It's funny - usually, when I see that I haven't blogged here in a while, that usually means that something is wrong, or I'm avoiding something. But tonight, there's good news.
I've mentioned my joining the Red Sea - the running group out of Joplin. These guys have been amazing. Supportive, helpful - and just flat out motivating.
I was given the honor of being able to speak to the group of 160 tonight. While I wished I had an hour to talk about the rises and falls of my life and share the full testimony of how I've gotten to where I was, I was blessed by being able to share a shred of it.
I did something I haven't done in many, many years tonight. Our goal was to TOLL (time on lungs and legs) for 1.25 miles today. Run, walk, whatever - just move. In the past, I've been a walker that throws a salt's taste of jogging into the mix. Last week, I was able to go about .44 miles without stopping. I told myself I wanted to do the 1/2 mile without stopping.
Our track is 1/4 mile - so, easy math says that would be 2 rounds. My legs were on fire by the end of the second one, but I was talking to God the entire time. Asking for strength for just one more lap. And he gave it to me. 3/4 mile.
Then, something happened.
As I got to the end of that, I thought to myself - .. "heck, only one more lap and that's a MILE."
So I did it. Legs on fire.
And then I thought.. the job was only to go 1.25 miles.. "can I do that?"
So I did it. Legs in a scorching inferno.
And THEN I thought.. could I go above and beyond? Could I go an even 1 1/2 miles... non stop... jogging the ENTIRE time?
...
And then I did it.
Lava legs.
So, I've officially been able to do just under half a 5k nonstop. I can't remember the last time, if ever, I've been able to do that.
I was talking to Tom tonight afterwards, and he said something that really got me thinking. He said that when pain is above fear, failure is possible. It's not until fear overtakes pain where success happens.
I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to fail my little babies, and my wife. I'm scared that by the time I'm forty, I won't be able to walk. Or talk. Or have my heart beat.
I am ready to fight that fear. Perhaps that's what has been missing this entire time.
In the words of the Red Sea ... DRAGO!
@QUITquitting
2 comments:
Hey man, I'm a regular Anonymous Joe who stumbled across, and read your stockpile of blogs. Let me tell you, it was pretty inspiring for a while there.
Then everything went to crap. I'd ask "what happened" but you pretty much spelled it out on these pages. It's all a real "rise and fall" story. Not to minimize your struggles but Scarface immediately comes to mind.
Anyway, you're a pretty good writer...maybe even a borderline great one. So is Billy, and so is Kevin. In the end, the Coalition's ability to tell compelling stories really kept me engaged in a way that few other internet blogs have. Everything you've written would make for a pretty sizzling memoir. If you haven't considered writing one, maybe it's time to do so.
But there's a problem. You see, it ends on the fall. The crumbling of the kingdom you'd built. Nobody likes a story that ultimately compels them to play in traffic.
Maybe Scarface was a bad analogy. You know, at the end, I was sort of glad to see Tony get his. To see his empire fall. After all, he alienated everyone close to him, and even killed his best friend. You're different. I didn't want to see you get blasted with fat-bullets and fall head over ass over a balcony into a marble fountain filled with butter. You see, I was rooting for you. I was fine with how Scarface ended. The end here, on this blog, frickin sucks.
You can change that. You can battle those addictions. You can write an end to your story that doesn't involve three double cheeseburgers beating you into submission like a Colombian hit squad.
Anyway, if you decide to tackle your problem once and for all, we'll be reading.
The mind is an incredibly powerful thing. Tap into that SHEER WILL that lays within it, and resides in all of us, even if in small amounts.
And most importantly,lean on God. Get on your knees, beg for direction. Read Isaiah 40:31. And remember, In Christ ALL THINGS are possible.
Peace!
PS - I've got an addiction as well (man, that sounds creepy...don't worry, it's nothing illegal). But yeah, it's a thorn in my side I've never been able to remove. If you decide to shake your addiction, and I read about it here, maybe some Anonymous Joe in the Internet ether will finally decide to shake his.
Man, I just saw this, and I'm not sure if you'll see it or not.
I have been fighting this denial for a long time, and about 2 minutes before I found out that I had a comment on here, I was going back and looking at this blog. I'm an emotional mess, and frankly, have gained more than everything back.
I've been looking for inspiration.
I found it in your post.
In fact, just a few minute ago I told my wife that I needed to call a friend of mine and ask him to be an accountability partner, something I've been needing to do.
It's time to start my third act.
I thank you, my Anonymous Joe friend. I hope you stay tuned.
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