Weigh In: 278.5
I've had a few of you send me emails of encouragement, and I really appreciate it.
I've been doing a ton of soul searching lately - trying to find how out to get Tuck's groove back. I've done everything - I've spent time praying about it (and I'm not much of a prayer guy), I've talked to people, I've tried to back away and look at things from a different way, and I've even gone to a few online Overeaters Annonymous meetings. I only mention that because I need to recognize the fact that I haven't just brushed this off.
Life is just crazy right now - and I'm not just talking about 'being busy'. There's a lot of stress happening now and it's coming from different sides of my life. Some things are a bit overwhelming and I'm having a hard time dealing with them. That's just the way it is, and I need to realize that I'm hiding from issues that I need to face.
This has thrown my life cycle completely out of whack. I'm not eating at regularly scheduled times, I'm not working out NEARLY as much as I should be - and even when I do, they lack the intensity. And I've been snacking a ton lately, which makes no sense because I've never even been that 'snacker' guy. I've never had any weakness for those 'bite here, bite there' things.
All I've been able to do lately is think about when the next meal is - where the next piece of food is that I can pop into my mouth. I don't know why, but I'm relating it to what's going on in life right now.
Honestly, I'm tired of bitching about it, and I'm tired of coming on here and posting about how bad my life is. It's not that bad - I just have some issues, but I think we all do at some point. I feel like I'm letting you guys down by not being the 'motivational leader' that I've been in the past. With blogs slowing down lately, and if I'm being honest, with Billy taking on less of the leader role, I feel like it's up to me to not only carry myself, but put the Coalition on my back and lead by example. Bluntly, I've been failing miserable at all aspects of this.
So - and I know I've said this a hundred times before - I'm giving it another push up the hill. I've come a long way, and in the past perhaps I didn't realize that my 'reasons' were 'excuses'. I know exactly what the issues are, and I need to change it. I think that starts with my piss poor attitude lately. Feeling sorry for myself, feeling helpless - that's not usually my style, but it has been lately.
I had a good breakfast this morning, and I was STARVING today driving into work. The last few weeks, that means I would have gotten to work and scarfed down my lunch, and then ate whatever was laying around all day. I vowed to be different and put myself in a better situation today. I went to Meijers on the way to work - got a cheap salad for like $1.50, I'm going to put a tuna pack into it for a healthy protein lunch, and I brought my own dressing to work - the healthy stuff.
To battle the snacking cravings, I know that I'm not strong enough to fight them off lately. So, I got a bunch (is that what they call it, a "bunch") of broccoli and a bag of baby carrots.
If I'm going to snack uncontrollably, I can't think of a better alternative.
So here we go again. Stop me if you've heard this one before.
Day 1. The counter starts today, my weight loss starts again today. With Billy's re-birthday just passing yesterday, it reminds me that my re-birthday is November 22nd. That's 8 days away.
I won't hit my 100 pounds lost goal that I wanted to hit by then - I'd have to get to 250. It ain't happening. But the best thing I can do for myself is end my first year on a strong note, being proud of my accomplishments of the past year instead of this 'poor me' attitude I've had lately.
Back at it - once again. I told myself that I would never quit trying. I may not win every fight, but the one you bail on is the one you lose.
9 comments:
Hey Rob,
Don't worry about getting to your goals. Tomorrow is another day, but it starts now. I'd like to hold you accountable for your actions and I'd like to see you posting positive thoughts and positively lower numbers. Is it a kick in the ass you need? Do you need a friend? Only you know what you need.
But what I need from you is for you to step up and keep the coalition going no matter what Billy or anyone else is doing. Stay here with me buddy and we'll show what kind of work we can accomplish.
You dig? We're in this together, so pull it together, and let's get this done together. Come on buddy, I know you're good for it so help me out here and let's show some peeps what motivation can do.
err, I meant to say "don't worry about NOT getting to your goals". As in, tomorrow is another day.
I also didnt mean to type buddy so many times, not that you're not my buddy, buddy :)
Hey Rob,
I think the Coalition is healthy and there has been a good amount of activity. Billy is still around too, I have seen a comment from him here and there on peoples blogs. Beck and Kevin are getting back to posting regular. There is a ton of people to look to for motivation in FAT. Most members that are actively participating are kicking some serious a$$.
Just like you have always had my back and other coalition members backs we got yours. I don't know whats causing you all the stress but you need to address it. The Tuck of late has not been you, like you said "your not that guy". This is just another trial or tribulation that you need to pound through like you always do, like I know you will. You have never given up on yourself or anyone else so nothing has changed man. Time to send Tuck of late packing! Face the stress and do your best cause thats all you can do.
Keep your head up man.
Ending on a positive note would probably do a lot for your current state of mind. So, you're in a funk - snap out of it. Remember Rob, it's OK to get down, just don't decide to stay there.
If you saw my post a few days ago, I've been on the same path. Outside factors building one on top of another and just weighing heavily on me. We've all been there, but stop and take a second to look back at this past year and what you've accomplished.
You said you'd have to get to 250 to have lost 100lbs, so that means you've lost what....about 75lbs!!! Think about that for a second. Personally I'd say that's nothing to be disappointed in, just because you didn't reach your goal by the time you thought you would. It'll come, maybe it just takes a little longer than you'd want.
I'll leave you with a little blurb that stuck with me from a trip with my dad a few years ago. We were in Washington D.C. for a Realtors convention and we visited the Holocaust Museum. As you're leaving, there is a small amphitheatre with a continuous movie of survivors stories projected on the wall. We sat down to listen to a few. What stuck with me was a lady who was a young girl in the concentration camps was asked how she was able to continue on after the war. Her answer was "What choice did I have...it was either that or die" and the quote that stuck with me that I think can relate to a lot of aspects of life was,
"Giving up is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
She'd watched her whole family and her best friend be killed, and it would have been so easy for her to give up. I was blown away by the strength of that woman, and the perspective she had.
Sorry, it looks like my 2 cents turned into about a dollar :)
Kyle's last two quotes say it all. I dont know about you Rob but I will surely be keeping those in mind for sure. If she can face that surely we can face whatever we're dealing with.
Rob, you're a weiner. Oops. I meant winner. While it's true that you're a FAT VIP, even FAT royalty, don't shoulder too much of the burden. It will only add to your stress.
Speaking of stress, what are you doing to relieve stress? Of course the best relief is a little slap-and-tickle. Other fun stress-relieving activities are. . . shooting things with a bb gun, jumping on a trampoline, getting drunk and practicing saying the alphabet backwards, raking leaves and jumping in the pile (do chores and have fun!) and of course, rocking out to some heavy metal* in your underwear.
* Not into heavy metal? Gangsta rap? Disco? Polka? Whatever your pleasure, rocking out in your underwear is fun.
I want happy Rob back, no pressure, whenever he chooses to show his face. I've just been missing him.
Sometimes I think you get so down on yourself, don't give yourself enough credit, and it kind of feeds on itself. Maybe you need to find some external form of motivation (pictures, phrases) to keep with you at all times to pull out in moments of discouragement. I have no doubt that you will finish this thing out. Swanky & co. are right - you are not responsible for the group. We are all responsible, and sometimes even the 'leader' needs to be carried. It's cool. Whatever's going on in your life, I hope it lifts soon.
You get to meet me in 7 days...now if that doesnt cheer you up I dont know what will! hehe
Stress is such a hard thing to deal with. But just deal with what you can control. Let the rest of it go. I know thats easier said than done, but you will feel better if you follow that. Keep pulling through Rob!
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