I talked to Kevin tonight, Erin's been on me, a few of you have asked, and I've been wondering myself.
Why haven't I blogged?
I don't know. I just have been dragging ass and feeling completely motivated. This is the tough, yet confusing, part for me.
I work out SEVEN days a week. I play basketball on Tuesdays, softball the past few Saturdays, go for runs, bike rides with my wife - I'm active. I'm REALLY active, and I feel great about it.
But my eating is piss poor. And I don't mean 'cheat' meals. I eat the right stuff. I'm just eating a LOT of it. My serving sizes are WAY too big - I go back for seconds when I don't want them, I pick all day, I grab all the snacky shit at work and at school. Kid at school offers me a brownie? Sure, pass it along. Work has cake for someone's birthday? Pass it to me.
I *NEVER* fell into that. My problem was always the fast food and the bad stuff in large quantities. Now, it seems like I'm always hungry, and I've fallen back into the thing where I start thinking about the next meal the MOMENT this one's done. I'm falling back into these old feelings of weakness and self doubt, and I really don't like myself right now.
I've seen everything form 268 to 282 these past two weeks. It's infuriating. Right now, I'm somewhere in the middle. Hell, I've even been avoiding my SCALE. And for those of you who have read my blog more than once, you know how much I'm obsessed by that damn thing.
Either way, maybe it's turning around. I got two hours of GOOD basketball in tonight, and I came home wanting to eat (of course). Instead, it's gatorade and that's it. Softball is starting up, and I got my "Race for the Cure" packet in the mail. 5k race at the end of the month - I should start preparing and getting in the mood for it.
So - hang in there with me. I know, this is the same old story. It's just a matter of picking myself up - slapping myself in the face to get rid of the pity party, and moving forward. At least the active lifestyle is winning. Now, I need the healthy eating lifestyle part to be figured out. Keep pushing me.
5 comments:
I'd been noticing that I was allowing myself to hit rut too. So I decided to stop it.
Food has always been one of those things for me. Now, I decided I need to stay slightly hungry all the time, and perhaps that will kick things up for me.
That's why I'm back to counting calories. I track them as well as I can throughout the day, then when I come home I know exactly how much I have left. I eat that much, then I'm done for the day. Still hungry? I have a glass of Crystal Light iced tea and go to bed. It works. It's so easy to go over when you're not paying attention to the little stuff.
I agree with what geoff said, and it is something I definatly need to start doing again.
I don't know if you're like this or not, but for me, when I'm more active I talk myself into allowing myself eating more and having some crappy food. It is one of my traps, I feel like I deserve it when i really don't.
Keep in there though Rob!
Hang in there Rob.... As long as you dont give up you can never loose.
Start counting your calories again and dig down deep and push through. This stuff ain't easy, but I know you can do it...and you know you can do it. So just do it already! ;)
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