What Needs To Happen

I've been thinking about what to write in this blog for the past month - and now, at 11:40pm on Christmas Eve, I still don't know what I want to say. So, here it goes.

In a week, I'll finish my final 12th 5k race of 2016. When I made this resolution a year ago, I have to be honest - I had no idea if I could do it. It was this fly-by-night, typical Rob type of thing. Make a promise to yourself, not sure how to keep it, but just say it anyway.

But somehow... 12 months later, I kept that promise to myself.

First time in my adult life that I can say I've done that.

And you know - here's the crazy part. I feel like I should be proud of this accomplishment. I mean, on paper - it's a really big deal for a guy my size. A 450 pound guy.... doing a 5K, every single month for a WHOLE YEAR.

But that's the rub.

I'm still a 450 pound guy.

I didn't picture it like this. I thought if I could get 12 5k's in, I'd lose a bunch of weight. I'd be super healthy and at this point I'd have this amazing blog about how this has changed my life, I'm super healthy and I have the running to thank for it.

But I'm larger now than I was when I failed my first race on January 1st. And not by like 5 pounds - by like... 50.

So what did I do wrong?

I got up once a month, went out and did my race, and busted my butt. I'd hurt for days, struggle to walk, and during the race I'd talk to myself about how I need to lose a bunch of weight, do better and do all these great things.

And then for the next 29 days, I'd do absolutely nothing do produce results. I'd eat like crap. I'd sit on my butt. I'd do... nothing. And then 29 days later, I'd go do my race, get the love and adoration from this incredible racing community that exists in Joplin, I'd collect my medal and feel good about myself. And then nothing changes.

If I've done anything good in the past 12 months, it's that I kept my word to myself for the first time in my life. So, I know I can do that.

So, the real question is ... what does 2017 look like? What can I do that will TRULY make a difference in my life? What will take this 450 pound body and shrink it to something healthy? Something that I can crawl around on the ground with my kids? Something that I can actually RUN those 5k's? Something that will truly make my life, my relationships and my marriage better?

I've been reading this Eating Healthy magazine that my mom got me - God bless this woman, she's never been one to beat around the bush. I'm seeing recipes. I'm seeing people making changes. And I'm sitting here wondering how I can TOTALLY NOT see this being me.

This is what I need to do:

Plan meals.
Get healthy eating down.
Better eating habits.

Let's get to the point. If I can consistently pay $30-35 bucks to collect.a racing T-shirt and a medal and absolutely DESTROY my body while doing it, I can do better for the temple that God gave me.

No proclamations of WHAT I'm going to do yet. But this is where my heart and mind are this week. Be in thoughtful prayer for me this week, because whatever I research and decide to do, that will be my '12 5ks in 12 months' challenge for 2017. I will need to be consistent with myself and do it for 12 months.

Merry Christmas everyone. I'll be in touch. Thanks for supporting me for another rocky year.