Yesterday's Weigh In: 285
Today's Weigh In: 282.0
Yup, 4 pounds gained over a weekend. That'll teach me (again) that a few days off will take a week to re-lose.
Not sure quite what happened to me this weekend - I felt like my entire 'motion' stopped, and it happened on the day that I saw the lowest number on the scale since I switched. It seems like every time that I hit a 'new low', I feel the need to sabotage myself.
I've been thinking about that a lot, and I'm starting to think that it may have something to do with Inner Fat. I am starting to believe that part of this journey that I'm on is something I haven't quite addressed. I've got an addiction to food, and that's been no secret this whole time. It's a matter of fighting the addiction off.
I still feel like I 'owe' myself food sometimes. Good workout? Go get something to eat. Just got done with a big test? Great work, go get something to eat. Make a great sale at work? Go grab a bite.
I've always treated food as a reward system. I don't know if that was ingrained in me back when I was a kid, or if it developed as I was older - hell, it may just be an excuse I'm making right now because of my lack of self control.
I'm much better than I was. I used to not be able to leave the house and drive without hitting a drive through. I've learned to control different aspects of this, and a lot of it is pure fighting it off. Telling myself as I drive "no, you are NOT going to get drive through". Hell, if I'm being honest, the majority of what helps me keep from going through drive through isn't my natural ability to control my eating, but more of the fact that I don't keep cash on me (for this reason), and if Erin saw a bunch of Taco Bell receipts on the credit card.. well, you can imagine what would happen ;)
So yeah - a long way to go on this path. This may be the biggest hurdle I face all the way through. I paid my penalty for this weekend with those 4 pounds, and it'll probably take all week to drop back to the 281 I was a few days ago, but I did it to myself.
Again.
8 comments:
Preaching to the choir, man. It's like we think since we hit a new low, we can afford one bad meal, or one bad day. It's a massive mental issue that you and I both need to figure out. I think this goes beyond willpower.
Like I said yesterday, I think one bad day and 14 good ones is all we can ever afford. It takes me about 4-6 days to recover from a splurge.
This is a major problem for us both.
I was thinking what Kevin said - the low kind of lulls you into complacency - 'i can afford this. You might want to think about incorporating some type of system into your new lifestyle that gives you a bit of flexibility. Maybe part of your 'well, i screwed up breakfast, to hell with the rest of the day' comes from not knowing when you'll have another opportunity to eat something you like. I dunno, everybody's different. I know it works for me. Onward & upward in the journey - learning doesn't really happen when no mistakes are made.
I think we all struggle with this from time to time, I know I do... I find myself rewarding myself with food to. Don't know why its that way but I know if i could just link together a couple weeks with no rewards it would really kick me into gear. I have a million excuses as to why I don't but none are worth even writing. You know you made a mistake and you have suffered the consequences. You also know how hard it is to loose the weight so quite sabotaging yourself. Every time I run or do something physical I think to myself "Why did I let myself slip last time I lost weight" knowing I am essentially just redoing what I have already done. I know its mental for me so I gotta figure out how to up the stakes.....
I think you've really brought a huge issue to the surface for many, many, people.
Often, the "food reward" system is ingrained in us from childhood. Frankly, it's natural in all animals. How do you train a dog? Use food as a reward.
I'm can't tell you how to stop viewing food this way. What I can tell you is that it seems to me that in my case, my reward has been my success. It seems to me that I feel like I'm rewarding myself every day with how I look and feel. I dunno, I think something inside me snapped and I now view bad food as just that; bad. That's MOST of the time. Not to say that I don't have my weak moments and indulgences.
I'm going to do some thinking about this. I think this is a BIG reason why a lot of people fail.
But not you man. You've lost 100 F#$%in' pounds. You know how to do it.
I think that's part of the problem, me losing 100 pounds. It's a constant fight to stay, well.. constant. 100 pounds is great, it's a good number to hang up on the wall and be proud of.
But there's at least 60 more I want to be able to put up on that wall, and I need to stop dicking around and just get it done.
Weight was 282, so at least I re-lost some of that (again), but I need to just slam the foot down on the pedal and DONT let up.
this guy is kinda crude, but I agree with him in a lot of ways. Maybe just not his delivery..
http://www.intense-workout.com/cravings.html
Hahaha that guy is hilarious.
He's partly right. But he's wrong in that he's given up all enjoyment of food, and that kind of blows for him.
I dont know that he's "wrong" if that works for him. It's just not what might work for other people. I sure know I don't want to stop enjoying food.
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