June Report

Today's Weigh In: 288.5
Four Day Average: 290.875
Calorie Count 1622 or less

Nutrition Report

Fat - 26.7% (49 grams) Protein - 22.7% (93 grams) Carbohydrates - 50.6% (207 grams) Alcohol - 0.0% Other - 0.0% Daily Sodium Intake - 1,905 mg Daily Cholesterol Intake - 90 mg Daily Fiber Intake - 19 grams

Nutrition Grade B

Side note: I'd usually have a "five day" average, but since I just got back into the gym the last four days, I didn't have a weigh in for a few days prior, so I went with four this week instead of five. Just a clarification for my FAT Coalition family.

On my calories, I say "or less" because we went to TCBY for a snack tonight, and I had "Peanut Butter Delight" - a 96% fat free yogurt. This was AMAZING. I couldn't find a number for it online, so I just found the highest caloric yogurt on their menu and went with it. So, chances are my number would be lower, but I'd rather record too high than too low.

So I went to the gym today, mowed the lawn, and ate pretty well. I've been trying to focus on MUCH smaller levels of sodium, and today was pretty good. I figure if I can keep this up, this may be the push I need.

Ok, so here's what I've done since I've started. I didn't have a weigh-in on the 30th of each month, but I think this speaks volumes about where I've been, and where I can go. With the July Summer Sizzler Challenge - losing 10 pounds being the goal, in order to see where you're heading, you need to remember where you've been.

November 22 - 350.0 (starting point)
January 2 - 345.0 (5 pounds lost in December)
January 31 - 330.5 (14.5 pounds lost in January)
February 28 - 325.0 (5.5 pounds lost in February)
March 30 - 311.5 (13.5 pounds lost in March)
April 30 - 301.0 (10.5 pounds lost in April)
May 30 - 296.0 (5 pounds lost in May)
June 30 - 288.5 (7.5 pounds lost in June)

8.79 pounds per month. That's what I'm averaging since the beginning.

In order to lose 10 pounds this month, I need to really push hard. Very few, if any, "Cheat Meals". Work hard during workouts, and be consistant. Just keep pushing. I know what the challenge is in front of me, and as you guys already know - when it seems impossible, that's when I push the hardest.

So, members of the FAT Coalition - good luck with your weight loss. I'm looking forward to this.

Starting Now

This is a weight loss support group.

I will no longer be going into drama and such.

If you guys want to follow suit, I hope so. This whole challenge is getting out of hand, so I'm going to go back to talking about weight loss, successes and struggles, and whatever else is related.

If it's not about your weight loss journey, I'm not commenting on it - and I will delete anything that is not related about weight loss.

So, after this little dotted line, it's all about weight loss again.

--------------------- (dotted line) --------------------------

Yesterday's Weigh In: 289
Calorie Count: Not sure, low 3000s?

We went to a wedding last night, and had a blast. Good times by all, so I tried to keep my calories REAL low during the day (like 700), because wedding food and free open bar isn't a great calorie consumption tool.

That being said, I had fettucine alfredo, breaded pork chops and ham - but at least in one reasonable serving. I also had a salad and 2 bites of Erin's dessert, which honestly, I could have done without. No real way to measure the calories accurately, so I'm not going to bother trying.

That being said, today's going to be squeaky clean. I had egg whites and mushroom omelet with 2 slices of ham for breakfast (and 2 bites of bagel) and rye toast (dry), and that's probably going to be all I see until dinner tonight. Drinking lots of water, being active - and that's about it for the day.

So, I'm back on the horse, and making the right decision. The leg is still killing me at times, but I'm seeing great improvements - I'm playing softball on Monday, so I'll be going full steam for the July challenge.

Catch ya'll soon!

Any Better?

Weigh In: 294 (recorded earlier today)
Calories Counted: 1,609

Fat - 22.8% (41 grams) Protein - 23.0% (93 grams) Carbohydrates - 54.2% (220 grams) Alcohol - 0.0% Other - 0.0% Daily Sodium Intake - 4,007 mg Daily Cholesterol Intake - 191 mg Daily Fiber Intake - 27 grams

Nutrition Grade A

Ok, I'm going to try to remember to start putting this up there every day. This is what calorie-count.com does with your food log when you put it all in there. I should, but I don't, know where I should be with my sodium, cholesterol and fiber, so if someone can point me in the right direction (also fat/protein/carbs) and give me an idea of what I'm shooting for, I'd appreciate it.

So here's the bottom line for today.

I ate much better, and didn't cave in to temptation. It was really hard today. I think back a few months when I was on this strong move, and avoiding the 'tough' foods was easy. I'm really seeming to have a hard time with this thing lately, but I know what I've said a million times, and it hasn't changed. YOU GET WHAT YOU EARN. Hopefully today I earned a small victory.

Also, as I mentioned before, I'm getting pretty frustrated with my leg, even though it's starting to heal up a bit. It's MUCH better than it was a week ago tonight when I messed it up, but I feel like I'm unable to go full tilt in the gym, I'm still apprehensive, and the pain still appears, even though I pretend it doesn't. I really.. I mean, REALLY, am looking forward to being 100%.

So, I know I'm not supposed to expect results on the scale per day, but I could really use a pick-me-up in there. I just hope I get the benefit of the doubt. If I don't, that's OK too - but a drop in weight would really give me a boost that I desperately need.

Out of Control

Yesterday's Weigh In: 292
Today's Weigh In: 294

I feel like I'm losing control. I avoided blogging yesterday for the first time since I started this whole thing. A week ago today, I hit 286 and was finally hitting my stride. A leg injury, and a week later, I'm 8 pounds higher than I was that day.

I don't understand how this keeps happening. I know that we go in streaks, and I know that this is a struggle, and I know everything that we've talked about these past few months, but this boggles my mind.

It seems like I keep falling into every possible trap that there is. Injury = no working out. Eating right for 90% of the day = useless. For example, yesterday after I hit that mind-boggling 292, I set out to eat perfect. I mean, PERFECT. And I did, up until dinner.

We went to the Detroit Fireworks last night, and since we went to my father-in-law's building down there, they had 'free dinner' beforehand. I figured, what the hell, let's go.. and when I get there - it's all hog dogs and hamburgers and full fat chips.

Shit.

So, I decide to go no-bun. Then, justifying that since I'm going no-bun, I decide to get 2 hot dogs. Now, keep in mind, these aren't your ordinary Ballpark variety. These were big freaking hotdogs. So, I sit down with my 2 huge tube steaks and some ketchup and mustard, and go to town. I was pretty much satisfied hunger wise, so I was content. Not the most healthy, but the best possible solution.

But then there was a dessert bar.

Everyone else decided to get ice cream, but I was 'willful' enough to pass it up. So, what do I reward myself with?

Another freaking hotdog.

WHY?

Because if they were having something, I 'deserved' to have something.

I don't understand this mental justification of bad decisions in my life lately when it comes to my diet. I mean, I had a few months back in the day.. like, February/March - where I can pretty much just eat 'what makes sense' - and since I'm working out like Rocky the week before he went face to face with Ivan Drago in Rocky IV - I'm just fine.

I can't keep doing this. As I type this, I'm not even sure how I feel. Am I pissed off? Depressed? Remorseful? Just mentally weak?

I don't get why I keep doing this, but I need to cut this out, and in a hurry. 300's right around the corner staring at me.

Back On The Track?

Weigh In: NONE

A few quick notes tonight - I'm starting to get some improvement on the leg quicker than I thought, so that's promising. Erin's aunt is a nurse, so I've had her check out the leg twice, both Sunday and again tonight. She has this magic potion that she's soaked my leg with twice now, and it's helping speed the process up - taking the infection right out, and really helping with the healing process. It's moving along.

This is good, because I went to softball tonight - not intending to play, but we were short guys so I went out and played first base for one inning until the late comers were able to make it. I made two solid plays at first, and got a single - I was hobbling a bit and not 100% - but it was great to be able to be somewhat mobile, a great sign of recovery for me. I then spent the rest of the game coaching third, so I was on my feet.

My biggest problem with the leg hasn't been the actual 'scrape' that was caused. The muscles underneath have been getting INSANELY painful and tightening up with the blood rush that flows into the leg, making the blinding pain rush through. Yesterday it got a bit better, and again today it was that much more better. Good enough where I was able to accomplish what I did today.

So, tomorrow I hit the gym. I'm going to test the non-impactiveness (it's a word now) of the Elliptical and see how the leg reacts. Then, Gary and I are going to hit the upper body pretty hard, and then I'll see how it feels. I'll get my first weigh in since Thursday in, so I'm a bit nervous about that. You guys all seem to think that I'll see major improvements as my eating has been in line, but honestly, I'll be happy if I just maintained the 286 that I had on Thursday.

That, of course, assumes that I'm wrong and you're right.

So, here goes nothing. Hopefully I'll have some successes to report tomorrow.

PS: I finally did measurements for the first time today. I'm a bit mad at myself for not doing them at the beginning, I'm curious to see the differences.. but I'll be doing them for now on. They're on the right column posted.

Riding the Pine

Not much to report today.

I ate well, but couldn't work out at all. It's frustrating to me. I know that I should be accepting the fact that I can't work out and just deal with it. I know that you all have told me to just take the time to relax and just rest up, but I'm not handling that too well.

I should be doing something. I just broke that plateau a few days ago, and this is when I should be working HARDER, not less.

I appreciate the fact that you guys think that I will feel better about this, and that I may even experience good weight loss. That may be completely true, and I don't doubt you for a half of a second.

But it doesn't feel right to me right now. I should be up and at the gym. I should be playing softball. I should be running, lifting, everything that I know I can do.

I was taught at a young age that you get what you earn, and you earn what you get. That's why I've never had a problem with gaining the extra pound or two on this journey when I know that I didn't do what I should have been doing. I feel like it's completely out of my hands, and frankly, that's now how I operate.

So, I wait. Honestly, I feel like I'm sitting on a park bench watching the racers go by.

I need to be in that race.

On The Shelf

Weigh In: NONE

Well, it's official. I probably won't be working out this week. Haven't worked out since Friday. Basically - long story made short, my leg 'scrape' from the sliding turned into 2 pretty big gouges in my leg, and I've been having a hard time keeping weight on it since Friday. Every day's been a cycle of "rinse, peroxide, rinse, peroxide, soap, rinse, gauze, bandage, wrap".

The problem is, it's not really the 'scrape' itself that is causing the pain. What it really boils down to it, with a wound this size, (it's about 7-8 inches deep, about 3-4 inches wide) the body rushes all of the blood cells to the injury to help rebuild. What that translates to is, when my leg is up, or there's no real pressure or weight being put on my leg, it's relatively painless. Alternately, when I'm standing and walking and there's continuous pressure on the leg, it doesn't hurt either. What REALLY hurts is when I've had no pressure on the leg, but then I apply pressure (aka: getting up, taking multiple steps and then stopping and then continuing again, etc), that's when there is an immediate blood pressure rush to the wound, and the pain is blinding.

What that means is that I can't work out. I can't run. I can't do any type of exercise without really getting into that pressure situation. I missed a 5k run today that I was planning on doing, I've cancelled my softball games for the week, and I'm pretty much on the shelf.

It's defeating, I can't lie. Just when I hit a string of new loss on my weight loss goals and finally beat that freakin' plateau, one stupid slide that thousands of people do without going into injury mode, puts me up for a week or more.

I mean, I know what I have to do. We've preached for months that "eating is 80% of the battle", and I'll continue, and be even MORE stringent, on taking the right amount of calories in. I'm still in it, and I'll still lose my weight. I know Erin is worried that this will be the beginning of my downfall and that I'm going to give up and gain the weight back, and in the past, it may have been a concern, but with this support system that I've got, and the drive that I've got to reach this goal - quitting never once crossed my mind. So Erin - no worries, I'm still going strong.

But I can't even pretend that I'm not pissed off about not being able to hit the gym. I've been at Bally's almost every day for the past 6 months, so not being able to go is just killer for me.

Oh, and one other thing - my scale is there too. So, no gym means no scale.

Frustrated.

Team GOYADS - Blog Page Up

Ok, as Team Leader, I created the blog and created the team name. If you're vehemently opposed, let me know. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy.

http://takecontrol-bteam.blogspot.com/

C'mon Team GOYADS!

Someone Remind Me That I'm Not 18 Anymore

Just a quick note. If you're not into graphic gross pictures, don't click on the two links below. It's not too bad, but I thought I'd warn you.

So, playing softball tonight, and when I was coaching first (when I'm not up to bat) I'm telling the runners to be aggressive, because the other team's outfielders were being lazy in getting the balls back into the infield. So, we're doing well - many of our singles are turning into doubles, right?

So I should take my own advice, right?

I get a line shot into shallow left field, and I come hard around first base. Seeing that the left fielder is taking his sweet time, I turn and haul ass towards 2nd base. The guy sees me coming, picks the ball up and throws a PERFECT throw to second.

I'm running full speed and see this, so my instincts kicked in. SLIDE - and make it with a slide I'm pretty damn proud of, and get under the tag. SAFE.

Small details I left out -

1: The field isn't maintained so it's all rocks and hard as heck.
2: I was wearing shorts.

So, here's the pictures of the damage:

Picture One Picture Two

My leg is KILLING me right now, throbbing as I type. I've got a strong workout in the morning - we're doing all power cardio - wind sprints, T-drills, jump rope, some boxing if we can get it in .. here's for hoping the leg is ready.

Just thought I'd share my softball "badge of honor". You guys would understand.

Got the Runs?

Weigh In: 286 (new low!)
Calories Counted: Pending

Ok, a few things to talk about today.

First off, I dropped 2 more pounds yesterday. I'm trying not to get too high on it, because we all know how this works by now, but it's refreshing to see lower numbers. Obviously, I'm thrilled with this, and my fire is starting to return. Funny how success breeds desire sometimes, when it should be the other way around.

Also, I think I'm going to be doing another few 5ks and other runs coming up here soon. Nicole, my buddy Jim's wife (thanks Nicole) forwarded me over this link that gives me all the races that are run for good causes in the state of Michigan. So, there's a few coming up. Kristen, you were talking about running one, so if you want to coordinate to meet up with whoever else wants to go, we can make that work.

Depending on how things work out, I'd like to do two of them that are going on in this next couple weeks. I need to figure out what my plans for this Sunday are, but there's a 5k run sponsored by the Livonia YMCA. Ironically, there's a pancake breakfast waiting for you when you get done, so I may have to keep running. Also, on July 1 there's a 5k race that runs right through the neighborhood a few miles south of me in Clawson. Ironically, the race starts about 5k away from my house, so maybe they could just change the route and end up at my place, and we can throw the worlds biggest BBQ ;)

So, that's my day. Races being planned, weight falling off - what a different a few days makes.

Batter Up

Weigh In: 288 (new low!)
Calories Counted: 2,625

So this is a few days in a row where I've been slowly creeping down. Part of me has a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I'm 288 today. It may sound wierd, but 288 sounds SO much more than 291. It feels like a mile away. So, that's good.

I'm still not sure if I'm out of my plateau, but I've been working hard, and I think that's what matters. It means a lot to me that a lot of you have said that I'm a motivation and inspiration for you, so I hold that banner proudly.

Oh, also - here's a few pictures that were taken this week during softball. More candid, so it's not exactly like I'm posing, but it gives an idea of what I'm looking like - full body shots during the game yesterday:


I feel pretty good about the first two, because when you're looking straight at me, I seem like I'm losing the weight pretty well. The third one really tells the tale, though. My midsection - my gut, waist, legs and junk in the truck.. all still wildly out of control. I know I'm getting there, but other than the "number on the scale", this is what really pushes me.

I think I mentioned this right when I started this, but one of my worst moments in my life was when we were watching home videos over my In-Laws house of a vacation that we took a few years ago. It was a tape of the week previous, and I had decided to take a canoe out on the lake. Someone videotaped me without my shirt on, and honestly, I felt so incredibly embarassed that I can't even put it into words.

It was one of those times where the first thought in my head was "oh my god, who the hell is that fatass?" before I was looking at myself. This moment was one of those that changed my entire life around.

So, the third picture tells me that I have a LONG way to go - I'm nowhere near my goals.

But the first two tell me that I've come a long way from where I started.

Downward.. maybe?

Weigh In: 288.75 (new low)
Calorie Count: 1,993
A few of you told me in the past few days that "I can't give up, because I look to you for support" - and I've heard this recently in my 'real' life as well. It's those types of things that make me realize how far that I've come in this fight. Don't get me wrong - as much as I get frustrated and remember the 'quitting' feeling back in the day, I feel pretty strong. Even when I'm mad about this whole 1 pound a month thing, I haven't lost that 'drive' to quit.

I haven't done the 'cheating' on the food thing. I haven't given up working out. I get irritated at the scale, but I suppose that's natural, right?

I've probably given this advice 50 times in the past month - "when the scale's not agreeing with you, just keep doing what you know you're supposed to be doing. The body is fighting you, but you'll win. Keep at it!"

It's so much easier to give the advice than take it.

But, as the scale read 288.75 today, I felt a glimmer of hope. Is this the crack in the floor that I need? Or, is it another tease, and I pop back into the 290's again tomorrow?

What have we said a million times?

Hard work - healthy eating - good decisions.

The fight continues.

Determination

Weigh In: 291
Calories Counted: 2,041

For the last few days, I've been focusing (both on the blog and in my life) on the Race for the Cure, and everything that went along with it. Now, I'm back into my swing of things, and doing what I need to do.

Had a good day, food-wise. Made some good choices, some good substitutions, and I'm happy with that.

I can't help but think that it's been a full month since I lost 1 pound. By far, this has been the toughest month for me in term of my weight loss, and in terms of my determination. Before, if I would have gone a full month essentially losing nothing, I would have quit. No questions asked.

But I feel like it's different. I'll be honest.. part of me really has that fear that I'm not going to be able to hit 250. I have those doubts.. I mean, I broke 300 on May 3rd. We're talking a month and a half, and I've got what.. 9 pounds to show? I know that in the big picture it's an accomplishment, but when you're facing this on a day to day, it tests your mental strength.

On the other hand, I haven't lost a step. I get frustrated, but there's no "Quit" in me. It's not even close. Instead of giving up, it's just made my drive stronger.

So, as much as I want to get back under 290 and beyond, I feel like I'm being tested.

I'll win this one, too. In the meantime, you guys get to hear me bitch about it ;)

Running With Pictures

Today's Weigh In: 291 (I'll ignore this today)

Finally, I got these pictures up. For some reason, my computer has been jacked up lately, and I lost my editing software (even MS Paint -strange). So, here they are - complete with captions.


This is one of the crowd about an hour or so before the race. We were all walking around getting the free swag - everything from free Sunchips and Chi-Chi's salsa to $500 gift certificates good for a discount off the price of a Ford. Plenty of stuff, plenty of people. It was in this mass of people that I met many of the survivors that I talked to. Pretty cool stuff.


Since we were in front of the home of the Detroit Tigers, Comerica Park, we had to pose in front of the giant Tiger in front. You can see the giant pink shirt around the Tiger, I thought that was pretty cool. I'm the one in the white trying pose like some wanna-be pimp, and in the yellow is Jim, who ran it with me. In front in the red is Nicole, Jim's wife (and current icanseemytoes.blogspot comment leaver), Jim and Nicole's ADORABLE daughter Riley, and Nicole's mom.
The best way to describe this one? It's Jim being Jim. He's been on his own weight loss journey the past few months, and he will be doing the "3-Day Walk", it's 60 miles, in a few months. If you want to donate to his cause, let me know and I'll get you his information. It's a great cause.



I really like this picture. I was around the 2.5 mile point at this time, and we were running straight towards Comerica Park on our way back. We ran all the way to the stadium, turned left and then right, ran around the stadium, and the finish line was on the other side. Good times.



And then there was me. I use this picture as proof that I was there, ran a race, and survived to tell about it. You'll notice that as opposed to back in November, I'm actually in running shoes, which I can tell you - make one hell of a difference. Also, my favorite part of this picture? Remember how I said I used to wear a size 4XL shirt? Remember how I said that I wear (as I am right this moment) a 2XL shirt comfortably?

The shirt I'm wearing in the picture is an XL. Only 1 X. Pretty cool, eh?

So, there's my journey. Jim and I will be looking for other runs in the near future, as this was such a great experience. Notice I'm not talking about my official one month weight loss total from May 18th to June 18th of one pound today. Control what you can, and don't worry about the rest, right?

Sharing The Promise

The Race for the Cure, I came to realize today, is MUCH more than just another reason for me to go out and run. Let's go through my day:

Went to bed around 1am last night. Not the brightest move. Got up at 5am. I was pumped to go run. I wasn't thinking much about Breast Cancer research or a Cure to the disease this morning. I was ready to wake up, get going and race. I left the house at 6:30 and was downtown by 6:45am. The race didn't start until 9am, but I wanted to check everything out. So, I was walking around non-stop from 6:45 until I met up with Jim, Nicole, Riley (1 yr old) and Nicole's mom at 7:30. Then, we went walking around, and got all the free swag. The race started at 9.

Now, before Jim and the clan got there, I was walking around talking to these big groups, the teams. Just kind of mingling, getting to listen to some great stories. I met this one group and they were all talking about breast cancer. Then I noticed that each and every single one of them - probably about 15 women - were wearing instead of white race tags, they were wearing pink ones.

The pink ones were designated for the "Survivors". This group of women, each and every single one - fought off Breast Cancer. Each one had a story of how scared they were and how hard they cried when they fought off - and each one talked about the fight and the struggle to stay alive. It makes my 'struggle' to lose a few pounds seem like small potatoes, and it makes me appreciate the health that I've been given.

So, after talking, I promised to them that I would represent the cause for at least the next month - symbolized by wearing a pink wristband in honor of them. So, when everyone around me asks why this 6'4", 292 pound dude is wearing a pink wristband, I'll tell their story. This is what it looks like:

So, onto the race itself.

I felt pretty confident going into it, but when it came time to race, all I could think about is beating my time. I got the first mile out of the way in about 12:24 (the timing wasn't really recorded for the splits, except for one big clock that we could see when we got to the mile points), so I knew that I was ahead of the game. If I could keep the 12:24 pace, I'd be just fine.

The second mile was a bit toucher as expected. My time after 2 miles was 24:50 or something along those lines. I was keeping up with my 12:30/mile pace.

The third mile brought on a MAJOR cramp on my right side, the typical runner's cramp. Hurt like HELL. But, and I'm damn proud of this, I fought it off. I did a lot of walking in between runs, but it was a LOT of improvement from the last time - my recovery time is improving.

So, the last maybe 200 yards was awesome. You're running down this road between the two stadiums of the Detroit Lions and Detroit Tigers, and you make a right turn. I was completely gassed out, but just trying to finish. Well, you make this turn, and then you see this in the horizon:


I can't explain how - but I got this HUGE rush of adreneline in me. When I say that after 3 miles, I was wiped out, that's no exageration. I was toast. But, when I saw that finish line, something took over. I went BALLS out, full sprint, for about 2 football fields. When most people were jogging in, I was pumping as hard as I could - and I ZOOMED through the finish line, beating last November's 46:48 time.

This time?

35:38.

An 11 minute improvement. I pumped my fist and yelled when I got there, and others cheered with me.

Now, this was only 3 miles instead of 3.1, but the timing wouldn't really be too different, so I'm calling this my number. Where the Thanksgiving run started your time electronically when you crossed the 'start' line, this one - the clock just started, and with the masses of people lined up, I didn't even get TO the start line until about a minute later - so it's a wash.

So, I'm proud of myself. But, as much as I've focused on the running today, the most meaningful part was talking to those women, and I wear this pink wristband with pride this month.

More pictures tomorrow.. they're taking too long to load tonight.

Racing for A Cure

It's about midnight, and I'm still up. After I post this blog, I'm headed to bed, as I've got to be downtown in Detroit meeting my "Race for the Cure" team at 7:30am for our big run.

I'm pretty excited about this. For me, it's another step in my healthy lifestyle. I've got a number to beat, a goal to reach, and this is something that is important for me.

Then again, in my own personal rush to hit my health goals, it's easy to forget the REAL reason for running.

Breast cancer is a serious, serious problem. This race represents a lot to people - including honoring the women who have lost their battles to this disease, and celebrating the women who have won the battle against cancer - and also those who are currently struggling.

I'm proud to be a part of this movement. I've been lucky to not have anyone close to me fall victim to this disease, but prevention is just as important as anything else. To take part in this, and to be part of a team fighting for a common cause - especially something as worthy and as important as this, I'm honored to run next to those who need the support.

So, to all the women in my life - I run for you.

I'll have pictures and such tomorrow. Cheer me on!

I Need My Pit Crew

Yesterday's Weigh In: 291
Yesterday's Calorie Count: 2,396
Today's Weigh In: 292

I'm 3 days away from having a 1 pound weight loss month. Obviously, pretty frustrated about that. I feel like I'm doing everything I could be doing - I'm keeping my calories in my 'range', I'm working out damn near 7 days a week, I'm doing other active things like 2-mile bike rides and the golf driving range, I'm going for 9 holes of golf tonight, I play softball at least 2 times a week.. you name it. Healthy lifestyle, healthy choices. I'm a smooth running machine.

But I think I've got a flat tire. You know how that goes - when you look at it, most of it is perfectly rounded. A perfectly rounded tire rolls - and gets you to where you want to be. But that flat part - when it hits the ground, it's harder to push. Some would even say that when you've got a flat tire, you can't go ANYWHERE.

I'm running a 5k down the streets of Detroit tomorrow morning. We're getting there early, probably like 7am - and then by 9am I'll be trying to beat my previous time of 46:48. Personally, I want to break the 40 minute mark, but I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't - if I can only beat the previous time. I have lost 60 pounds since my last run, so it should be possible - I've done it once already - but it's not like I've been in 'running training mode' and running a ton, so we'll see what happens.

So, this flat tire needs air to fix it right? It needs the "fire" that Billy was talking about.

To get that "fire" going - you need a spark.

I'm hoping this 5k can help push me past this point of frustration so I can fix my flat tire and finish the race. Sitting in the pit stop for a month frustrates me to a point that I can't really verbalize. Honestly, if it wasn't for my workouts with my cousin, and my teammates on my two blogs, who knows what would have happened this month.

Here's to getting to the finish line together.

Better Off Than Others

Calories Counted: 2,355

I usually wouldn't have posted something as simple as I did earlier today, but I was SO frustrated that I just had to convey that to you guys. I'm not sure why, but the whole 'number on the scale' thing has really gotten to me. I looked back into May, and I realized that on May 18th, I weighed in at 293. I haven't been able to get under 292.5 since then. So, that's where my frustrations come. Almost a month (a month where I decided to set a numerical goal for myself for the first time in a few), and I've got a pound to show for it. Needless to say, it's starting to get to me.

But then I had a few reminders of how far I've come again today.

First off, I was playing softball for the "B" team tonight (I usually am a "C" team player), and one of the fans in the crowd who is one of the other player's wife, squinted as I was walking towards her and Erin after the game. She said "that IS Rob, I didn't recognize you".

Apparently, the 90 pounds I've lost since the last softball season confused her into thinking that she was looking at a different person.

That was cool.

And, another person that Erin was talking to tonight said something to her in terms of her own weight loss than really sounded like me 90 pounds ago. She was talking about how she wants to lose weight, and "every doctor she talks to tells her that it's all about diet and exercise". She said that she wasn't able to do that, and she needed some doctor to prescribe her a pill or something to help her lose the weight.

A year or so ago, when I was faced with my highest weight in my life, I thought over and over about that bariatric surgery. I was told that I was a candidate for it, and that being almost 400 pounds.. it might be something I should think about. I seriously considered it - I think I thought about it more than the people around me in my life realized. I was at a scary point in my life - was surgery the only thing that could save my life?

I know the answer now.

Hard work. Exercise. A smart eating plan.

And patience.

We'll get there.

Irritated

Weigh In: 292.5

Not much to say right now - just a bit frustrated. Will report in with my calories tonight.

High Expectations

Weigh In: 291.5
Calories Counted: 1945

Ok, so a few things:

First off, I'm calling on the FAT Coalition and friends to keep me honest about my calorie counting. I haven't been keeping track, and although I've been 'faithful' to my diet - we all know that when you're NOT counting, it's probably higher than it should be. So, if I don't post my calories counted for the day, call me on it. Point it out - this is something that I've been lackadaisical about, and I need to be held accountable. So, keep me on this.

And somewhat related, I had a pretty good day today. I was in the gym at 6am, and Gary and I had one hell of an upper body workout. I pushed the limits on the bench, and also jumped up my curls - which I haven't used free weights for in way too long. When I first started lifting, my bench was like 115 or something along that line. I put 155 on the bar and did my first set. Somewhat easy, I added more to the next set, and did a full set of 170 for my second set. I wanted to push myself, so I set the bar at 185 and did a full set. Needless to say, my arms and chest were feeling it today.

Side note: Funny how the 'machines' are so different than freeweights. An example? I've been pushing the stack on the chest press machine (200 pounds) for a full 3 sets of 12 - all last week. The 'real' thing does MUCH more for me.

Ok, so back to my day.

So after the gym, I went to school, and then went to work. I then hit the golf driving range and hit a full bucket of balls, and then spent about 45 minutes working on my putting. My drives were looking pretty good.. probably about half of them went dead center, about 200 yards out. We're not going to talk about the other half right now ;)

After that, I went home and we BBQ'ed shrimp skewers, redskin potatoes and salad. Awesome, awesome meal. Then, we went on about a 2 mile (approx) bike ride.

So, I ate right on track - and I did three healthy activities today. I know this shouldn't be the way it is, but I'm EXPECTING a low weigh in. If I don't see it, I'll be pretty frustrated.

I know, it's unreasonable to expect it, but I do. Sometimes you throw logic out the window.

Proof's in the sugar free pudding. I'll report back in tomorrow.

Lesson Learned

Weigh In: 292.5

Today's weigh-in taught me a valuable lesson about entitlement. I could get into a long diatribe about getting what you earn, earning what you get, etc... but let's keep this one simple:

I ran a 5k yesterday. I felt great. I worked hard, I busted my tail, I really accomplished a lot.

And then I had spaghetti. And bread. WITH BUTTER. And then more bread with butter. And then cake and ice cream.

And then I weighed in at 292.5 - up 3 pounds from yesterday's weigh in.

Quick - what's the lesson here?

For some reason, I felt like I really accomplished something with the workout, and I hardly ate anything all day, so when dinner came around, and we had a family get together of about 15 of us, here I go into the carbs. I could have had less carbs if I was thrown face first into a vat of peanut butter.

The lesson is simple - you are what you eat. Billy's said it a million times - exercise is the bonus, but healthy eating is key.

Lesson learned.

Again.

Training Day

Weigh In: 289.5 (new low)

First off, I got my first glimpse of the sub 290's.. that was pretty cool. Let's see if it sticks. It's interesting - instead of that 'happy' feeling I used to get when I hit a new big number, it's not 'all business'. I got under 290, and I stepped off, said "hell yes", and started making plans for the 270s. I've got 5 days to keep up with my goals that I set, so it's still a race to the finish. Not too worried about hitting it, but I'd like to stay close.

That being said, I'm pretty proud of myself today, for another reason.

As I mentioned, I'm doing the Komen Race for the Cure benefiting Breast Cancer awareness this coming weekend. So, I was on the elliptical today running and thinking about how I've got this race in a week. I'm coasting through the elliptical run, and about 7 minutes in, I think to myself, "If I'm going to run a 5k in a week, I should probably do the closest thing to running".

I hate treadmills. Let's just get that out of the way first.

So, I jump on one. I figured I'd go a little bit, and see what I could do. I did a mile set at the 4.5 setting, and I felt pretty wiped out. But, after a mile, I thought "what the hell, let's see how far I could go". So, I kept going, and bumped it up to 5.0. About a quarter mile further, I'm starting to get wiped out even more, so I jumped it down to 3.5 and went about 2 minutes. By now, I'm at around 1.7 miles - so I think to myself...

"I'm halfway through a 5k".

So, I went for it.

I'm alternating between 5.5 and 3.9 - probably about 50/50, and when I get to the 3 mile point, I'm pretty much done. Throughout the last mile, all I could think of is Billy and Beck. You both kept talking about how when you were running, you felt like you couldn't give anymore, yet you did. All I could think about through the last mile was that if my FAT Coalition partners could do it, then I could do it too.

So I did.

When I got literally to the 3.13 mile point (3.2 miles is 5k), I saw that I was getting close to 40 minutes - and I really wanted to get under 40. So I just cranked it. I'm talking, I set it to around 7.2 setting. I went balls out, and hit the 3.2 mile point literally 2 seconds before 40.

So, my first treadmill 5k was 39:58. I'm going to do 1 or 2 more this week, and see what happens.

When the Race for the Cure comes out, this fat guy's going to be prepared.

Chillin'

Weigh In: NONE

I'm taking everyone's advice for a day, and I'm taking a break from the gym for a day. I'm sitting here in my gym clothes with a bag packed full of my shower and gym stuff, so I'm all ready to go, but then I decided to just take one day in.

I probably walked about a mile or so today garage-sale'ing (is that a word? it is now), so I guess I got a little bit of workout in, but I can't even really count that. Today is a day to coast.

It's wierd, because I feel like I'm cheating myself. I should be in the gym, and I should be getting a weigh-in. Something about old habits dying hard, I suppose.

One thing I noticed is, my wife's family's sub was having this big garage sale, so it was one of those where the whole neighborhood puts their crap up for other people to buy. In the past, this used to be a neighborhood that Erin and I would walk through before we got married and she still lived at home, and I remember being winded taking those walks. I'm being generous if I call it a mile walk, it's probably not even that much through the neighborhood, but I remember in the past I was just dead tired. She would want to go for a walk, and I just was never into it - I always went because she wanted me to, but it wasn't anything I was fond of.

Today, we went for the same walk, and I felt great, to the point where her sister decided that she wanted to go check out this one house's goods about halfway down, and I got up and walked it with her.

Again, we're not talking major accomplishments by ANY stretch of the imagination, but it's good sometimes to get these direct comparisions to how things were in the past compared to today, so I suppose it's a bright spot.

Back to it tomorrow, but I did exactly what you guys prescribed for me - a day off.

75 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. I'd say it's a good day to have one.

Running Towards My Goal

Weigh In: 291 (new low)

Two cool things to talk about.

First off, I got my package in the mail today for next week's Komen Race for the Cure 5k race that I'm doing. It'll be my 2nd 5k race - the first one was on Thanksgiving Day this year, which was the kickoff to my weight loss goal. My time was like 46:48 for the full thing. Damn slow, but this was a 379 pound guy who hadn't worked out in months, in NON-running shoes, and without stretching.

Needless to say, I'm a bit more prepared this time. I'm not sure what a 'good time' is, but I plan on blowing that number out of the water next weekend. I can't wait. I got my XL shirt (ok, that's going to have be stretched out a wee-bit), my pin, and my number. Lucky number 26588 will be on my chest proudly. The cool thing about the XL shirt is, at least I've got a slim chance of making it work - in the past, when I was in a 4XL, an XL shirt worked best for either a sock or a washcloth.

So, wish me luck on that.

The second thing is more about softball. Tonight, it was a tie game going into the last half inning. We only needed 1 run to win, and I was 5th in the batting order. So, that means, if we could get 2 guys on base, and 2 guys would get outs, it would be me up to bat with those 2 outs and all the pressure on me.

Old Rob cringed at that thought.

We got our first two guys on. The third guy came up, and I was actually hoping that he would get an out, and the next guy would get an out, just so I would get that chance to win the game for our team.

New Rob realized tonight that he's got a ton more confidence in his athletic ability than he realized. I was pretty impressed with myself for even thinking that.

For what it's worth, the third guy hit a double and scored the winning run.

Oh, and I went 2 for 3 with 2 doubles.

Not a bad night.

New FAT Member - RipX

Just a note to the rest of the FAT, letting you guys know we've got another proud member joining us on this journey.

http://ripx180.blogspot.com/

Go ahead and add Rip to your list and cheer him on!

Gaining Steam

I already posted today, but I figured I'd do another one.

The last few weeks have been a complete struggle with the plateau, and even though I'm not convinced that I'm beating it, I feel like this snowball that has building up and building up, and I'm about to really gain momentum. I mentioned this morning that I felt like I 'knew" that today I was going to weigh in low, and ever since, I've felt pretty damn good.

I just feel smaller. I don't know why, and I'm not sure if it's just in my head or not, but my arms actually feel 'leaner' today. My legs seem stronger. My chest, shoulders and neck seem to be just a bit more bulge. My gut seems smaller.

I don't know what it is about today, but I feel like I may have turned a corner. Who knows, I could wake up tomorrow and feel out of it again, but I like the feeling I've had today. Let's see if I can't carry THAT momentum into tomorrow.

Light at the end of the Tunnel

Today's Weigh In: 291.5 (lowest yet!)
Yesterday's Weigh In: 293

It's hard to believe I haven't blogged two out of the last four days. Things have been pretty busy, and I didn't even realize that I missed yesterday. That being said, I came in at 293 yesterday and 291.5 today, my lowest to date.

I remember someone blogging a few weeks ago about having those days where you just "feel" skinny when you wake up in the morning. That's how I was this morning. I woke up and immediately felt it. So I grab breakfast, run to the gym, do my workout, take my shower, and as I'm drying off, I think to myself, "I'm going to hit 291 today". It just popped into my head, and sure as hell, I step on the scale and see 291.5 waving at me.

Of course, this is where my paranoia and "typical Rob" kicks in. Instead of being happy about this possible plateau buster, I'm now worried about the 291.5 holding tomorrow. If I go back up, I'll probably hang myself by my ankles by licorice above a vat of cheddar cheese. I know that's stupid, but these plateaus mess with the brain as much as they do the body.

Last night we played a doubleheader in our softball league. Since I've lost this weight since last season, I've been a completely different player. Sure, my defense could use a little work, but I'm starting to really hit the ball hard. I had a triple last night and I came in standing up, and wasn't winded at all when I got there. Last season, if I would have hit a ball that was good for a triple, I would have turned it into a standup double, and I would have been sucking wind for five minutes. I actually had one of the guys on the other team who I haven't seen since last summer ask if I've been "on a diet", because I looked a ton skinnier.

Coming from a 50 year old guy, that's pretty impressive. I"ll take it.

So, we're getting there, day by day. My cousin Gary said something that really made sense in a comment to yesterday's blog that made a ton of sense, kind of put it into perspective. He says, "This after all is a lifestyle change so what's two weeks out of the next 65 years gonna do?".

Good call, Gary. I definitely needed that, so thanks.

A Crack in the Glass?

Weigh In: 293

I may or may not be about to break this plateau, so instead of posting yet another "I'm pissed, I'm irritated, I'm angry, blah blah blah" post, I'll bring numbers of hope into it this time.

On May 11, I was 301 pounds.

To keep it into perspective, I'm 293 as of today, less than 4 weeks later. If I'm being realistic, I really can't be TOO frustrated with the long term, as in about 3+ weeks, I've dropped 8 pounds.

A week ago today, I hit my new low of 292.5 - which still stands. I think that's what frustrates me the most. I saw the number, and then shot right back up to 296, and I've spent the last week trying to get back to where I have already achieved. For the past two weeks, I've done that. This time, and again last week when I got below 300 and then had to fight to get back into the 200's. I think what's the most frustrating for me is trying to regain ground that I've already achieved.

So, it's 293 today. A half-pound from my old "new low". Even as I type this, I know how stupid stressing over a half pound is. But I do, and I am - and it's something that I've been doing since November, so I don't know how I think I'm going to keep myself from stressing over it now.

But, even if it's taken a week to see the light again, whatever it takes, right?

Also, I've had a few of you suggest working out less - I may try that, but I can't wrap my head around that concept quite yet. As strange as it sounds, the daily workout is such a part of my lifestyle now that I'm afraid to get away from in, in fear that I'll lose that 'habit' and have to fight to re-earn that as well. We'll see what happens.

So, let's hear it for 293?

And It Keeps On Going

Weigh In: 294.5

Getting more and more frustrated with it every day, but I have to keep moving. The only way this weight is going to come off is by beating it at its own game. Working out 7 days a week, I've got 3 softball games this week, my eating has been spot-on, and I just have to block out the fact that my weight is holding as steady as concrete.

If I hadn't have been through this before, I would have SWORN that my body had hit its limit and is unable to lose anymore, as much sense as that DOESN'T make.

But I have, and I will.

Eventually.

I just have to keep on going and going.

No Quitters Here

Weigh In: 294

Another day of no budging on the scale, and it's another day of getting more and more frustrated with it. But, I have to stick to my guns - it'll come off.

For you sports fans, my Pistons were pretty symbolic of "Old Rob" when it came to weight loss. In the past, I'd have a great few months, I'd lose a lot of weight, but then I'd get 'happy' with where I was. I'd get complacent. And then, right when I began to rest on my laurels, I'd start to coast.

And then my opponent (the scale) would beat the crap out of me, and then I'd go home shaking my head, wondering what happened. To the Pistons fans out here, that's exactly what we witnessed tonight as they lost the series to Cleveland.

The "New Rob" however, has seen those mistakes that he's made in the past, and he's learned. If you've got your opponent down, you KEEP him down. You fight until the bell sounds. Kevin and I like to use a lot of Rocky references, and the old adage about taking whatever your opponent dishes out, and getting back up again counts.

So - when it comes to my weight loss, my opponent's got me in the ropes. I'm at wits end with this stupid plateau - but instead of hitting the mats face first, I've got my gloves up, taking the punishment. As long as I don't quit, I'll find that opening. And when I do, and I can find a crack in this plateau, I'm going to beat the crap out of it and not look back.

In the meantime, it's getting reeeeeaalllly annoying.

Sorry this blog is so random, I'm so pissed off about these Pistons I can't think straight. Catch ya'll tomorrow.

Barry Sanders, I'm Not

Yesterday's Weigh In: 294
Today's Weigh In: 295

As Kevin talked about today, the Pistons threw my schedule off last night. The game was absolutely killer, and took the sports wind out of my sails. Tough game, total disaster.

It was strange not blogging yesterday, I planned on doing it after the game, but 2 overtimes made it a late, late night.

So, here's my thoughts.

I've been eating much better lately. I've been clean about the eating, I've been working out in my typical 6 days a week run. I'm down a bit from my 296, but I'm still stuck in this 242-296 hell that I've been in for weeks now. It's pretty frustrating, and I'm getting to the familiar point that I was at a few months ago when I was at 330 for 21 days. It boggles the mind, but since this is familiar territory for me, at least I know that hard work and smart eating will eventually win the race, even if I'm in neutral right now.

I had a pretty good compliment today, and it came from somewhere I would have NEVER expected. I was walking into Ballys today, and I handed the girl behind the counter my ID card so she could swipe it. As she handed it back, she asked me, "Do you play football?". I told her that I didn't, and then she says to me, "Oh, you've got the build of a football player. My brother plays semi-pro ball".

Never got that one before.

Now, I've actually been lifting more weights than cardio lately, which after I think about it for a moment, might be part of the reason that my weight loss has been slow. But, that was a comment that I hadn't expected, and honestly, wouldn't have even thought about. I looked in the mirror when I got into the locker room, and I am actually starting to get those muscles built up. I've always been so focused on getting the gut to go away that I haven't considered the difference in the rest of me.

I'm starting to get those big shoulders, my chest is starting to get strength, my neck is starting to get those muscle bulges, and I guess it's starting to show. Frankly, my "Inner Fat" doesn't usually let me see it. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see the huge belly that just hangs over the belt. It's all I see, and it's completely tunnel vision.

So, maybe I'm getting somewhere. The most important part for me is to be able to walk around without a shirt on, but I'm miles away from that. The belly is the last to be fixed, apparantly.

That being said, "you've got the build of a football player" isn't exactly the WORST thing I could hear from someone at the gym, either.