The Third Act

"The Third Act".

I have been working on the same draft of a post for this blog for the past week.  Literally, I have saved it, didn't like it, redone it, and continued to not post it.

Fast forward to today.

I've been telling my wife that I need to do something.  I'm doing a lot of talking, but no action.  I'm doing a lot of research, and not a lot of positive eating and exercise.  Basically, I'm doing a lot of talk, and no action.

I'm going to have a pretty long blog here - but stay with me on this one.  There's some good, well thought out stuff in here and it'll be much more organized than some of my past few pout-fests.

First off, I deleted that draft that I have been working on.  I had a realization today.  That draft was chock full of complaining, blaming and self pity. Excuses for failure, and a call for sympathy.  I don't need that, and the "poor me" shirt doesn't look very good on me.

God's got a funny way to show me things that have been right in front of me.  This afternoon, I started reading my old blog, http://icanseemytoes.blogspot.com - hoping to find motivation.  Perhaps I could inspire myself with something I was doing right in the past.

Ironically, it wasn't until I came across a post in January of 2015 that something caught my eye.

Check this out.

First off,  this was a post that I made about joining the Red Sea running team.  I was hopeful, and made mentions about how many times I"ve failed, but ... THIS TIME .. .I was going to be successful.

Again.

I've gone this route fifty times.

Fail.  Promise to succeed.  Fail.  Promise to succeed.

Wash, rinse and repeat.

This was back in January.  It's September now.  For those who are keeping score, that's nine more months of empty promises and lack of TRUE effort.

But this post isn't what is important.  I noticed that I had a simple "ONE COMMENT" on this blog.  Who would be commenting on this blog?  Did I miss a pity "you can do it this time!" from a friend nine months ago?

So I clicked on it.   And this is what I found.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey man, I'm a regular Anonymous Joe who stumbled across, and read your stockpile of blogs. Let me tell you, it was pretty inspiring for a while there.

Then everything went to crap. I'd ask "what happened" but you pretty much spelled it out on these pages. It's all a real "rise and fall" story. Not to minimize your struggles but Scarface immediately comes to mind.

Anyway, you're a pretty good writer...maybe even a borderline great one. So is Billy, and so is Kevin. In the end, the Coalition's ability to tell compelling stories really kept me engaged in a way that few other internet blogs have. Everything you've written would make for a pretty sizzling memoir. If you haven't considered writing one, maybe it's time to do so.

But there's a problem. You see, it ends on the fall. The crumbling of the kingdom you'd built. Nobody likes a story that ultimately compels them to play in traffic.

Maybe Scarface was a bad analogy. You know, at the end, I was sort of glad to see Tony get his. To see his empire fall. After all, he alienated everyone close to him, and even killed his best friend. You're different. I didn't want to see you get blasted with fat-bullets and fall head over ass over a balcony into a marble fountain filled with butter. You see, I was rooting for you. I was fine with how Scarface ended. The end here, on this blog, frickin sucks.

You can change that. You can battle those addictions. You can write an end to your story that doesn't involve three double cheeseburgers beating you into submission like a Colombian hit squad.

Anyway, if you decide to tackle your problem once and for all, we'll be reading.

The mind is an incredibly powerful thing. Tap into that SHEER WILL that lays within it, and resides in all of us, even if in small amounts.

And most importantly,lean on God. Get on your knees, beg for direction. Read Isaiah 40:31. And remember, In Christ ALL THINGS are possible.

Peace!

PS - I've got an addiction as well (man, that sounds creepy...don't worry, it's nothing illegal). But yeah, it's a thorn in my side I've never been able to remove. If you decide to shake your addiction, and I read about it here, maybe some Anonymous Joe in the Internet ether will finally decide to shake his.

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Holy crap.

I read it three .... no, four times.

This stranger put into words what I haven't been able to in the past 8 years of this blog.  Why have I failed?  What did I do?

He compared me to Scarface.

That's so cool.  Except for he dies at the end.  And this great kingdom that he built crumbled at the end at his own hands.

I don't want to be Scarface.

I'm not going to make promises though and continue to watch my kingdom crumble.  I refuse to be the one who "get blasted with fat-bullets and fall head over ass over a balcony into a marble fountain filled with butter."  (I mean, c'mon.  Amazing line, but I don't want it to be me).

So, how so how do I make it any different?  How do I keep myself on the balcony, safe and sound?

I was motivational as I built my first act.

My second act has last years, filled with regret and woulda-coulda-shoulda.

What will my third act be?

I'm not going to just talk about it.  Here's a few things that I've realized.

After looking at the blog, I looked at how many times I've posted during the years.  This is what I see:

►  2015 (2)
►  2014 (4)
►  2009 (1)
►  2008 (118)
►  2007 (346)
►  2006 (33)

Do you see what I see?

In the years I succeeded (206-2008), the posts were WAY up.  Note, that in 2006, I started posting on Thanksgiving weekend.

Right around the middle of 2008, I went through a divorce, a life change, moved out of my house and onto my brother's couch, gave up my job to student teach and basically my life was turned inside out.  I never got it back.

So, the first thing I'm going to do to hold myself ACCOUNTABLE is that I'm going to record my calories and post a blog every day.  Even if there's not a lot of news to report, I have to get back into the habits of THINKING and PAYING ATTENTION to my weight.  It's when I stop thinking about it, just 'going through the day without accountability', when I slip further down the slippery slide.

What's the second thing?

This is where I go from posting on a blog to asking for you to reach through this computer and help hold me up.

I need accountability partners.

Not just someone who will send me a thoughtful "you can do it!" post once in a while - not that those are bad, please do those too.

I need a few of you to keep me accountable.  Call me.  Check up on me.  Meet me during the week.  Call me at 5am to make sure that I'm getting up to go to the gym.  Text me back at 7am and ask me for the picture of me in the gym to prove that I didn't just lay in bed.  Someone who will sit down with me on a Sunday and make sure I go through my meal list for the week.

Anonymous Joe quoted Isaiah 40:31:

31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.

I offer to you another verse, Ecclesiastes 4:10

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

If you're willing to be an accountability partner - mostly those who are here in town and can meet up with me, but also those away from here who can call or text over time, please let me know.  I will do the same for you for anything you may need from me.

Starting Monday, I will do this.  I have to.  Tomorrow's church, and I've got a lot to think about before Monday, because it's time to start this third act.  You know, the one where the main character seems like there's no way out, but somehow, through the Grace of God, rises up and wins?

The curtain rises on Monday.