Explanation

Weigh In: 281.4

I figured I'd offer up an explanation for what I've been doing lately. It's hard to really go at something like weight loss for almost two years now and do it consistently and full speed ahead.

I started this in November of 2006. I weighed 379 pounds back then. I had lost control of my life, I felt like a shut-in who was unable to really do anything because I felt like a complete loser. I wasn't athletic, my eating was uncontrolable. For those of you who weren't around when I described my "typical eating day" back in 2006, it went something like this - with NO exaggeration.

Breakfast: 4 McGriddles, 3 hash brown and a large orange juice.
Lunch: 4 double cheeseburgers, large fry, a few pies and a large mountain dew.
Mid-day: Chocolate bars, ice cream - and on the way home, yes -2-3 double cheeseburgers.
Dinner: Healthy dinner that my wife made, because I was ashamed to talk about what I had done during the day.

I think we calculated something like 7000-8000 calories PER DAY.

Per *DAY*.

So when I look back at that, I know that I've come a long way. But the reality is, I've got a long way to go. I still have 50-60 pounds that I would like to lose. I know that when I'm doing this, I have to be at 100% concentration and 100% FULL DESIRE to get this done - a lot like how I was in the past, and a lot like a many of you are doing right now.

But I got tired of the grind. Doing this 7 days a week in the gym, eating perfect, recording calories, all the sacrifices that go along with it - it wears you out mentally. And when you add my schedule and other personal stresses that consume one's life in a way that takes your focus off of anything else you have on your plate .. weight loss becomes secondary.

For a while, I took that hard. I couldn't understand WHY I couldn't get geared up. I couldn't get why I would go one day balls out, and then just cave in and have crap for dinner.

It's because I needed a break.

So, I'm taking a break - but it's MUCH different than before. I'm not counting calories - and today was the first time I went to the gym in about 4-5 days - and that's saying something for me.

But unlike in the past, I'm not regaining all of my weight on my break. I'm slipping into neutral, trying to stay around the same weight as I can, not lose too much ground, and get my head into it. It's the only way that I can be truly honest with myself about where I am, what I need, and how I'm going to get there.

Soon, I'll be 100% again. Sooner than later, you'll see me talking about the runs, the gym workouts, the perfect eating streaks.. all of that. But right now, I'm recharging the batteries. Now, I'm not going crazy. I'm eating right. Perhaps not the ideal eating conditions for weight loss, but for maintaining, I'm doing ok. Workouts are a little more sporadic, but that comes with an everchanging schedule. That'll be resolved soon too.

This may sound like a big excuse to some of you, but this is how it is with me right now. It's the mindset I'm in. I'm not in fifth gear, but I'm not in reverse. Think of it was sitting in line waiting to fill the tank up at the gas station, except minus the $4+ gas prices.

I'm still here, and for what it's worth, I check the blog a few times daily to see if any comments have come in. I'm VERY ... let me repeat .. *VERY* honored and appreciative that you guys are on me, and not giving up on me. It's what I need, and I hope that my mentality right now doesn't get you down on me. I'm still going to blog, and yes - I do need to do that more often. It doesn't take but a few minutes to blog every day. I'll do better on this.

So, hope everyone is doing well. Forward and onward, right? I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing well, I haven't fallen off the bandwagon, and in fact, have lost 2 pounds since the last time I blogged. I'll get back sooner this time. Thanks!