Monday, January 7, 2008
Forcing a Mindset Change
Sunday Weigh In: 278.5
Monday Weigh In: 278.5
I missed the first episode of Biggest Loser: Couples this week, and they only had these 2 minute episode replays, so I tried to youtube it. Instead, I found that video above.
If you're struggling with this right now - having a hard time motivating yourself, watch the entire thing. I see a lot of myself at the beginning of this whole weight loss thing in Kim. The hopelessness she felt, the whole fear aspect of losing weight, and "what would people think"? There's a lot in there that drove me to succeed in the first season of my weight loss goals.
I remember being perfect on my diet, and being 100% in the gym. I remember that feeling of PRIDE - knowing that I dominated my behavior. It was such a good feeling to know that I was losing this weight and reclaiming my life on my OWN terms.
I look at guys like Kevin and I - guys who have been doing this perhaps the longest (at least for the sake of the Coalition's blogs), and then I see guys like Brian and Billy. There's a major difference between the two groups, if I can state the obvious. Brian and Billy (and many others) have taken this challenge by the balls and DID something about it. They're in full swing, and are really becoming shining examples of what is the RIGHT way to do this.
Kevin and I - and I hope I don't offend you, Kev - I'm just trying to relate you and I since we've been mirror images since day one, even to this day - we seem to have lost that. That positive energy that just carried you through - where average wasn't enough.
When I watch this video about Kim, I remember what felt like.
I've settled for "ok" and average. Even today, I ate "ok". I had a normal breakfast, a normal lunch, but I snacked on some chocolate pieces. I don't know why - they were there, and I grabbed a small handful. Some might say that 'a small handful is ok, at least you didn't overdo it". But that wasn't OK in the past. And I was in a mindframe where I knew that.
So, how do I get that mindset back?
I don't know. I feel a little of it returning when I watched that video, so maybe that's what I've got to do. Research more of these things and hear more of these stories. Remind myself WHY - I feel sometimes like I'm doing this blog and 'not giving up on weight loss' because I don't want to let you guys down. But I need to be doing it for the reasons I started it with.
I fall into the trap sometimes of feeling like I've accomplished something already. Like if I just went into maintenance mode right now, I'd be ok with that. But that's totally wrong. When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I'm still ashamed at what I look at. I tell Erin all the time "hey, my biceps and chest are starting to bulk up - just imagine what I would look like without the fat around it".
It's time to get that fire back. This needs to be my #1 priority. I've been all talk and no action lately. Now - to figure out HOW.
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13 comments:
Ok - I soooo know this isn't for everyone, but I've had huge success so far with the jumpstart program I've been doing. I'm just completing my 5th day, and I've experienced very little cravings (although I did have a very vivid dream that I ate chocolate chip cookies last night). Saying no to everything seems to have focused me again. I honestly feel that I'll be able to come out of this eating plan eating good carbs in moderation. We shall see.
I just made myself get back to it over the last week. Eating has been on target, though I still need to make time to get active.
I'm down 8 pounds in the last 7 days.
I just needed to see that I was fatter than my latest "after" pic, and that pissed me off.
It's all will, at least for me. I have to will myself to do it now. I don't want to, and skipping it is easier. But the easy way made me 365 pounds.
Just will it.
And put me back on your sidebar, you hoser!
Yeah, I just added the video. Go back and read it and watch the video. Duh.
Btw...I cried during almost the whole episode of TBL last week...not exactly sure why. I think it was empathy though.
Yeah...I'm pretty much a girl.
I've got no words here, Tuck. You've got to do this for you, and if you're not feeling it, I can't make you. I really I worked a normal schedule, and I could be around you all the time, because I think it might help you. I mean, think about it. When I started my journey (and you were my inspiration) you were six pounds heavier than me. Now you're seventy pounds heavier than me. Uhhh...that's not so good, Tuck. You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and just start moving forward. I know it's not always fun, and it's not always easy, but as the latest entry to my myspace blog will tell you, life is that way sometimes. We can't get there for you, Tuck. It's something you have to find within yourself.
I'm not trying to bitch or complain, I think it's just a matter of identifying it.
In the time that my weight has pretty much stayed steady, I've accomplished quite a bit - I've gained about 70 pounds on my bench, I've gone from running 1 mile max to 4.5 mile runs- there's success in there.
I just have to get over the food thing. It's been an issue my entire life - I have learned over the past year why it's so hard to quit smoking, for example. You can't explain it - you want to quit, yet.. you just can't. It goes beyond frustration.
Sometimes I feel strange posting in these threads because I have never had problems with excessive weight. But I am married to someone who has and I know there was nothing I could say to make her change. She had to decide when to do it and realize she had to do it for herself. I know she felt hopeless at times but the determination has paid off.
Jim hit the nail on the head when he said "you've got to do this for you."
I wish there was something I could say to get you back in that mindset. For me, I don't really know what it is. When I'm going, I'm going full steam. It just feels so good to me to be succeeding and doing it, and it feels so bad to be stuck or gaining, it's like I don't have a choice.
Maybe it's a matter of finding your motivation. Like initially, your motivation was that you were on the brink of killing yourself and you were a giant fatass. Well, now you're so much healthier, and you aren't that big fatass anymore. You're somewhat OK with where you are. I think THAT is the problem.
You need to examine what you want to accomplish and why. For me, I want to see how lean and muscular I'm able to get. I literally want to look (as much as I can) like a Men's Health guy, or like 007 in my visualization picture. It's not enough for me to look "good enough", which is where I am now. And well, hey, I'm a single guy. I have lots of motivation to look that good, if you know what I mean.
So, Tuck, what is your goal? Can you see it? What does it look like? What are your new reasons? Where is your motivation?
I think if you can come up with solid and compelling answers for these questions, it will go a long way into getting you into the mindset you need to be in.
Billy pretty much said what I wanted to say (except I am married). We both have the same mindset - we want to see how good of shape we can get in and both want to have that men's health body...
I agree with Bill and want the same things. Just as much as the woman in the video (it was very powerful I think) has decided she wants to be a normal weight.
That woman, Bill and myself have all decided what we REALLY want to achieve, that is the difference. I'm not going to say its easy from there, but in my opinion that is the first step in being successful.
Figure out what it is you truly want Tuck and you will be good from there. I wish we could help you with that part but I know we can't.
I know how you feel. I know I didnt or dont have as much weight to lose as the rest of you...but I think I had a good month there where I was 100% dedicated. The rest of the time Ive been just ok. I dont know if Ill ever get back to that full throttle. But we can keep trying. And hopefully come out on top again.
Hello Rob Tucker! This is Kim, you know, the girl from the video you hijacked off You Tube and put in your blog!! (first, note I am teasing...I do not mind at all) I have to say though, I am in shock. I had no idea others could put this video on their sites and thus make it even more accesible. My intention in posting the video in the first place was to further motivate myself...and then to hopefully motivate/inspire others. I had no idea the impact this would make...and I am truly humbled that my "little video" or even I myself could actually do what I set out to do...be an inspiration. OK so in response to your blog...
I have been thinking all day about your blog and that whole concept of what I want to do I don't do and what I don't want to do, I do that you seem to be describing. I don't know if you know much about the Bible or anything for that matter (for the record I am not a religious nut out to convert you) but a guy named Paul wrote about this same concept of being torn like this and trying to figure out why he doesn't do the things he knows he ought to do. While reading this passage that Paul wrote and also after reflecting on a training course I took once I remembered this concept of conflicting intentions.
See it's not that you (or I for that matter) aren't committed to our health or weight loss. In fact, I would wager you are very much committed to it (or you wouldn't blog about the struggle for all to see). However, I would be willing to bet that many days and many moments there is probably something in your subconcious that you want more. (a hidden , unknown intention) that directly conflicts with the stated obvious one-lose weight, be healthy.
Here is my real life example (cannot believe I am sharing this...) I have been overweight my whole life to some degree. SInce I was like 5 years old...About 3 years ago, I lost like 60 pounds and this male friend of mine, trying to be funny and encouraging said to me.."Kim, I love your incredibly shrinking A*@!" It was funny, I laughed and somewhere inside me something shifted. I can pin point today that that comment, that moment, is when I seemed to not be able to lose any more weight for quite a while. Here is what I discovered...I began adding weight on at 5 years old after being sexually abused. Somehow I had rationalized in my 5 yr old brain that pretty, cute girls get hurt and I had decided that somethign like that would not happen again. Over the years I forgot about that and as an adult I wondered why I couldn't seem to lose weight. See, I had a hidden conflicting intention. More than I wanted to lose weight and be healthy...I wanted to be safe. So when my male friends would comment on how great I looked after some weight loss...my subconscious flashed "unsafe" "unsafe" and I subsequently "fell off the wagon". And so the cycle would repeat itself.
So, I do not know why I felt compelled to share that particular story...probably because I want to share a real story and it is one of the most obvious ways a conflicting intention can show up...sometimes it is not so obvious and I am in no way insinuating that you have been abused or anything like that. All I am saying is dig deep...what else could you possibly want more than you want to lose weight...comfort, safety, pleasure...Figure out what it is...identify and then choose. I don't always have this beat...if I did I would not be 332 lbs. But I am getting much better at noticing what is really going on in those moments...what agenda does my history present when I am not aware and how does it direct my life?
So I leave you with those thougth ROb TUcker. Hopefully you gleaned something from this long ramble...and just for the record...you inspire me too!! ANyone willing to so honestly share their struggle for so many to see-WINS!! Remember, this struggle is part of the Journey...My most favorite and well remembered vacations are the ones where things didn't go according to the plan...or where I got lost along the way. The difficult things make it worth it! Keep pressing on!
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