Yesterday's Weigh In: 292
Today's Weigh In: 294
I feel like I'm losing control. I avoided blogging yesterday for the first time since I started this whole thing. A week ago today, I hit 286 and was finally hitting my stride. A leg injury, and a week later, I'm 8 pounds higher than I was that day.
I don't understand how this keeps happening. I know that we go in streaks, and I know that this is a struggle, and I know everything that we've talked about these past few months, but this boggles my mind.
It seems like I keep falling into every possible trap that there is. Injury = no working out. Eating right for 90% of the day = useless. For example, yesterday after I hit that mind-boggling 292, I set out to eat perfect. I mean, PERFECT. And I did, up until dinner.
We went to the Detroit Fireworks last night, and since we went to my father-in-law's building down there, they had 'free dinner' beforehand. I figured, what the hell, let's go.. and when I get there - it's all hog dogs and hamburgers and full fat chips.
Shit.
So, I decide to go no-bun. Then, justifying that since I'm going no-bun, I decide to get 2 hot dogs. Now, keep in mind, these aren't your ordinary Ballpark variety. These were big freaking hotdogs. So, I sit down with my 2 huge tube steaks and some ketchup and mustard, and go to town. I was pretty much satisfied hunger wise, so I was content. Not the most healthy, but the best possible solution.
But then there was a dessert bar.
Everyone else decided to get ice cream, but I was 'willful' enough to pass it up. So, what do I reward myself with?
Another freaking hotdog.
WHY?
Because if they were having something, I 'deserved' to have something.
I don't understand this mental justification of bad decisions in my life lately when it comes to my diet. I mean, I had a few months back in the day.. like, February/March - where I can pretty much just eat 'what makes sense' - and since I'm working out like Rocky the week before he went face to face with Ivan Drago in Rocky IV - I'm just fine.
I can't keep doing this. As I type this, I'm not even sure how I feel. Am I pissed off? Depressed? Remorseful? Just mentally weak?
I don't get why I keep doing this, but I need to cut this out, and in a hurry. 300's right around the corner staring at me.
12 comments:
you're right, that sucks.
but I think you know why that number came up today. 2 lbs is a lot, but your dinner last night was probably a lot of calories (I know for sure it was a lot of fat).
you need to go back to what was working a month ago, 2 months ago. maybe you and gary should go back to doing the classes at the gym? you used to do those almost everyday and the weight was coming off. you and I can definitely go on more bike rides at home- we haven't done that in a long time. you and gary have been talking forever about meeting with josh, maybe it's time to start that. you said you were going to start counting calories again, but I haven't seen a number in a few days.
you knew how to make the weight come off before- you just need to go back to whatever you were doing.
OK, before Billy plays hard-ass, I'll give it a shot.
You KNOW what you did wrong last night. For the last eight months you've trained yourself to know better. And you do. Last night was simply a bad choice. It was weakness.
But it's nothing to beat yourself up over, as long as you keep that weakness in check. Last night was a tough real-world scenerio - no healthy food. And you didn't do well. But those who don't learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them. Learn. Fix it. Move on.
Have you been counting your calories? If not, that's on you, too.
Come on, man. THis isn't the Rob I know. Snap outta this. Count your calories. Hop on the elliptical. Drink your water.
Focus.
Eye of the tiger, man. Eye of the tiger.
I know exactly what you're going through. After working so hard to lose the weight and then see the scale start to climb up again can really make you beat yourself up.
I found that if I write down everything I eat - even record the calories/fat it gets me back on track. Just a couple of days of this gets my mind thinking more carefully about what I eat.
Once that scale starts going in the downward direction (even a little) I get re-motivated.
Hang in there, you already know you can do it.
Another thought is it takes 3500 calories above your maintenance to add a pound. There is no way 3 hot dogs = 7000 calories.... Maybe the 3rd dog was definetly over kill but nice on skipping the bread,chips, and desert. Could have you done better? yes of course but given the scenario I could have done worse. I understand that the weight gain sucks, but it could be your body holding water to heal your leg or a million other things. It looks like "ekt" above knows what's going on in your life (assuming this is your wife)and has some sound advise (I would take some of it). Get back going and get ready to support someone else in the FAT coalition who falls in the same hole (we all do). Don't let your weight creep back up, say goodbye to Mr. 300 for life.
I reread this again, and it sounds pretty self defeating.
My problem is that I'm getting frustrated on all levels - the eating isn't as good as it should be, the leg is limiting me from really doing what I want to do - and when that adds up to these 8 pounds coming back.. there comes a point where I get so pissed off that I don't know how to vent.
That's where the blog comes in.
Just feels like the harder I push, the farther away the goal gets, and it's hard to verbalize the frustration.
For any of you medical folks out there, Ripx made me wonder something. Will the body act differently when it comes to weight loss when it's dealing with a wound like the one on my leg?
Keep in mind that hamburgers, hotdogs and chips = LOTS of sodium. Lots of sodium = water retention. Part of the weight gain could be water retention. Now, that's not justifying what you did last night. You did make bad decisions, but there's nothing you can do except fix it and move on like Kevin said.
Hang in there, Rob.
I'm going super strict with the calories now - my biggest problem was having things that I didn't have 'calorie counts' for, but then I didn't pursue it either.
Plus, I'm doubling my water intake. I usually drink a half gallon every day, but I've gotten away from that. Today, a full gallon is going to be consumed (I'm about a 1/4 of the way now).
One bonus to come out of this - more bathroom breaks.
I'm with Beck. I think it's the sodium.
I hope it's the sodium, I'm already done with a half gallon of water today. It's been up and down all day at work ;)
Sorry it took me so long to chime in here- busy day today.
Oh Rob, you are our rock. Nobody wants to see you falter, so let's fix this.
Firstly. 8 pounds, eh? Did you eat an extra, I dunno, 28,000 calories by any chance? Didn't think so. So PART of this must be some odd fluctuation.
HOWEVER.
90% of the time isn't good enough.
Hot dogs won't cut it when you aren't working out. Count your calories. Do what you know you need to.
One of the toughest parts of this that I've found is continuing to deny yourself. For a while, it feels good. Then it gets old. Then the shit starts to creep in. It's gradual, but it's there. It hurts us both by putting on pounds and by whetting our appetites for it.
Look at yourself. Look how far you've come. Look how far we've all come.
You know what you need to do. In the grand scheme of things, your leg injury is very minor. What if you'd broken a leg or hurt your back?
Do you feel hungry a lot? Because I do. Say what they will about metabolism slowing and this and that, but it comes down to this: Ya gotta eat less. Yeah, sometimes you're gonna be hungry. Get used to it.
Now, pull yourself together. We need you.
I just want to chime in that eating right 90% of the time is harder than it seems. Meaning, calculating how many meals you eat and therefore how many of them can be off plan in a given timeframe is not just 'I can afford to eat this - it's part of my 10%'. 10% sounds like more than it really is. Leaving that aside, if you really weighed 286, and you eat clean, depending on how your body works, it will come back off. When I eat my 10% on Sundays, I usually gain about 2 pounds, which stay on me until Wednesday, and then the rest of the week, assuming I eat properly (my 90%), it starts to come back off. And then, assuming I have done what I'm supposed to do, by the following Sunday I've lost at least 1 pound. Everybody's different though.
rob, try this....
remember that you are not on a diet, youre trying to change your life.
remember that you are allowed to enjoy food, but know that is not the food that brings you joy!
lastly remember that you are trying to just make better choices. if you would be embarrassed to eat it in public with the whole world watching, then you probably dont need to eat it.
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