8:00am weigh in: 281.2
Beers at night, playing games with friends until 12:30am, and then the Taco Bell run - where you order food just because you want it - knowing DAMN WELL what's going to happen in the morning.
Been there?
I'm tired of being there. Went there again last night night - so the weight SOARED. No surprise, and it's pretty much what I deserve.
I don't know what's going on - but this morning I feel different. I read a few articles in Men's Health this morning that inspired me a little bit, and went to the gym today and completely kicked my own ass - had a bit of the anger come back that pushed me to the point where my arms are so sore that if we were doing the YMCA dance, I could only do the M and the C.
I had 2 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of toast for breakfast. I didn't even feel like eating that as I was so disgusted with my Taco Bell binge just 7 hours earlier. We went running errands, then to the gym, and I just wrapped up mowing the lawn, and Erin brought me out a PB&J on wheat while I was mowing. Had a bottled water with it.
I'm hungry right now, but I don't want to eat. I don't know if it's a 'punishment' or my body still cringing the Chalupas, Tacos and "Cheese Roll". It's called a freaking CHEESE ROLL, and I had one at 1am? Stupid.
So I feel like I'm at a breaking point. I've said this so many times where I don't know if I believe it or not, but maybe something clicked. I've been going through some stuff online, thinking about joining a health class at the gym, getting more into that mindset. I miss it. I can't just go to the gym with no purpose, work out hard and then eat like shit. It makes no freaking sense.
So, turning point, or all talk? We'll see where the rest of the week takes me.
9 comments:
I would have lost an additional 10 pounds by now if it weren't for alcohol and the poor choices I make when I've drank a bit too much of it. On the flipside, I would probably have punched one of my co-workers by now if it weren't for the relief and relaxation that alcohol gives me after a long week of working with apes! :)
I think it is gut check time for some of us, me included, in the coalition. Things have been getting a bit lax and we all need to work on it and support each other more.
Rob, I wish I had a perfect solution for you and your troubles, but unfortunately I'm in the same boat with you a majority of the time. I tend to do just good enough to see progress or break even, but if I clenched my fists a bit more, I would probably be a lot further ahead in my journey than where I am. All I can say is keep your head up, keep thinking positive, keep a little bit of anger inside of you for motivation, and keep at it.
Beers and TB???? common man... you have already said it so I wont. When you decide you really want it you will stop the insanity. I don't even like TB.... its nasty, all it does is make my gut hurt and give me the you know whats. maybe try the cheat meal approach. The only way it will work though is if its 1 cheat meal not a half a day etc and you cant go totally awol. I don't know man, i think you just need to want it more than you do. Keep up the good fight rob.
I have to agree with Ripx, it just sounds like you need to want it more. These are all minor slip ups, but a lot of minor slip ups over a long time period led to lack of motivation and slipping into the old lifestyle. You really need to ask yourself do you like where you are, are you comfortable with it. If you are comfortable with it then you aren't going to see any progress and eventually give up...it's pretty much that simple.
I hate to be kind of down on you, but it's the truth man. When I started getting comfortable I got in front of a mirror and looked very carefully at myself and asked if this is what I wanted to look like...the anwser was no. So step two was to figure out why I wasn't achieving what I wanted to. So I re-read my own blog and looked to see what worked. I went back to the basics and just started kicking my ass at the gym again and eating clean. It really is amazing at how easy the formula is, you just need to find the will power to practice it. Best of luck to you Rob, I think Beck said it best in her blog "No more promises. only actions".
"you need to reclaim your life, this is way too damn important to be lazy about"....
You said it first, now I'm telling you
I've done well the past few days - I just haven't had time to blog about it.
Stepped on the scale and say 278.4 again. At least it's in the right direction.
I commiserate with you on this one. But I wouldnt be too hard on myself if I were you, because you salvaged it by going to the gym. Even if you loaded yourself with calories, all you have to do is create a deficit after that. Just hold off eating until you feel genuine hunger again. I see you've been vacillating in the 270s for some time now- did you hit a legitimate plateau?
C'mon Rob. You know how to battle through this - you proved you know how the first round of massive weight loss.
Let's see this turning point be the movement that starts an avalanche.
2 plus days without a post.... common rob - accountability??? hows it going?
cmon rob, post. post your food, calories, and excerises!
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