Weigh In: NONE
Calories Consumed: 2343
Calories Burned: 4110
Workout: 60 today, 180 for April
There's a few things I've been thinking about lately.
First off, I hinted towards this before, but it's really been on my mind. I turned 30 this past weekend, and all of a sudden, thoughts are swirling through my mind. Part of me feels like I've made this huge transition into another part of my life, just because my age went up a number, but the other part of me feels like nothing has changed. I'm not sure what it is, but I don't feel the same as I was last week. My emotions have been up and down, my dedication has gone back and forth, and feelings of doubt have snuck in lately.
Today's a great example.
First off, my shoulders and every single upper body muscle has been killing me since I worked out hard with Josh the Destroyer two days ago. I mean - SORE. A good sore, but damn if it's not a constant reminder every time I move. Second off, I've been drifting away on the diet. I mean, I'm staying on point with the total calories - but I'm eating more than I should. Just stupid calories - some of the old habits.
For example, today I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Par for the course. I was supposed to go to the gym, but because I haven't been feeling too strong, I skipped it. Blamed it on being sore. Then, I went and had a SECOND bowl of cereal. Just stupid. I wanted it, I ate it.
Then, I did well with the diet all day. But, I was starving, and had food on my mind all day - and felt like the old days. Then, at work there were Hershey kisses. I had 3. Sure, no big deal, right? But it's something that I had no interest in a few days ago, and here I am popping them. And when I get home, there were brownies from my party a few days ago, and sure as hell, I ate two of them. I had seconds on dinner, even though I wasn't hungry. I just wanted food.
I don't know what the hell's going on in my head, but I need to get it straight.
Maybe I'm just thinking too hard. It seems like, ever since I turned 30 - I'm overthinking everything. Why haven't I hit my goals that I set for myself when I turned 20? Why am I not out of school? Why haven't I hit my weight loss goals? Why haven't I done everything that I've wanted to do?
I know, it's irrational. I'm on the right track, and I know what you guys are thinking. "You're almost done with school". "You have taken control of your health and you're on the right track". "Your 30s are when life starts".
I know it, but I still get this frustrating bout of depression about it. Nothing major, but it's in my head.
I know this isn't much about weight loss tonight, but it's all about motivation. I just don't feel as motivated the past few days as I have in the past. I need to get out of this rut - and I need to do it now. Stop crying, stop the pity party, put away the dress and just go for it.
But how?
12 comments:
Wow....been there Rob...turning 30 brought the whole "nothing has changed, but everything has changed" to me too.
As for motivation, I am not sure. Do you cook much at home, or does Erin do most of it? Wondering, because I find sometimes, just the preparation of a meal kills a lot of that "want" factor, leaving me more with just the need to refuel when I sit down. Also, if you spend some time, looking up, or even creating on your own, some new recipes that fit into your daily goals of healthy eating, changing things up with the new stuff might be enough of a change to get re-motivated.
Also...I know you can picture yourself before your great success...but have you ever tried picturing yourself gradually putting all that weight back on? I mean, really thinking oh, my face looks a little fuller, the shirts a little tighter...kind of imagining yourself slipping back into old habits...perhaps picturing that transformation of back stepping might kick start things too.
I'm no expert...just thinkin' for ya.
Hang in there, don't give up. Ok...that was too nice...let me try again.
Rob get your ass moving, forget the damn chocolate and don't you dare screw up everything you've worked so hard for or I'll kick your ass...right after Erin, your dad, the rest of your family, Josh, the others in your blogging community, etc...takes a few shots at ya!
Nancy
We need to sit down and take your eating to the next level. Just like your exercise going to the next level, your eating should progress as well. i never want you to be hungry, ever if possible. i want to start working with you on when to eat, not just how much so we can maximize your progress. we got this homie; its just a number. you stick with this, and with me and i promise you on my career that you will feel the youngest you ever have. much love.
I haven't been through the 30 thing yet (give it a couple years), so I'm not going to pretend I know what I'm talking about and give advice I have no right giving. I will say I've completely been where you are with the diet. It starts small. A Chinese dinner here, a couple slices of pizza there, a candy bar here. There are a couple things to keep in mind, though. A) You realize you're reverting (somewhat) to old habits. You have the power to control that. You've proven it by losing over 35 pounds. 35 pounds, Rob! B) A little "bad" every now and then won't hurt you. In fact, it will probably do more good than harm. If you deprive your body of occasional treats, you're going to snap and binge on every piece of bad food you can shove in your mouth!
Don't beat yourself up over wanting the old things. Just be sure to keep it under control. This is a lifestyle change. Life requires chocolate. I'm sorry, but it's true. So enjoy it when you eat it...just don't overdo it.
You're doing great, Rob. I know you're not going to even think about giving up now. You've come way too far and accomplished way too much to do that. It's just a matter of adjusting your focus and continuing to move forward. ;)
this blog scares me. you have done SO well and i would hate hate hate to see you lose it all.
remember what bo's doctor told him about not making it to his 35th bday? remember how good it felt to fit into a 44 pants? remember how, for the first time, i could shop at KOHLS for your bday and not a big and tall? remember all the comments you get from people about how good you look? remember how you promised to go to cedar point w/ me this summer and be able to go on the roller coasters?
youve gone too far rob!
~erin
Yeah, it's not about wanting to quit or give up - that's not even in my vocabulary.
I'm just missing that 'fire' lately. It's frustrating.
Don't do it! (pulling out the hair)
I was bald by 35...so don't rush it :)
As with any personal struggle, you'll have good and bad days. Expect it, prepare for it. After the workout you had, I'd probably be bed ridden for a couple of days.
Your body told you it needed a break, and so you listened...no problem. With all of the activities you're involved in, make sure your giving your body the rest it needs.
About being over 30...I wish!
An older man once told me,
I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm better now once than I ever was!
Your younger days are still with you. They say the new 30 is 50. You've got a way to go before you need to be concerned about your age. Also, if you ever do one of those "Real Age" tests, I believe you'll find that you're actually much younger this year than you were last year.
So, rest up. Baseball season is here.
Dad
There must be something in the air because I was staring at some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that are sitting in our candy dish at home.
I didn't have one, but I wanted one.
Anyway, just read Erin's post over and over again :)
Take it from someone who lost 40 lbs, gained it back due to stress and not sticking with it, gaining minimal weight when pregnant, but never losing it-it sucks. Don't look back Tuck.
Alot of GREAT things happened in my life when I turned 30-I got married, started a new job, bought a home and had a baby. (remember-told you losing weight will help you chase after kids-ask Jimbo!)Where you are in your life right now is where you are meant to be. You're in school and working hard towards you what you want. You proved to yourself last month you can do ANYTHING. School, work, weight loss...and Erin is AMAZING helping you through it all. (shoulda given me the brownies-riley would eat them-babies LOVE chocolate.) LOL...
Like I was telling Jim the other day-your group has been friends for a LONG time and you will always be a tight group, but you don't have to settle for the weight you are-you are all on track to making changes and as friends, you should all do it together. It will make it easier for you all-and TALK about a support system. You ALL can do it and I'm going to be there right there with you all, losing weight-every step of the way.
It's just a weird time. You're finally allowed to feel like a grown up, but it doesn't feel like you thought it would.
You'll get through it. It sounds like you have a great real-life support system and you've got all these great encouraging blog buddies too!
I think you're doing right, acknowledging the confusion and working through it.
By the way, I accidently posted as Kevin. So that post by Kevin76 was actually me. ;)
Tuck,
Sack up, bro. I'm supposed to feel bad for you here, because you turned 30, but guess what? So did I? Motivation is where you find it. You've got to want it. You knew when you started this that it wouldn't be easy, so why do you sound surprised? I guess I don't have much room to talk here, but take a look at yourself, because you are the only one who can do this. Besides, you haven't made it to 295 to make me diet, yet. So..in the words of my personal idol, one Mr. R Lee Ermey of Full Metal Jacket fame..."GET TO WORK MAGGOT!!!!"
JIM
Do it Tuck, if anything to help JImbo join you in the quest to lose weight And stop making comments about getting down to his weight-you're like RIGHT there almost!(he's a big talker, that husband of mine)...!
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