my armor, but I am pulling it out and forging on. It's the best we can do, right?

Skinny Chicken or Fat Egg?

Weigh In: 270.25 (new low!)
Five Day Average: 272.85 (new low!)
Calories Counted: 1586 (I think?)

So yeah - Salad Day went great at work. I brought in a 3 bean blend (garbanzo, kidney and black beans) , tuna and beets, and we had some pretty solid salads. Different healthy dressings, chicken strips, bunches of veggies - I was pretty impressed. A victory for the workplace.

In other news, I've been trying to figure out this point in my transformation, and I think that I've been feeling "lost" lately and I've been trying to figure out why. I think that I've moved away from being the "fat" fat guy, and over the past year I've moved towards the "skinny" fat guy. Like, the small fish in the big pond, weight wise.

Now, I feel like I'm the big fish in the small pond - the fattest "skinny" guy out there. It's kind of hard to explain, so I'll just give it a try and see what happens.

For the longest time when I was over 300 and beyond, I looked at myself as this guy who was overweight and really didn't know what it was to have fitness goals. I had the 'fat guy' lifestyle. I was the fat guy, and I was content with it. I didn't care about my weight - and I knew I was out of control but I felt like there was no way to get it back.

As time moved on, I gained steam. Somewhere along the line - and I'm not sure where - I crossed a major milestone. Part of me thinks it was when I got into the 200's, but I'm not sure. At some point, I started caring about my body in terms of looks. My original goal at the begnning was to 'lose enough weight to not die when I was 35". Seriously, that's all I wanted. I picked "100 pounds" back in November (which would be 250) and thought that if I got down to that, my problems would be over. Never ONCE did I think I could actually achieve that.

Anyway, back to where I was gaining steam.

Today I wore my new size 40 jeans (used to be 48s) and this XL t-shirt with these tight ass sleeves. This is the picture above. And perhaps this isn't the most modest thing I've ever said - but I really like this shirt - it shows off the guns big time. I felt proud in it. But, I also was insecure as hell, because as an XL, it isn't as forgiving in the gut - where I really know I need a ton of work.

The point is, I started looking at myself like someone who needs to make SPECIFIC improvements to be happy with my looks. Not just happy that I'm losing weight - but happy with my body and how it looks. Big biceps, built lats and shoulders and a strong chest. Bulging triceps, calves of steel, tight abs. I've NEVER, EVER thought about these things until recently.

But I'm thinking about that now. These are some of the things that are evolving in me.

So that's where I consider myself a 'skinny' person who is on the extreme fat edge. As I said already - I used to be the fat guy - even among the fat. On Biggest Loser, I would have been that guy with the "most to lose". Now, I wouldn't even fit on that show, it wouldn't make sense.

My outlook has changed - it's evolved. There can actually be a light at the end of the tunnel. I've done enough to move myself from "fat with no chance of living" to "if I keep working hard, I could really be a good looking guy". I mean, when I look at those pictures from over a year ago - I don't even know who that guy is anymore.

Hell, just look at my eating. Want a day's menu from this time last year? I remember it like it was yesterday.

Breastfast #1 - 2 bowls of cereal, whatever is there (about 800 calories)
Breakfast #2 (on the way to work) - 2 breakfast burritos, 3 McGriddles (2340 calories)
Lunch - (while at work) - Taco Bell - 3 cheese quesadillas, 2 grilled stuffed burritos (2910 calories)
Dinner #1 - (on the way home from work) - 4 double cheeseburgers (1840 calories)
Dinner #2 - Whatever healthy dinner Erin made (probably 800)
Total: 8690 calories in ONE day.

You know, I've never once did that math until now. I never really thought to - and to think that in all seriousness, I had something along those lines most days of the week. That puts me around 60,000 calories a week - with little exercise. I mean sure, I was "going to the gym", but there were so many days where I told Erin I would go to the gym, and then I'd pull into the Taco Bell parking lot, order the above, and eat it in the parking lot, and then go home as if I was in the gym. If that's not a visit to the confessional, I don't know what is. I mean, the fact of the matter is that I had some major, major issues - eating disorder, lazy, a complete disrespect for myself - whatever it was, I needed help and had no clue on how to find it.

It's just insane. And the reason I talk about this now is to show that I'm no longer the "fat guy" who THINKS he wants to be thin.

I'm the fattest skinny guy that you've ever met - but now I know what I'm doing, I know how to get there, and I WILL get there. It's not a matter of destroying bad habits anymore - I've done that, and I've won that battle.

Now, I am improving myself. Strong mind, strong body.

And next summer, I don't think I'll wear a shirt for months, because I'm not going to need one.

Leading By Example

Weigh In: 270.5 (new low!)
Five Day Average: 274.0
Calories Counted: 2026

A few things to note tonight.

First off - I had a new low today. Very satisfying, but this is where I've seen the light. Every time I see this new low, I let my foot off the gas and expect the car to coast. Not this time. We're headed into another weekend full of eating out and free schedules, so this will be another week to shine. I've got 10 days on the "Clean Eating Streak" and I'm not stopping any time soon.

Secondly, I'm pretty proud of my work team today. I've mentioned a few times how my team at work pretty much eats like crap. Pizza, subs, gyros, reuben, you name it - they eat it. Well, I think I'm starting to rub off. We were talking about how I've lost the weight, and they decided (I don't know if it's related or not, I'd like to think so) that instead of doing the typical Friday Pizza Day (or whatever carry out food it would have been), we're doing Salad Bar day.

Instead of pooling their money and getting highly processed, low quality food, we're all bringing in salad toppings and having a community salad bar. I'm bringing dressings, others are bringing the lettuce, veggies, etc - and we're having a healthy option for lunch. That may not be a big deal to some at my office, but to me that's a big step. I was talking to one of my co-workers today and she was telling me how she "should follow in your steps" and was talking to me about how I "do it", how I eat right and how I've lost the weight. Legit questions - not just the 'hi, I'm being friendly" thing.

So it's a step in the right direction, and I'm proud of them.

And tomorrow - for the first time in a long, LONG time - I'm eating lunch with my team.

Good Decisions

Weigh In: 273
Five Day Average: 274.2
Calories: 1,658

I've learned over the past few weeks (again - not the first time I've learned this) that there are some things that you can control in your life, and then there are some things that you can't control.

The weather - you can't control it. It's going to do whatever it's going to do.
George Bush - you can't control it. Hell, he can't even SPELL the word "control".
Weight Fluctuation - you can't control it. You can only make the best possible decisions and hope that the weight loss Gods are pleased.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm in the gym most days (couldn't go today - time conflicts), and will be back in there tomorrow. In the meantime, eating has been not good - but stellar. I don't think I could improve upon it if I wanted to. And even if I wanted to - I'm doing pretty damned good. Shredded wheat for breakfast - a homemade salad (lettuce, shredded tuna and light dressing) for lunch, and a pork chop w/ EVOO, spaghetti squash and a light salad for dinner. Under 1700 calories.

I may or may not lose weight on the scale tomorrow - I've learned that I can't 'expect' it - but when I step off the scale in the morning, whether it's joy or frustration - it won't be regret.

Oh, and that picture at the top? That was me last summer. I said that I wouldn't go back and pat myself on the back for my weight loss - but seeing that picture just blows my mind. I was a big fella. I'll never see that guy ever again.

Tuck's Big Challenge Weigh In

Just a heads up - today's weigh in day!

I created a separate blog to keep track of all of this since it was taking up the whole right side of my column, so make sure to bookmark the new Tuck's Big Challenge site here:

http://tucksbigchallenge.blogspot.com

So run over there and post your weigh-in for this week.

And don't forget to check out last night's blog post here.

Accepting What You Can't Control

Weigh In: 275.00
Five Day Average: 274.4
Calories Counted: 1888

First off, this is what I ate today:

6:30am: Scrambled Eggs, no toast. Just eggs.
11:00am: Deli Sliced Ham and a Banana
3:00pm: Shredded Wheat & 1% Milk
6:30pm: Pork Chop cooked with EVOO, salad w/ feta and Italian dressing, squash

What's important is what I didn't have. Erin and I went out with her sister and family to my favorite bar tonight - we ordered chips and salsa and a round of beers. I'm proud to say that I didn't have a SINGLE chip or a drop of salsa, and I spent the night drinking Diet Coke.

To me, this isn't easy. This bar has like 40 beers on tap and the chips and salsa are worth killing over. All I could think about was this blog, and how much work I've put into this week. Hell, if I gain weight when I'm good w/ the diet - what would happen if I had chips and beer?

Also, I started this new workout that Billy's recommending me today. It's a 12 week cycle - three four-week periods. Pretty intense, feels great.

A few side notes - I learned the hard way where I've been getting my high sodium levels - the sliced deli ham and the fat free Italian dressing. I've always read labels, but I've usually looked at calories and not much deeper. Holy crap - I had almost 1800 grams of sodium in only 120 calories of deli ham. And, it's almost 800mg of sodium in 2 tablespoons of fat free Italian dressing. Never thought to look, but I wouldn't have ever guessed. I'm thinking you can guess what is going to be left off of tomorrow's menu, right?

So the streak continues. I'm checking my frustration from this past week at the door. I can only control what I do, and I can't control the results that the scale gives me. Why bother getting all bent out of shape over it, right?

(Disclaimer: I'm allowed to be a hypocrite and freak out over the scale in the future. Hey - I have to be honest, right?)

Questions

Weigh In: 275.5
Five Day Average: 274.3
Calories Counted: 2009

There's a bunch of doubt going through my head these past few days.

1) Am I eating the right things? If not, why has everything I've done worked for the past 11 months, and why is it not working now? Today I had bananas for breakfast, a bowl of shredded wheat with 1% milk, a packet of tuna (with mustard, no bread), tilapia for dinner with some Lipton lowfat noodles and a salad (lettuce, light parm cheese and fat free italian dressing - only 2 tablespoons). I feel like I'm pretty spot on with this, but let's look a bit closer.

2) Is my scale accurate? I really don't want to deal with a second scale. I've been noticing lately that when I first step on it, and then step off and step back on, I'm getting different readings. They're usually only a 1/2 pound off - but they used to be exact every time. I really, really don't want to introduce another scale into the picture. Been there, done that.

3) Should I alter the diet? Should I move to more supplements or a 'strict diet' for a while?

It's been a struggle. Through August and September, I kind of half-assed it. I mean, I was in the gym, but the diet was 'so-so' when it could have been stellar. However, here in October, the calories have been on target. The workouts have been strong. And yet, I'm higher now than when the month started. It's hard to deal with.

As for those of you who think I shouldn't weigh myself every day, let me at least mention why I can't do that. First off - I'm addicted to the scale. I feel responsible to it. I know that I have to report to it every morning, so it's a part of my routine. I do accept that I'm going to deal with more stress and fluxuation than I would if I weighed in every week, but I know myself - if I weighed in once a week, I'd "do OK" on days that were close to the weigh-in day, but then I'd slack off and not feel responsible when I knew I had 5 or 6 days before the weigh-in day.

So, I stick to the scale weigh in every day, even if it's a bit stressful. It's worked like a charm since Day One, so I'm a bit hesitant to change things.

This is what I had today for meals:

Nutrition Report

Fat - 11.9% (28 grams) Protein - 26.5% (138 grams) Carbohydrates - 61.6% (320 grams) Alcohol - 0.0% Other - 0.0% Daily Sodium Intake - 3,226 mg Daily Cholesterol Intake - 289 mg Daily Fiber Intake - 34 grams

Nutrition Grade A-

I notice that my sodium's high, but now that I look closer, this is something that's been high since day one. I drink between 2 and 4 liters of water a day, and plenty of bananas (high potassium) so that helps with the sodium. I should probably look to lower that number a bit - but honestly, I don't think that it's THAT big of a factor - especially considering that I've been around this sodium intake number ever since day one. However, I'll try to lower that.

Other than that, I feel like I'm doing ok. To you guys (and gals) who know more about the science of this and the breakdown between proteins/carbs/fats, etc - how does the rest of this stack up? And for those of you who have a pretty well set up diet - how are you combating whatever looks wrong?

I'm working too hard to see these damn numbers keep going up. I've always preached that "Hard Work Brings Results" - but that hasn't been the case lately. I need to look closer at this - so, advice?

Crash

You know that feeling that you would get if you were holding a lottery ticket while you were watching the balls being chosen - and you hit the lottery? You realize that you just became a millionaire?

Then, do you know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you would have if you realize that today was Sunday, and the lotto ticket you were looking at was for last weekend's drawing, and that you didn't win anything?

Yesterday's Weigh In: 271.5
Today's Weigh In: 276

I have no idea why this happens. I know it can't be 4 1/2 pounds of fat in one (perfect eating) day, and I know that the 271.5 was a major drop for the day before, but damn it if this took the wind out of my sails. Less than 24 hours ago I seriously thought that I would be coming Monday actually accomplishing something. I would have been great with seeing 272 or even 273 on the scale - but 276? And hell, not that I should be watching the scale every night with the way the body fluxuates, but I just stepped on it and it read 278.5. It completely boggles the mind on how my body works.

Without this Coalition, today would have been the day I threw everything away and binged the shit out of myself. I'm so frustrated beyond words - after a solid week, I end up another Sunday higher than I was the Sunday prior.

This is what my full plan was for yesterday:

Nutrition Report

Fat - 28.7% (54 grams) Protein - 17.3% (74 grams) Carbohydrates - 51.5% (219 grams) Alcohol - 0.0% Other - 2.6% Daily Sodium Intake - 3,769 mg Daily Cholesterol Intake - 741 mg Daily Fiber Intake - 28 grams

Nutrition Grade A-

Date	Calories	Grams	Fat		Carbs	Protein	Grade
2007-10-06	1,701	970	54		219	74	A-

=========================================

Honestly, I really am pretty down about this today. When I stepped on that scale this morning and saw the number, it sent me into a frenzy. Doubt, anger, frustration, you name it - it was there.

All I can do is continue on, and that's what I'm going to do - but when I write that book in a few years about how I lost all this weight .. when I talk about 'ultimate highs' and 'ultimate lows' - this morning's weigh in is going to be on that second one's page.

Comin' Round the Mountain

Weigh In: 271.5 (new low!)
Five Day Average: 273.5 (new low!)
Calories Counted: 1,701

Yesterday I came in at 274, and today I dropped to 271. How I weigh in is I step on the scale, take three weigh ins, and if they're the same, I go with it. So I did this today, and got 3 consecutive 271.5's. Pretty pumped, obviously. Then again, I stepped on the scale a half hour later and saw 272.5's and 273's - so two things:

1) That's what I get for stepping on the scale 100 times a day.
2) I'm hoping this isn't a sign that I'm going to need a new scale anytime soon. Been through that whole "changing scales" thing twice now, don't want to do it again.

So of course, I'm THRILLED to see the 271.5, and the most important thing is, I'm not giving my body any reason to take it back from me.

Made some great eating decisions today - hell, I ate out twice today.

For breakfast we went to our favorite breakfast place - awesome food, huge servings, and all the bacon you could wrangle up. What was on my plate? A slice of lean ham and a 3 egg omelet with mushrooms only, and 2 slices of rye toast, dry.

Went out to Don Pablo's for dinner - and I was pretty proud of myself.

First off - I counted my calories before I went - I was ready and knew what I was going to order before I walked in the door.

1) 12 chips & 2 ounces of salsa - about 330 cals
2) Mamma's Skinny Enchiladas - 373 cals
3) Sweet Corncake - 250 cals

This would have ended my day right around 2100 calories. Completely fine as is.

When I got there though, all I could think about were those chips and salsa. What if I could resist them? What if for once, I could just watch them go by? I mean - it wouldn't be a big deal, right? But all that was going through my mind was that if I DID skip them, then I would be UNDER 2000 instead of just over. In fact, I'd be right at 1700.

And that's the difference between losing a "few" pounds and reaching the goals I set for myself yesterday. I can't just do what's expected - I have to go above and beyond.

So yeah - small victories lead to the large ones. I'm proud of myself today.

Oh - and one thing about the gym today. I did HIIT for the first time in a long, long time today. On the Elliptical, I cranked out 15 minutes of HIIT - went 30 seconds balls out, and then 60 seconds rest, 6 cycles with 3 minutes warm up and cool down. I got my heart rate over 170, up to 172 - I don't remember the last time I saw that.

Weekend Warriors, baby.

(Oh, and I said that I'd get a new low this weekend, and I nailed it today. Means nothing if I don't gain steam - and for what it's worth, you might want to get off the tracks. This train's coming through.)

A New Look At An Old Game

Weigh In: 274
Five Day Average: 274.16
Calories Counted: 1972

May - 7 pounds.
June - 6.5 pounds.
July - 4.5 pounds.
August - 3 pounds.
September - HALF a freaking pound.

See a trend?

I've been thinking the past month or two that I've been spinning my wheels more than going full-assed. I've told myself a million times that "today" was the day that I was going to renew my spirit and take the reins on this thing like I did back when I started, and a million times I feel myself digging my heels into the ground and making it as hard as possible on myself.

Judging by the comments on yesterday's blog, it seems as if I'm not the only one who noticed.

I think that's why the FAT Coalition has been so reliable for me. Honestly, if it wasn't for this group of people, I would have quit this thing 30 times by now. I would have fallen into my old habits - habits that have been sneaking into my life more often lately - and I would have gained all my weight back.

I started talking about this recently, but much about this whole weight loss thing is mental. You have to have this fire - this pure intensity - that takes you over the hill when the tires are flat. What I'm starting to realize is that I'm not ALWAYS going to have this drive and motivation to lose weight and do everything right. Even when that motivation isn't there - when that tire is flat, you still have to get over the hill. And if that car don't drive, you better get your ass out of the car, get behind it, and push that damn thing over the hill by yourself.

I've had a great week this week since I screwed my head on straight. My weigh in this Monday, after this horrible last weekend, was 277. Today, it was 274. My 'new low' was 273. So, I'm headed in the right direction again. And for what it's worth - I plan on posting a "new low" this weekend.

But that doesn't mean anything. What it means is that a mistake that I created myself, I'm finally making up for. Yet again, I'm reclaiming ground that was previously mine. That's not even taking into consideration any gains that I could have been making.

So, starting now - I'm done talking about the 100 pounds that I lost. That's in the past, and means nothing. I've congratulated myself for losing 100 for the past few months, and now it's getting old. I've got about 54 pounds until I see 220 - and I'm not going to get across the finish line if I keep stopping in pit row to admire myself in the mirror. This week.. this current streak that sits at four days of perfect eating, needs to continue. And it starts with this weekend - a TRUE weekend warrior.

Also - I need to start working on numerical goals again. When I was setting ambitious goals back in the day, I'd either blow right past them, or at least get close. I used to set goals at things like "12 pounds a month". This month, I want to drop 13. Since I started the month at 277, that would put me at 264 at the end of October.

My original goal was to lose 100 pounds in 1 year. That year expires on November 22, 2007. I weighed in at 354 that day. I was 4 pounds heavier than the scale would even read at the gym. I'm stealing a term coined by Billy and declaring November 22nd my "Rebirthday" - to celebrate the day of my rebirth. Then, the next milestone for me would be New Year's Eve - the 7 year anniversary of the day that I first laid eyes on my wife to be.

So - here's my goals for the future.

October 31 - 264 (13 pounds)
November 22 - 250 (14 pounds)
December 31 - 240 (10 pounds)

The bottom line is, based on my past few months performance, there's no way in hell I reach these goals. But, the fire that I had in me in January led me to a 15 pound loss.

If I'm the man I say I am - I'm going to lose this weight - or I'll die trying.

PS: I officially signed up for the 3-day walk next year. September 26-28, 2008.

Boom - Headshot!

Weigh In: 274.5
Five Day Average: 275.65
Calories Counted: 2333

I've always had a big head. It's one of those German curses, I suppose. I look at the picture above and I kind of shake my enlarged melon. I never realized until it was too late that I had gotten as big as I had, and it is just good to know that I'm in the right direction. It's tough sometimes, and I'm one who is famous for looking too closely and not seeing the big picture, but when you see these pictures, you know that you've accomplished something.

That being said, I think that's part of the trap I fall into. I've been spending a lot of time lately resting on my laurels. I mean - I've lost 104 pounds (according to my 5 day average), that's pretty damned impressive to me. But, if feels as if I'm sitting pretty being all proud of myself and not working as hard as I could to lose the other 55 pounds I want to lose because I'm too busy patting myself on the back.

I've been pretty solid the past few days. Made some good decisions, and I had a stellar workout this morning. I'm starting to find my groove again.

Not much else to say tonight - just trying to remind myself (and perhaps others) that no matter how far I've come, I've got a long way to go. Looking at the head pictures right now, I realize that I can't even remember myself looking like the 2005 picture. And I'm sure that back then, if I was looking at today's picture, I wouldn't even recognize that person at me.

Imagine what I'll be saying a year from now ifI keep my head on straight and keep working as hard as I can.

Dancing Birdies and Jim Loving

Today's Weigh In: 274.5
Yesterday's Calories Counted: 2303?

I think I made some pretty good decisions yesterday when it came to my eating. It was one of those 'tough situations' last night. Erin's uncles are still in town because they came in for her other uncle's triple-bypass (he's recovering well), so we all went downtown to Greektown last night. If you're not from the Detroit area, Greektown is legendary for their good food. A whole street full of different types of Greek cuisine.

So, we sit down at Pegasus and order. Everything is there - so many Greek choices, so few words I could pronounce. I wanted to try something that I wouldn't normally try - and I wanted to do it in a healthy way. Instead of getting a full blown meal with the lemon soup, bread and fries/potato, I opted for two appetizers. One was Grape Leaves, which looked gross but were simply amazing. About as healthy as you can get. The other was Quail. That grossed out Erin big time - usually you would think they would cut it all up and not make it look like an actual bird, but all the body parts were attached (minus the head - even *I* wouldn't have eaten it that way) - so you know my goofy ass had to play comedian and grab the quail by its arms and make it dance around the table.

I'm SO mature.

That being said, the meal was FANTASTIC and super healthy. Chalk one up for me.

Also, the picture at the top is of me and our friend Jim (not 3-day Jim) at the cheering station waiting for Jim (yes, the 3-day Jim.. not TOO confusing, eh?) to make it through during the 3-day walk (click on the picture to make it bigger). We were at the 55 mile point when he came walking by strong. Was pretty damn impressed, as I mentioned already. I'm going to start training (and fundraising - get your wallets out, folks) by adding more walking into my routine. I know it's a year away - but damn if walking 20 miles in one day ain't no joke.

Oh, and one more clerical thing - I'll have the teams back down to two person soon. I'll try to get everyone matched up with someone they want to be with - we'll make this work.

300

Yesterday's Weigh In: 277
Yesterday's Calories: 1392
Today's Weigh In: 274
Today's Calories: Pending

I wanted to talk about a few things today. First off - the subject and picture represent the number of posts that I've made on this blog since I started. It's hard to believe that I've posted 300 times on this site. Looking back, I can't believe how much of a roller coaster this ride has been, and will be. From wanting to quit to being proud of my accomplishments, I've ran the gamut. I think that it's sometimes hard to see the big picture - we get pissed off and think we're never going to lose any more weight, and sometimes we see some progress and really feel great and think we've locked into a long term solution. The only 'truth' that I've found is that this is an ever changing battle, and if you don't adapt, you get lost in the dust.

Here's some other things that I've learned in the past 300:

1) It's just as hard now as it was the day that I started. I always assumed early on that once this became a 'lifestyle' I wouldn't have to think about it. I would just naturally work hard and eat right and do all the things that I need to do to succeed. That's not the case, at least for me. 300 later, I'm still having to be SO diligent about what I do and how I do it. When I get lazy, I lose the success. That's a statement about life in general, and it really reflects on how we're losing weight.

2) Keep it simple, stupid! I can't tell you how many times I've tried to out-think myself. "Let's do it this way", or "let's substitute this for that". The most basic concept that we think of when we're talking about weight loss is "Calories In, Calories Out". The second think we think of is "the trick to weight loss is eating right and exercise". These are the truths that I've come to learn. You can add things, change things up, try new things, but the bottom line is - this has to be our focus. Are you eating right? Are you exercising? If both are "yes", then chances are, you're in the right direction.

3) Teamwork. This Coalition was founded when Kevin and Becky put together their blogs. Then, once I started promoting the day I started, I found Billy on some random website. Once we found each other we decided together that we would do good to have each other hold the others accountable. I think this is the biggest key right here.

I think sometimes we lose the focus on the FAT Coalition. We're here to keep each other accountable. We're here to cheer each other one, to be supportive when others are down, and learn from each other, but the founding principle was that we held each other accountable. I can only speak for myself, but ever since we formed these original four blogs, I felt like I had to report to these guys. During the day, every time I had an opportunity to cheat on my diet, I remember that I would have to confess to these three people. If I was debating between working out and skipping the gym, in my mind all I could think about is the fact that I would have to admit my laziness to these folks - and that would drive me to the gym.

Over time, the Coalition has grown, and I love what we've created as a group. The majority of us have never met, yet we trust each other with our inner most thoughts. We are this team of folks that have maybe only one thing in common - and that's our desire to lose weight.

300 posts later, I'm proud of what I see. We have our disagreements, we have different opinions, and we aren't afraid to speak our minds. And the most important part?

We're doing it. Want proof?

Tuck's Big Challenge Results: -
August, total weight lost: 34.34 pounds -
September, total weight lost: 79.5 pounds -
Two Month, total weight lost: 113.84 pounds!

That means something. It means it's working. October's numbers will be up soon. Can everyone who wants to be in the challenge put their starting numbers up (today's weigh in) as a comment in this blog?

Life

Weigh In: 277
Calories Counted: 2300-ish

There's a lot to be thankful for today, but not much when it comes to weight loss. Honestly, weight loss has been fighting for my attention lately. I've been trying to keep it in perspective, but because of everything that's going on, it's been on the back burner. That's probably why the weight has been sneaking up the last week, but it's one of those things where I know I just have to keep it contained and in control, but be pretty accepting.

First off - this weekend was horrible for my eating. I had my buddy home from Oklahoma and it was like old times. My eating wasn't HORRIBLE, but it wasn't great either. You compound that with the amount of alcohol I had this weekend, and it makes for a not so great weigh in.

Also, I just want to mention that I'm super proud of Jim for walking the 3-day. Also, Melissa, but it sucks that we weren't able to meet up. Crazy weekend for me, so sorry that I didn't get ahold of you on that. Really intended to. Jim (and the other walkers) did 60 miles in the 3 day period, and when I caught up with Jim at the 55 mile point, he seemed like he was going strong as an ox. I was damn impressed. I haven't had time to check his blog lately (or any of yours.. sorry!), but I'm sure the stories will come and be worth reading.

As for today, I'm not sure if any of you are religious, but if you are, I'd appreciate any extra prayers that can come our way. We had quite the day today in our family. Erin's Uncle Jack is 51, and just had to have a triple bypass surgery today on his heart. Long story made short, the entire family has a history of heart problems, he had already had a quadruple bypass 10 years ago, and this week he was told that the risk of never making it off of the surgery table was a very real possibility. He was in bad shape.

Long story made short, he's in recovery now after about 6-8 hours of surgery. He made it through, and the doctors and surgeons were simply amazing. But it gets me thinking about how important our health is. I mean.. when I lose this weight, it's about how I look. I mean, sure.. I do it for my health, my main motivation has been to lose this weight for my wife - to live longer, but when you actually *SEE* something like this happen, it really puts it into perspective.

I mean .. a year ago, that could have been me. Almost 400 pounds, my heart had to have been working overtime on a daily basis. Even now, I'm 60 or more pounds overweight. I fall into this trap of feeling like I've accomplished something by losing 100 pounds, but I'm still a health risk. I forget that sometimes through the compliments and congratulations I get about how I look. But I'm so far away - and today was one of those days where I just saw myself sitting on that table, being put under the knife and having a 1 in 10 chance of never living a day without my wife.

That scares the hell out of me.

So the fight rages on. I may have a bad day, or even a bad weekend, but this is going to be a lifelong struggle to get this right. I'm definitely not perfect, and frankly, I've really been struggling lately being able to keep the "streak" alive, but even if I haven't put a full 30 days in a row like I want to, I won't stop until I'm where I need to be. I'm not just doing it so I can have the abs and chest. I'm doing it so I can be there for my family for a long, long time.

Sometimes it takes a miracle like today to remember that.

Tuck's "Burn It Up!" Challenge!

We will be doing both a Weight Loss Challenge and an Exercise Challenge. Totally separate from each other. The Weight Loss Challenge will be the same as last month and August, and this will be the Exercise Challenge.

For the "Burn It Up!" Challenge, there are no teams. You're not competing against other FAT Members - instead, you're competing against yourself - and most importantly, the FAT Coalition works as a TEAM.

Take an honest look at your workout habits. How long do you work out a day? A week? A month, even? Average it out, and do your math. If you didn't change ANYTHING - you just went about your day, how many minutes a day do you spend exercising? This what you would consider your "Base Point".

Now, for the challenge, let's see if we can push ourselves a little bit harder. Instead of giving 100%, let's give 110% - literally.

So, if you had 500 minutes as the amount of time you spend exercising over the course of a month (calculate to 28 days), then your goal is 550 minutes. If you spend 1000 minutes in the gym, then your goal is 1100. We'll measure this two ways.

1: I'll keep track of everyone's individual goal. You're not competing against anyone else in the Coalition. I'll post those each week, and we'll report numbers every week like we do now.

2: I'll keep a total team goal. Once we all establish our goals, I'll add them up and keep a full tally on this page.

And remember, since this isn't about winning and losing, be completely honest with yourself in terms of how much you've worked out in the past. Use the past few months as an example. The end goal is for us all to charge right into these next few months - perhaps the hardest months of the year to lose weight - and come out thinner, stronger and healthier.

October 31st is a Wednesday, so we'll start this challenge this Wednesday, October 3rd. So, let me know who wants in - and who can help the FAT Coalition "Burn It Up!"

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Sign Up:

1: Do you want to be included in the October "Burn It Up" Challenge? (Exercise Challenge)

2: Do you want to be included in the October "Tuck's Big Challenge" contest (Weight Loss?)

3: If you haven't given your September Final Weigh In, please post in this blog.