Life Is Meant To Be Enjoyed

Note: New pictures on the right column, comparing mid December to this past weekend.

Weigh In: 301

Well, today's me and my wife's anniversary. 2 great years, and she hasn't killed me.. yet. My goal was to get under 300 by April 30th, and I can say that I actually did weigh in once a few days ago under 300 with my 299 a few days back, and after taking a 3 day break (I did work out up north but I probably consumed about 2800-3000 calories a day), I pretty much maintained, and kept close to the 300 barrier.

I feel refreshed right now, mentally and physically.

So, this is what I've learned in the past five months.

You have to set goals. You have to challenge yourself. You have to work as hard as you possibly can until you feel like you can't work any harder. But then, you have to let go for a while. You have to be able to relax, and take some time to yourself. I'm one of those guys who work out 6, sometimes 7 days a week. My calories are pushed to the smallest of the limits. I have no 'medium' speed - it's either full speed or off. But I think that we have to keep this in perspective too.

As I read around the Coalition of us who are doing this weight loss thing, I see a lot of similarities. I see us getting frustrated with our plateaus at the same time. I see us celebrating our successes on the scale. I love it when I see people like Becky who is realizing her love for the outdoors. I think that sometimes we get so wrapped up in the scale, the weight loss process, and the numbers (guilty!) that we forget why we do this in the first place.

For guys like Kevin and I, we started off wanting to lose 100 pounds, and we're pretty much both at the halfway point. We're talking about five months. It took us years to put this weight on, and in five months, we've gone from the guy who sits on the couch and shovels embarrassingly obscene amounts of food into our mouths, to the guy who is conscious about what we look like, and what goes into our systems. We get down on ourselves when we fail, and we are overly hard on ourselves when we don't hit our goals when WE WANT to hit our goals.

So, why do I rant about this?

Because May is going to be "goal free". Nothing is going to change in my operation. I'm still in the gym 6-7 days a week. I'm still eating great. I'm feeling about as refreshed as the day that I started this.

But for one month, no "I have to hit my goal by _____". No "I need X amount of this.." or "I must do _____".

Just go out, work hard, and enjoy what the scale gives me.

Stress sucks. Weight loss ain't easy. Fighting the urge to eat those foods that inflated us the first time just sucks.

So why add stress about a number?

Here's what I'm more interested in:

November 22 - 354.
December 9 - 341.
January 31 - 330.5.
February 28 - 325.
March 31 - 312.
April 30 - 301
May 30 - Lower, and healthier.

Enjoy life. If you don't, what's the point of this weight loss process in the first place?

"GRAND" Weekend

Weigh In: No clue.

I'm writing this blog on my laptop while sitting in bed in our hotel room at the Grand Traverse Resort. For our anniversary, I've taken Erin to this Spa/Resort, with a Wine Trail - where you go to different wineries and try the different wines. I'm not much of a wine guy, but it's growing on me.

So, today I didn't work out, but I found out that there's a gym here, so you can count on me being there tomorrow. I ate "ok", about 2800 calories today. Not great, but definitely not as bad as I could have been when there was free cheeses, unlimited wine and chocolate truffles, breads, chocolate covered strawberries - you name it. This chef had a HUGE spread, and I was reasonable about it. So, 2800 could have quite easily have been 4800 if I hadn't have made the right decisions. So, a victory. Small one, but I'll take it.

Tomorrow we're going on the Wine Trail, where we're taking a tour of 6 wineries in the area, where they drive us around and we get the whole tour and everything. It'll be fun, and then there's a full blown dinner party tomorrow night, so I'll have to be conscious of what I eat.

Also, on Sunday morning before we leave for home, we're getting a "Couple Massage", which is just basically us both being in the same room for 50 minutes getting this kick ass rubdown, so it's something that I need. A lot of it is the 'want', but the 'need' comes in when it comes to the stress I've been feeling. It's been out of hand, but now that my tough final is over (one more Monday), and I've got a weekend to just enjoy, I'm taking my best opportunity to recharge, and get ready for a big May.

So what's this mean?

It means that my batteries are recharging right now. Gary comes home from vacation this weekend too, so we're getting back into the workout routine Monday. I feel like, when this weekend is over, I'm starting over with a clean slate, and I will have the energy to make yet another huge push. This time, it's not about 300. It's about 250.

So, go enjoy your weekend. You know I'm going to ;)

Time To Relax

Weigh In: Who Cares?

I've decided to take a break. Now, before Erin or anyone else jumps on me, I don't mean a break from the gym or from eating healthy. I mean a break from the scale. It's been frustrating me to the point of no return, unhealthy stress, and anything else that can't be good.

So, I am skipping today's weigh-in (even if it was a 299), and I'm skipping it tomorrow too. Hell, I'm going to skip it Saturday, and then I'll probably get back on the scale on Sunday, maybe Monday.

I've also decided that I'm going to go with the scale at the gym, because it's the one I've been going with since the beginning. Why change that just because I decided to bring an impostor into my house? If I wouldn't have bought the stupid thing, I wouldn't have been stressing out (ok, that's not true) about hitting under 300 - and I would have been able to enjoy it today when I saw 299 on the scale. The bottom line is, I've been looking for a excuse, a reason, whatever you want to call it, for not hitting 300 - and the thing that I've been missing is patience.

The scale break will be easy, because this weekend I'm taking my wife to ______________ for our 2nd anniversary this weekend. We're leaving tomorrow afternoon and will be returning in the middle of the day on Sunday. I'll tell you guys more about this when we get back, but it's a secret trip for her, so it's a secret trip for you guys too, for now. No worries, nothing illegal ;)

So, here's to a few days of well earned rest - right after my suicidal final tomorrow morning.

Oh, and here's to our newest FAT Member, Shalynn, from Oregon. She says she's not lost, but she just needs to be found. So, find her blog here, and show her the awesome support that the FAT Coalition has shown to me, and everyone else in the group. Welcome aboard, Shalynn!

Mind Games

Weigh In: Listen to this story...

This is a day where I should be thrilled.

So, the last week or so, my weight has been ALL over the place. You guys have seen me go to drastic measures (buying a new scale, eating McDonalds), you've seen me bitch and whine like a little girl, you've seen me change my mind about 30 times, you've heard me rant, rave and act like someone who doesn't know that weight loss isn't supposed to be easy.

Just yesterday I decided to go with the number on the scale that I bought. It was 6-10 pounds heavier, but I said I would just accept it. The scale I use at the gym (as Billy said, the weight-balance scales are pretty much the most accurate measure) has been bad to me, so I overreacted and bought a new scale. I don't know if that was me trying to get a better number, I don't know if it was me believing (or trying to believe?) that the scale at the gym wasn't working.. I don't know what it was.

So I stepped on the scale in the bathroom (the new one) right when I woke up this morning. It read 309.2. Frustrated, I went to the gym and did my step class. I came back home, stepped on the new scale again, and it just said 306.4.

But, as I have done EVERY SINGLE DAY since November 22nd, after my workout, I hit the showers, dried up, and stepped on the weight-balance scale at the gym.

I got 299.

I couldn't believe it. And, it's not even that "balance the weights until they just touch" cheating thing that I've been doing for the past month or so.

This was dead nuts center. I mean, if I did my cheating thing that I've been doing, I could have gotten it down to like 296 or 297.

So, this is my problem.

Do I celebrate the 299? Do I stick to the scale that just yesterday I swore would be my real number?

What the hell?

Advice - the blunt kind would be the best. I probably don't want to hear it, but I have a feeling I need it. I honestly don't know if I should be happy, mad, frustrated.. all I know is, even though I know you'll say "it's not about the number", to me it is. It always has been, and I don't think that'll change for me. So, that in mind.. thoughts?

Back to Business

Weigh In: 307.4 (new scale)

I'm just going to deal with the weight that I am, and realize that I can't do anything about it. The reason that I got the new scale is, I needed to see an exact number. The balanced weight scale in the gym allowed for too much flexibility, so this new digital is just what I've needed - an honest representation of what I weigh. I've gotten over the fact that different scales say different things, and I've dealt mentally with the higher number than I've been seeing.

But, as others have said, and I eluded to yesterday - I own that 45 pounds that I lost. No one can take that away from me.

I've been frustrated lately because of this whole "reaching 300 before the anniversary" thing. Hell, last month is was "under 300 by 30", which ended in March. I've been fighting for this damn number for two months now, and I'm still falling short.

The bottom line is, I'm going to get there. I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm not frustrated about it. If it wasn't for this blog and the following I'm getting on it - I probably would have binged the hell out of this week. McDonalds for one meal is one thing, but this is the time where I'd order the two large pizzas, and mow down about 2000 calories before the pizzas made it to my door.

It's easy for me to tell others to 'be patient', and that 'as long as you work hard, you're going to hit the goal', and that 'it doesn't matter when you hit the goal, as long as you hit it'. Giving advice is a piece of cake - it's the TAKING of that advice is tough.

So, I'm doing what I need to do. Working out, eating smarter - and that's all I can do. The number will fall.

Side note: I weighed in at 307.4 this morning, and I just stepped on the scale and got a 311.

The weight-loss God is testing me. I'll beat this.

The Burden of Reality

Sometimes, you just want to flip life the bird.

For the past few days, my workouts have been stale, my eating has been average, and my weight has been bouncing back and forth on a scale that I'm not so sure has been very accurate for me. For example, both yesterday and today I stepped on the scale and got fluctuating numbers. I'd step on it and get a 306, but then slide it over to the big 250 block instead of the 300 block and try to balance it out, and get roughly a 301 or 302.

The bottom line is, I need to get real numbers.

So, I went out and got a scale today. Calibrated, and figured that the number on the sliding gym scale may not match the number on the digital.

Reality hit me right in the face today when I stepped on the digital scale about 10 times tonight and got a fluctuation from 309 to 311. The cold hard facts are that I'm not as close to 300 as I thought.

But, taking the positive spin, since I've been on the same exact scale since November, I've STILL lost the 45 pounds that I've kept track of. That can't be taken away from me. It just seems as if my starting weight was higher than I had anticipated.

So, I'm going to remedy this tomorrow morning. I'm going to step on the scale when I wake up, and then again after step class (which will be about 90 minutes after I wake up), and then step on it again when I get home. If the numbers are about the same difference between each scale as they are now, I'll presume the accuracy, and start back with my actual numbers.

My "Fourth and X" number will stay the same, because I've still lost that much weight. As I said, it'll just be my starting number that'll go up, along with my current. So, that means I won't be hitting 299 this month.

This is very frustrating, but a natural part of the cycle that I have to accept.

Also, I've been struggling to drop the number again these past few days, so I did what I didn't really want to do. I went back to my graph, found the last time I was struggling with the weight, I checked for the last time I had a 'cheat' meal and studied my progress afterward. I had a large loss for about a week, so that's what I did today.

I had a double cheeseburger from McDonalds, a large fry and a McFlurry. About 1500 calories in one meal. I felt like crap all day because of it, and I've been physically ill most of the night for it. The good news is, my body knows the difference between healthy food and garbage, and is trying to reject the bad stuff. Hopefully, this will give my body the stimulus that it needs to really go for another push.

Frankly, I'm at the point where being over 300 just pisses me off. I've felt my attitude towards being 300+ go from an apathy, to a goal, to an annoyance. Every time I see that number stay put, I'm starting to get a bit angry about it.

So, whether I'm 303, 306, 309, or 311 tomorrow, that's what my number is. The only thing that I can do is channel that anger, and turn it into workout fuel.

I'll update the numbers on the tickers and such tomorrow accordingly.

Monday Weigh In - Stressed Out

Weigh In: 303.5
Five Day Average: 304.1

It's been an interesting few days. After getting a pretty big dip to 303, I've experienced a 4 day yo-yo, with weigh ins of 306, 303, 306, 303.5. My average dips to 304.1, which is definitely something I can't complain about, but with today's 303.5, that means I've got 7 days to drop 4 pounds. Probably not going to happen, but if it does, I'll be pretty pumped about it.

I'm starting to realize something about myself. I am constantly adding stresses and almost unattainable goals to my life. Between my school situation, my work situation, my home situation, my marriage, my friends, my weight loss goals.. it seems like I'm always setting deadlines and goals.

On one hand, it's great to set these goals because it gives me something to fight for. I mean, setting a goal of 2000 minutes of exercise a month has helped me some days, because when I'm about 40 minutes into a workout and I know in the back of my head that I need 65 to keep my average right, I'll go get 20 more minutes. I'm like that when it comes to my goals.

On the other hand, I've been feeling the pressures lately, and I think it's starting to get to me. For instance, this weekend I spent probably 15 hours on my feet, crawling around the house, up and down stairs, lifting, pushing.. you name it, working my ass off with my dad trying to put up ceiling fans, exhaust fans, new fixtures, mowing the lawn.. you get the idea.

While I'm doing this, here I am getting all pissed off and stressed out because I'm not in the gym 'clocking minutes for my goal'.

In my personal life, it's Finals week, so you can imagine THOSE stresses, and then you add to that my work schedule, and the goals that I set to 'overacheive' at work, and you've got a guy who (if I had hair) was pulling his hair out - and I feel like I'm adding extra stresses where there doesn't need to be stresses.

Such is life, I suppose. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it, but I thought I would just use this blog to vent about things. In the past, stresses have led to the whole emotional eating thing... and I've been able to keep away from that for the most part.

So, the breakdown:

I'm at 304.1 for my 5 day average with a few 306's coming off before the next weigh-in. My anniversary is a week from today, I've got 2 final exams this week, I need to take the car into the shop, I've got to finish a few projects around the house this week that we weren't able to get totally complete this week, I've got a full week of work, and I'm planning something for the anniversary.

Meanwhile, I'll be in the gym tomorrow morning for Step Aerobics class around 5:45am.

The moral of the story: "Life happens.. sure beats the alternative, doesn't it?"

Ceiling Fans and More

Weigh In: NONE Workout:
NONE (if you don't count being on your feet for 11 hours working on home improvement projects)

Today was a pretty productive day, if you don't count the fact that I haven't been able to work out all day, I only got 30 minutes yesterday, and it's going to be a real challenge to get any time in tomorrow. But, we did get a lot done in the house - we rewired our master bedroom, we installed a ceiling fan in the bedroom, we're rewiring the master bath, we put new fixtures into the guest bathroom, and we took three trips to Lowes. Hell, even my credit card got more of a workout than I did today.

The diet went well though, although I have to admit I was surprised. My dad and I went to a breakfast around 10:30 or so (egg substitute omelet and rye toast), but then I didn't end up eating until dinner because we were constantly moving. I did have a handful of peanut butter M&Ms, but it helped give me a sugar boost in the middle of the day that I desperately needed.

I'm not sure what to expect on the scale in the next weigh-in (hopefully tomorrow), and I hate missing the gym, but for what it's worth, today was pretty productive.

Hopefully I can at least report on a workout tomorrow instead of another day without.

... must come down!

Weigh In: 303 (new low!)
Workout Yesterday: 30 minutes, 1175 for April

Was pretty busy yesterday, so I wasn't able to blog, so here's a make-up for yesterday.

First and foremost, you see the weigh in. From 304 to 306 to 303 - the body doesn't know WHAT to do now that I'm getting close to 300. You can almost sense that it's got a mind of its own and it's struggling to stay about 300. It's funny, because my weigh-ins don't really flux a lot usually like some of you. Usually it holds out, and then drops.. and then holds out again.

Either way, I'll take the 303 - but I've got a feeling that it's not going to stick. You know those days where you just 'feel' heavy? It's one of those days today.

As for today, I'm not sure if/when I'm going to be able to workout, because my dad is coming over to show me how to install ceiling fans, run electrical wires, put in bathroom venting systems, the works. Me? I'm the professional, of course. You need a lightbulb changed? A bag of garbage taken out to the curb? I'm your man.

Time to learn how to do the fun stuff.

I'll report back in tonight, hopefully with a weigh-in.

What Goes Up...

Weight: 306
Workout: 65 minutes today, 1145 for April

Yup, the number jumped back up.

Gary and I did our Step Aerobics class for 45 minutes today - absolutely POUNDED me. But, because I'm trying to beat my exercise goal of 2000 minutes for April, I knew 45 wasn't enough for the day. So, even though I could have filled a gallon bucket full of sweat off of me, I went and did 20 more minutes on the Elliptical. Those 20 minutes left like I was running through 4 feet of snow. It was SO hard, but I accomplished it - first time I've been proud of my elliptical work in a long time.

After working out, that's when I hit the scale. Now, the weight went up - and it's frustrating. I just didn't feel like eating today. Long story made short, I didn't want to put a single calorie into my body. I ended up burning 1247 calories of exercise only today (not including the daily expenditure), but I only consumed 1225 calories. So, I was *WAY* too low today.

But that's ok. I know I should eat more, but I just wasn't up to it today. I had a few 2000+ calorie days this week, so there's nothing wrong with a day like this.

Tomorrow's FRIDAY, and the weekend couldn't be coming up sooner. I've got a ton of work to do on Saturday when it comes to work around the house, and Sunday's going to be just as busy, so I need to work incredibly hard this weekend - I think I'm going to see if there's another Step class this weekend.

So, the rush is on. I keep telling myself that "it's not important to hit the goal on time".. but I know I'm lying to myself.

299 or Bust.

So Close I Can Taste It

Weigh In: 304 (lowest yet!)
Workout: 45 minutes today, 1080 for April

First things first, you'll notice the weight has dropped 2 pounds to 304, the lowest weight so far on this journey. I'm getting closer to my 300, but the clock is ticking too - so as much as I want to be happy about this, it just pushes me a bit harder. I've noticed that I eat around 1900-2100 calories and hover, and then every few days I do ONE day of about 1500, and I get that weight drop. I don't know if it's luck or actually working, but I'll take the 2 pound drop any day.

I'm going to cut this one short, because I'm about 6 1/2 hours away from being in the gym for my next Step Aerobics class, so I'm hoping to get a few hours of sleep in.

Bottom line is, I've got 12 days to drop 5 pounds. I have to keep telling myself that it's not a big deal if I don't hit the goal when I want to, and that the important thing is that I eventually hit it, but I'd really, really like to be under 300 for my wedding anniversary.

So, 12 days of hard work and eating right it is.

Aerobics on a Somber Day

Virginia Tech - Never Forget
-----------------------------------

Weigh In: 306
Workout: 105 minutes today
(45 aerobic, 45 volleyball tonight, 15 bike ride),
1035 for April


It's 7:34am, and I'm back from the Step Aerobics class.

I made it through.

Barely.

It was probably the most intense 45 minutes I've ever spent on cardio, if not counting the boxing/sprinting I've done with Josh. The only difference is, when Josh is working me out, the male ego is on the line versus ANOTHER male. This time, it was me and Gary versus a bunch of women and old men.

For those of you who have never done step aerobics and want to get your heart rate up, finish up this blog (and make a comment *grin*), and then head to your local gym and see what it's all about. It's one of those things where you leave thinking "oh my god.. I can't do another minute of walking".. but then you get out of the shower and you're looking forward to doing it again.

Tomorrow's weight-lifting day, and then I think we're going to do another class on Thursday, and I'm making a big push for the end of this week. Not that I'm expecting it, but I'd SURE like to see another 5 pound drop out of nowhere this week - I've been sitting on the 306 mark (give or take) for the last six days..

Oh, and for anyone near Virginia Tech or affected by the shootings there yesterday, my prayers are with you. I don't want to get political in a weight loss blog, but my thoughts are in Virginia and with the families down there today.

Monday Weigh In

Weigh In: 306.5
Workout : 75 minutes, 930 for April
Five Day Average: 306.1

I was back in the gym this morning with Gary and we beat the crap out of those weights. By the end of the workout, neither one of us could move. Having a workout partner helps push me to the limits, and it's working out great.

Haven't eaten yet this morning (oops), but as soon as I'm done posting this, I'm going to sit my face right into a bowl of oatmeal, so I'll be just fine for the day.

So, here's my numbers:

306.1 - five day average. 3.9 - pounds lost this week, thanks to a huge drop in the middle of the week 6.2 - pounds remaining to get under 300 by the end of April

I've got exactly 2 weeks left, so I need to lose 3.1 a week to get there.

That's a lot of weight, so I'll be working EXTRA hard these next two weeks, with no slacking. In fact, Gary and I are going to try something that we've never done before. Tomorrow, we're going to try an aerobics step class. So, if I don't post tomorrow night, I may have died.

Here's to another great week!

On the seventh day.. he rested?

Weigh In: NONE
Workout: NONE

Not happy about reporting NO workout today, but there just simply wasn't any time in the day. From the time I woke up until now, it was a straight shot through the day. I suppose I can take a day off once in a while, but I don't like taking a day off when it's not on my OWN terms. Oh well, it happens.

Tomorrow's a big weigh-in day, I'll be resetting the blog tomorrow. Not much to report on, except for that I had dinner over a family friend's house (which was REALLY nice), but I have no idea on the calorie content. Probably somewhere around 2000ish, but I couldn't give an educated guess.

We'll see how the scale treats me in the morning after my 5:30am workout. Until then!

A Fun Day

Weigh In: 306
Workout: 90 today, 855 for April
Today was one of those super busy days that ended up being pretty damn fun. Then, since I was so busy, I barely had time to eat, but managed to get my calories up above 1700 for the day. I got up, went to help Gary with his blog (how to put pics up, etc), went to the gym, and ended up going to dinner with the family, and then bowling, and then to Karaoke. All in all, it was a good time.

It was cool too... because Gary and I were there, and the conversation seemed to revolve around 'healthy food' all night. Plenty of references, and when it came time to pick our meals at Chili's, great choices were made. I had the "Guiltless Chicken Platter" for 580 calories, and he had the blackened Salmon, so it was another good choice. It's much easier when you've got a teammate with you - you don't want to be "that guy" to be the one to break the diet, so you guys just do what you have to do. Very cool.

Not much else to report except that it was a fun day. After working so hard this past week, it was good to get out of the house and spend the time with the family. I felt bad yesterday because Erin REALLY wanted to go out last night, but I was completely drained and her Friday was spent watching me fall asleep, so hopefully tonight made up for it.

Monday's the next weigh-in, and as long as I keep doing what I need to do, it looks to be pretty productive. Have to work out sometime tomorrow, as timing is going to be tough, and then Monday's the official blog changing day. Until then!

Wiped Out

Yesterday's Weigh In: 306
Workout: 80 minutes yesterday, 775 for April

I didn't blog yesterday and it was the first day I haven't done so in a LONG time. The reason? I was completely exhausted. I had nothing left. It was a long week, and on a Friday night, it was 9:30am and I was ready for bed. Usually I stay up late on Friday night, Erin and I go out and do something fun, and last night, I apparently turned 80 years old. I was out for the count.

It's definitely taking its toll on me working out at 5:30am every morning. I used to work out around 7:30, 8:00.. and 5:30 is a completely different world. Its one of those things that I DREAD when the alarm goes off at 4:45, but when I'm walking out of the gym at 7:00 and I've got my workout done and I'm ready for my day, I feel like a million bucks. Plus, having a workout partner is worth its weight in gold, so it's something that is TOTALLY worth it. My body just needs to adjust to it. Last night, I don't remember being so tired in my life.

So, we went to Mountain Jacks last night, and going into dinner, I didn't have even a thousand calories counted. I ended up eating pretty healthy (this is a place where the diet could fly out the window), but I did manage to get over 2000 calories yesterday. It's a complete estimate, because I couldn't find Mountain Jacks on a calorie counter, but I had a dry chicken breast with red skin potatoes, a mushroom gravy (that I put on the side and regulated instead of having poured onto the top), and a good salad to go with it. Tasted awesome.

Another pretty good day. I definitely needed this weekend though, I'm exhausted. Woke up at 10:30am this morning, I NEVER do that. Well earned, I suppose.

Almost Friday

Weigh In: 307
Workout: 70 today, 695 for April

First things first, I had a third article published. You'll notice it to the right, the top article. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Today I was at the gym at 5:30am again with Gary. We make a pretty good team. Gary's coming along pretty well, and by 'training' him, I'm starting to look at it from a long term goal. I see where I came from, and where I need to go, and it's working out well. We'll be back at it tomorrow morning, bright and early at 5:30am again - tomorrow's a ton of cardio, so it'll be tough but worthwhile.

As for my weight, I'm glad to see that it didn't rocket back up to 311. Perhaps I may be able to keep that big gain, as Josh said, because of the glycemic changes that I've been making. My calories have been pretty low, so I should get those up, but weight has been melting off, so I'm afraid to make TOO many drastic changes. I did get my calories up to just under 1700 today, which is an improvement over the past two.

The bottom line is, I may have broken that mini-plateau, but I won't know for a few days.

Tomorrow's Friday, which means today's weigh-in was the first that will account for my 5-day average on Monday. Let's make it a great one.

Big Day In Tucksville

Weigh In: 306 (new low!)
Workout: 60 minutes today, 585 for April

A few huge things for me today. First and foremost, my weight. I dropped 5 pounds from yesterday to today. A few factors to this, I'm thinking. First off, I usually weigh in during the early morning, and today's weigh in was around 8pm. Second off, I was WAY down on calories today going into my workout - probably around 700 or so for the day, so that may have accounted for it. I'm telling myself not to get TOO high about it, because a jump like that will usually work itself out tomorrow.

I actually got onto the scale, got the scale to balance out, and immediately thought that I did something wrong. I stepped off the scale, and got back on and tried it again. A second time it worked, so I got back off, and tried it a third time. I could hardly believe.

Either way, I'm pretty damn happy about it.

The second bit of news is, for those of you who get the calorie-count.com newsletter every month, I made my first mass appearance. A few articles that I have written, including "Rob's Story" which I wrote yesterday, and "Up Against a Wall? Break through it!", have been published and were featured in this month's newsletter. I'm pretty proud of that, and I'm hoping that when people read them, they're moved by them. I've been thinking a lot about where this journey started from lately, and when I emailed the site about writing for them and Igor (the site owner) asked me about writing, I was MORE than proud.

I've put them as new links on the right, you'll find them over there ----->

Also, I've done a bit of work on the blog in terms of redesigning it. I also put a bit of time into Gary's too, and I think I'll keep tinkering with them until I get them exactly how we want them, but I think that's just part of the journey - just like our bodies, the blogs will change with us.

Ok, time for bed. It's past 11pm, and I'm in the gym at 5:30am, working with Gary. Until next time, let's hope that that 306 decides to stick around (or get lower, of course!)

Catch PBS at 9pm Tonight!

There's a show on that I think we all should watch. It's on PBS at 9:00pm tonight.

This is the description that I get:

“FAT: What No One Is Telling You”.
Meredith Vieira narrates a human scale exploration of America’s obesity crisis and the complexities of regulating our weight. In one surprising twist, it turns out our stomachs have a mind of their own. The head might try to say no-no to cheeseburgers and cookies, but the unruly tummy says yum-yum

Not sure if you've heard about it, so I thought I'd throw it out there in case you're interested.

Slow and Steady

Weigh In: 311.
Workout: 90 today, 525 for April

First off, I'm a bit frustrated. The last four days have represented a gradual increase in my weight. 309.5, 310, 310.5, and today a 311. I'm going the wrong way.

I'm not getting bent out of shape over it, but I'm just going to continue to do what I've been doing. Work out right, eat right, live right. It's all you can ask, right? Today I was actually LOW on my calories.. I'm talking like 1121 calories, but I'm still feeling 'blah' because of what all I ate this weekend. It's not like I'm trying to avoid food - I'm discovering lower calorie foods that taste better, and keep you hungry longer (thank you glycemic index!). So, instead of a bowl of cereal that goes through me in 2 seconds, it's oatmeal for half the calories (400 vs. 150). Instead of a granola bar, it's a hard boiled egg. Small details, big results. I'm just hoping to start seeing it on the scale again.

In the meantime, I'm silently wondering what the scale is going to read, day to day. I'm starting to get the same feeling that I did in February when the scale decided to not budge for 21 days straight. I want SO BAD to get under 300 by my anniversary at the end of the month, but there is that voice in the back of my head that keeps saying, "Don't worry about WHEN you hit it.. just hit it". It's the voice of reason.

Poop on reason, though. I want to get under 300. Last week, I said I didn't 'earn' it. This week, I plan on ending strong, breaking this mini-plateau, and EARNING it.

We Are Family

I already blogged today, but I wanted to put this up.

Please welcome the newest member of the Coalition.. my cousin, Gary. He's the good looking kid on the left. I, of course, sit on the right - proudly displaying my trendy brown flannel. This picture was taken in 1981.

And this is his blog:

http://backinmytreestand.blogspot.com/

It's one thing to have friends and online buddies supporting me, but it's a whole new level when I've got family fighting this fight by my side. Do me a BIG favor, and please support him the way you do me. It'll mean a lot to me.

Oh, and Gary.. see you at 5:30am tomorrow for a *REAL* cardio workout. You'll feel this one.

Tuck the Destroyer

Weigh In: 310.5
Workout: 75 minutes, 435 for April

I'm posting early, because I want to get my numbers all together on Monday.

First things first, I worked out with my cousin Gary this morning. As he hasn't worked out in a few years, I became a trainer today. I am actually pretty proud of myself, because I've actually learned a ton about this stuff, and took everything that Josh has taught me these past few months, and I've begun to pass it down to Gary. Form, weights, diet, you name it.. we went over it, and we'll continue to go over it.

It feels like it's coming full circle. I didn't lose the weight I wanted to this week, but as they say - shit happens. I got what I earned, which was a meager weight loss that I'm still happy about, but I didn't get a "HUGE" weight loss, because, quite frankly, I didn't earn it. And I'm OK with that.

So, here's some more numbers for you.

Weigh In Average: 310.00

I lost 1.8 pounds this week. I'm off target to get under 300 for the month, but that follows a week where I took 2 days off and didn't eat the greatest. I'll take the 1.8 pounds in a heartbeat.

I'm also starting to consume 64 ounces of water a day at least, and it's helping to keep me filled up, and that helps too.

But, note-to-self: if you're going to start drinking water early in the morning, make sure that you don't have a 2 hour lecture to sit through at class. Make sure you ALWAYS have access to the restroom, or you'll be bouncing your leg up and down for 2 hours straight.

Does that count as burned calories?

Happy Easter

Weigh In: NONE

Ok, today was pretty much a wash, I'll be honest about it. I ate like crap. It wasn't a matter of eating the 'wrong' things, but it was eating WAY too much of the stuff that is ok. I did stray, but I didn't really fall OFF the wagon, although my feet were a-danglin'.

So, I chalk today up as one of those days. Little irritated about it, but it's a holiday and my willpower wasn't as strong as I would have liked it.

The good news is, I'm in the gym at 7am with Gary, my cousin. He asked me tonight about joining the Coalition, so he will be joining soon. I'll be helping him create a page, and you're going to get a kick out of him.

I'm going to cut this short, but here's my bottom line:

I don't feel good about my weigh-in tomorrow. Tomorrow's the day where I change the blog name, and frankly, I haven't earned it the past few days. There's not a single reason why the number should go down tomorrow morning.

Just more motivation to work my ass off tomorrow in the gym. I'll report in when I get my numbers in. Until then, hope ya'll had a great holiday weekend!

It's All In The Details

Weigh In: 310
Workout: 45 today, 360 for April

I had a pretty good workout, and then met with Josh the Destroyer for lunch. It gave me another good push, and I learned a ton. Basically, I'm changing up my workout again, this time focusing more on a 'full body' workout, using more dumbbells than bars and machines, and my cardio is going from timed distance (45/60 minutes a day) to High Intensity Training, something a lot of you guys use.

Also, a good thing to talk about today is the family Easter party. My side of the family had our dinner tonight, as my wife's family will be tomorrow night. Tonight, everyone was mentioning how good I looked. Now, I think part of it was because my dad had mentioned it to other family members that I've been working so hard, and I think a few of the comments were out of 'requirement' - people I wouldn't expect to hear it from, but either way, I'll take it. It felt good.

So, I was talking to my cousin, and he was telling me how he has been wanting to get back in the gym, and that he 'really should' drop about 60. He's not out-of-control by any means, but he's starting to pack a gut - the man likes his Jack and Cokes. Long story made short, I told him to put his money where his mouth is, and I now have a new workout partner. We're working out together at 7am on Monday, and I plan on working out with him 3-4 times a week. Great news.

So, that's about it. I did really well resisting the temptations of a family gathering dinner, all the 'good for your belly, bad for your health' food. I had ham, pickles and a roll. Very healthy, kept me where I needed to be, and I've got 2 more weigh-ins before I officially change the blog title. Until next time, Happy Easter to those who celebrate, and to those that don't, happy rest-of-your-weekend!

Good Friday

Weigh In: 309.5 (new low!)
Workout: 30 today, 325 for April
Water Consumed: 64 ounces

By looking at today's weigh-in, it's appropriate that this is "Good Friday", at least it was for me.

Tomorrow afternoon, Josh and I are getting together for lunch to talk about a more direct eating plan, and setting up a schedule of workouts for me. I'm tending to work REALLY hard when he's around, and when it's just me, I do some cardio and call it a day. I need to refocus on challenging myself, even when I don't feel "up" to it. Tomorrow will be another good day for me.

Tonight, the family-in-laws had us over to decorate Easter Eggs, watch the Detroit Tigers, and have dinner. They had pizza, and instead of being tempted by it, I went out and got a dinner that was calorically (is that a word?) healthy for me. So, score one for me.

Also, Kev was talking how a while back he didn't workout, but noticed that he was losing weight and he thought that drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day helped him flush out the fats - so I'm going to try that too. I got myself one of those huge honkin' 64 ounce water jugs, and I'm going to focus on drinking my share of water. I did it today.. 64 ounces is a TON (ok, Half Gallon) of water.

So far, so good.

Look Familiar?

Ok, so this made me laugh so hard I almost cried. Not an 'official' post, but one I thought we could relate to.

Back on Track

Weigh In: 311.0 (lowest yet!)
Calories Consumed: 1941
Calories Burned: 4832
Workout: 115 today, 295 for April

This past week has taught me, or rather reminded me, why it's so important to have a support group during this process. First off, this weekend was very big for me. I turned 30, I had a big BBQ party, friend and family were around, and I was in my glory.

I think I've been able to refocus. For a while now, it wasn't a matter of 'motivation' to succeed, but that fire. That determination was starting to lack. And that bothered me. I need to be able to wake up every day with a ball of fire and just rock whatever I need to do. I found myself taking shortcuts, both in the diet and in the exercise. I was 'settling' for something less than my final goal.

I needed something to really focus on. After talking to Josh, I'm going to work closer with the diet. So, instead of just looking at a final 'caloric count' for the day, I'm going to work towards a 'training' diet. It's not a 'diet', but a smarter way to eat. For example, instead of 450 calories in a bowl of Captain Crunch, I'm going to work towards organic oatmeal and an egg. Just a re-modification of what MAKES sense - a new drive towards what creates a healthy lifestyle. I mean, I KNOW that Captain Crunch (just for an example) isn't the greatest breakfast - but hell, it's kept me within my caloric count. Just like I know that a good bowl of Campbell's soup is only about 280 calories - but it packs over 1000 on my sodium.

So, April is a matter of improvement. Take what I've learned, and make it better.

For what it's worth, I worked out with Josh today again, and he's got me doing things that I never thought were possible. I did SUICIDES today. If you don't know what those are, let's just say that they're correctly named. Also, I'm working more with dumbbells (and I'm not just talking about at work), and less with machines and bars. I'm feeling more stability, and my core is improving.

So for those of you who were concerned, thank you for caring. Let's get into those 200's now, shall we?

Roar - Restored!

Weigh In: 313
Calories Consumed: 1379
Calories Burned: 4300
Workout: 30 today, 210 for April

I went on this big diatribe yesterday about my lack of motivation, and between this blog and the other that I post, I got some great comments from you guys. I think I gave off the wrong impression though. I know Erin (my wife) and others were concerned about me "giving up", and I just wanted to make sure you guys knew that giving up was never a worry of mine. I'm in this for the long haul. Just yesterday, I was feeling a bit down on myself.

See, I'm someone that you may have noticed only has two speeds - off, and full speed. I've taken this challenge of weight loss seriously this time, and will NOT settle for anything but the maximum. I've proven that I can do this.

My problem lately looking back, is that I've felt so unorganized. I don't know if it was the act of turning 30, or just the fact that this week has been so hectic that my daily schedule has been off. I mean - don't get me wrong, I'm DEFINITELY not complaining - my wife threw me an amazing surprise party a few weeks ago, and I've got tickets for three events - I went to the Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions on Saturday, we had a big BBQ and Wrestlemania party on Sunday, tonight we went to the Pistons game (ouch.. we got spanked), and I'm going to the Detroit Tiger's game with my brother tomorrow. I'm definitely a lucky guy.

I've just felt .. uneven. My diet was comprimised because of my schedule, and it frustrated me, because it's something *I* control. Over the past few months, I've learned that it's ME that controls my decisions in regards to food, and not my situation, or what is in front of me. The last few days - I've given myself excuses to not eat the best choices - and I was angry at myself.

So, in typical fashion, I punished myself. I've recorded 1379 calories for today, but that includes a dinner salad that "has dressing". I didn't have the dressing, so I'm guessing that realistically, I'm somewhere around 1100 for the day. Yes - on a typical day, that's WAY too few for me. But food has pissed me off lately. I looked at food today and felt angry about it. It sounds stupid - but in this challenge to get down to 250, *I* have controlled food, and I resented that it's controlled me.

So I showed it who's boss.

Tomorrow's another fun day for me. I have a workout with Josh the Destroyer at 8am, and then I took the day off of work to go to the Tiger's game. I plan on eating RIGHT, and doing what I need to do.

My motivation is strong. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, and my head is back on straight.

Oh, and Jimbo.. I know you're reading this. You better get some good running shoes, because you're going to be on this train with me sooner than you realize.

Pulling My Hair Out

Weigh In: NONE
Calories Consumed: 2343
Calories Burned: 4110
Workout: 60 today, 180 for April

There's a few things I've been thinking about lately.

First off, I hinted towards this before, but it's really been on my mind. I turned 30 this past weekend, and all of a sudden, thoughts are swirling through my mind. Part of me feels like I've made this huge transition into another part of my life, just because my age went up a number, but the other part of me feels like nothing has changed. I'm not sure what it is, but I don't feel the same as I was last week. My emotions have been up and down, my dedication has gone back and forth, and feelings of doubt have snuck in lately.

Today's a great example.

First off, my shoulders and every single upper body muscle has been killing me since I worked out hard with Josh the Destroyer two days ago. I mean - SORE. A good sore, but damn if it's not a constant reminder every time I move. Second off, I've been drifting away on the diet. I mean, I'm staying on point with the total calories - but I'm eating more than I should. Just stupid calories - some of the old habits.

For example, today I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Par for the course. I was supposed to go to the gym, but because I haven't been feeling too strong, I skipped it. Blamed it on being sore. Then, I went and had a SECOND bowl of cereal. Just stupid. I wanted it, I ate it.

Then, I did well with the diet all day. But, I was starving, and had food on my mind all day - and felt like the old days. Then, at work there were Hershey kisses. I had 3. Sure, no big deal, right? But it's something that I had no interest in a few days ago, and here I am popping them. And when I get home, there were brownies from my party a few days ago, and sure as hell, I ate two of them. I had seconds on dinner, even though I wasn't hungry. I just wanted food.

I don't know what the hell's going on in my head, but I need to get it straight.

Maybe I'm just thinking too hard. It seems like, ever since I turned 30 - I'm overthinking everything. Why haven't I hit my goals that I set for myself when I turned 20? Why am I not out of school? Why haven't I hit my weight loss goals? Why haven't I done everything that I've wanted to do?

I know, it's irrational. I'm on the right track, and I know what you guys are thinking. "You're almost done with school". "You have taken control of your health and you're on the right track". "Your 30s are when life starts".

I know it, but I still get this frustrating bout of depression about it. Nothing major, but it's in my head.

I know this isn't much about weight loss tonight, but it's all about motivation. I just don't feel as motivated the past few days as I have in the past. I need to get out of this rut - and I need to do it now. Stop crying, stop the pity party, put away the dress and just go for it.

But how?

A Mental Whirlwind

Weigh In: 312.5
Calories Consumed: 2448
Calories Burned: 4845 .
Workout: 90 minutes today, 120 for April

There's been a lot on my mind lately, and when I actually get some quality time to put it down in a blog, I'm going to. It's been so busy lately, I actually SKIPPED a blog last night - it didn't feel right not blogging, but that's how it's been.

I had a major workout tonight - 80 minutes with Josh. I was at the gym at 6:45am, and as I type this at 9;30pm, I'm still sore. I feel like I'm starting to take extra steps in my workout - and I'm starting to reap the benefits, but the last few days haven't been great on the diet. I need to refocus, and really get to where I need to be.

It's interesting - I've been thinking a lot about hitting 30, and I don't know if this is all in my head or not, but I feel like the second I turned 30, I entered a whole new stage of my life. It's hard to explain, but as I said earlier, I'll try to do it later. I don't have the time or energy to really go into everything that's in my head lately.

The bottom line is, I'm in the middle of a journey. Some things have completely changed, and yet most are still the same.

It's April now, so you'll see that I changed my tickers in my profile to reflect that. I got to 1580 minutes of working out in March, so I want to improve upon that in April. I also need to find that 'niche' for April that I have in the past. I need to find that 'improvement'. It seems every month I find that one new tactic - last month was calorie-counting - to take me to the next level.

Either way, I'm so close to 299 I can taste it. Yet, just like when I was stuck at 330 for 21 days, and when I was at 350 - I still can't picture it. I can't imagine me.. weighing less than 300. I want to, and I dream of it.. but the Inner Fat is telling me that it can't be done. I obviously CAN.. and *WILL* do it, but there's that shadow of doubt inside me - something I have to fight off.

To everyone who blogs as well, I'm sorry that I haven't commented in a few days - as I said, it's been insane. I'll be getting to you all in the morning.

Here's to a VERY successful April.

March: ACCOMPLISHED. Up Next: April

Weigh In: 312

Calories Consumed: 2571
Calories Burned: 4927
Workout: 75 today, March ends at 1580 (420 minutes shy of goal)
Five Day Average: 311.8

March is over. Let's recap.

I wanted to get to 313 pounds, losing a total of 12 pounds. I got to 311.8, losing a total of 13.2 pounds. Check.

I wanted to exercise 2000 minutes in March. I came up short, but I think that 1580 minutes is a pretty good total. It's almost 51 minutes of exercise a day, if you base it on working out ALL 31 days. I took 3 days off this month, so my 'daily' average in March came up to 56.4 minutes - not too shabby.

Also this month, I fit into a size 44 pants instead of a 48, a 2x shirt instead of a 4x, and had to buy a new belt, because my other one was WAY too big for me.

So what's the bottom line?

March is a success.

April WILL be a success. And this is what I'm going to do.

I'm going to try to get to 2000 minutes again this month.
I'm going to lose 12 pounds again. This will put me below 300 pounds.
I'm going to continue counting calories.
I'm going to add at least 2 days a week where I do extra-curricular exercise OUTSIDE of the gym.

These goals will get me below 300 pounds, and also supplement my exercise minutes, helping me raise above 2000 minutes of exercise for April.

My wedding anniversary is April 30th, the last day of the month. I've got so much to celebrate - being under 300 for my wife by that date is very important to me. March proved something to me: hard work, organization and dedication combined will WIN the battle. Win enough battles, and you'll win the war.

I've got other things on my mind.. something someone said tonight that really got me thinking, but there's a lot already here - I'll save that for tomorrow. Until then!