Weigh In: 280.5
Ok, not quite sure why the weight went up, but no use getting pissed off about it. I've been in that 'pissed off' stage for WAY too long now. Can't let a day's fluxuation get the best of me.
A lot of you guys were talking about me trying to find "why" I'm doing this. That's all I've been trying to figure out lately, and as shitty as this sounds, I don't have a problem finding the "WHY" in all of this.
I want to lose the gut.
I want to be a healthy adult.
I want to motivate others to really want to do this.
I want to be able to take a shirt off and not scare people in the lake.
I could go on and on. The real debate is why I can't get myself to follow up. Why I can't just make this happen. What is stopping me from being motivated ALL of the time.
I do GREAT in short doses. But it's like I'm flying up this mountain towards my goal, but the car has two wheels off the edge of the cliff, just waiting to fall off.
I remember this feeling of just extreme desire in the past - like this was some major challenge and NOTHING would stop me. Now, it feels like an obligation. I 'have' to do it - so I can post something on the blog, maybe even because I know I should.
I've set goals one day, and felt super motivated. The next day comes, and I just don't do anything. Today I had these great plans to go for a long run. Did I? No. Why? I don't even have a good excuse. I just didn't. It's like I'm fighting this from both sides.
I'm not trying to whine or bitch or complain. I need to dig deep and do this. I'm not being HORRIBLE, but I'm not doing what I should be doing. I need to find a workout that inspires me, a training regimen that I really love, a meal plan that I can stick to - I know how to do it all, and I motivate the hell out of myself every single night. The trick is waking up with the same desire I go to sleep with.
So maybe I am whining or bitching or complaining. But this is my current struggle. Not the "Why".
It's the HOW.
And there's not a single one of you out that can give that to me. I have to trip over it.
11 comments:
i am starting to worry about you. i feel like slowly but surely you are gaining weight back and not caring enough to stop it.
i threw out all your 4x clothes and don't have the money to buy more!
I am kind of where you are Rob. I know why and I know I need to but I'm having trouble getting on a roll. Not sure what to say man... I hate to see you struggling to find the motivation and drive. Go back and read some of your early posts.... re-find the drive my brother from another mother. Its time... its past time.
You will do it. Perhaps you need to start a regimented plan, like TT or Afterburn, and a regimented eating plan like Eating for Life or Precision Nutrition. Perhaps you need to plan your meals and your workouts rather than just doing them. Perhaps you, like me, need to get off our high horse and not do it for the blog but for ourselves.
Or perhaps, you just need to DO it. Quit trying to psychoanalyze it to death. Quit trying to find this motivation from somewhere. Quit worrying about it. Something tells me, that since your weight is creeping (and i've noticed it creeping more and more as you worry more and more), you're sabotaging. It's not the chocolate pieces. It's the extra-small larger portion. It's the half-ass workout in the gym. It's the whole, "I need to please the others, and I'm not succeeding, so what's the point?"
THAT's likely where your problem is. Now. You can figure it out. Quit worrying, and just DOIT, kemosabe!
And yes I realize I'm giving you the bs when I myself am feeling the same way you are. Perhaps I'll take my own advice!
You know, I think it's a funny dynamic. I realize I come off like I'm super psychoanalyzing things, but I really am not. I don't really think about these things until I sit down and have to blog, and then it all just flows out.
I've been feeling crappy all over - I KNOW this weight has been sneaking up on me again like Erin (anonymous) said. I feel it. I feel just huge lately. I'm totally aware of it, which I guess is better than ignoring it.
There's nothing to worry about in terms of me 'giving up' - that's not an option, although I can imagine by reading my blogs sometimes that it may seem that way.
I guess in the effort to blog every day when I really don't have anything to say, perhaps I look too closely just to have some type of content. Does that make sense?
Either way, it's 6:30 and I'm going to be hitting the gym here in about a half hour. Then I'm going to have a good eating day.
:(
I know nothing we say is going to cause that gear change, but Im glad your blogging about it. It helps you feel accountable and does help get these thoughts out.
Maybe we should do a 5K? That race on did on NYE really put a spark back in me. Im planning on doing one superbowl weekend, but your a football fan so I wont hold you to that one. Maybe on later in Feb?
What race is on Super Bowl weekend? As long as it's not DURING the game, I might be interested. You're right, I do have to do SOMETHING.
I'm "in the groove" right now - hit the gym this morning and have a healthy menu planned for the day, now let's see if it lasts.
"I'm not being HORRIBLE, but I'm not doing what I should be doing."
Actually Tuck, you are kind of being horrible. You put on 10 lbs. I'm not sure how even half-assed workouts and some slip-ups here and there equate to 10 lbs.
You know how sometimes there are things you don't really feel like doing but you just have to? Like getting up early or going to the gym or something like that? Well right now for you, weight loss is one of those things. I guess it's time to stop searching for reasons and trying to psyche yourself up. You simply need to make yourself do it. Make yourself eat less. Make yourself work out harder. Be your own drill sergeant.
Maybe getting pissed at yourself is what you need, I don't know. Something's gotta give my man.
what do you mean "let's see if that lasts"?
What happened to deciding you're going to do something and doing it? What happened to thinking positive? Whats with HOPING that its going to last instead of KNOWING and MAKING it happen?
It all starts right now, right here, with you deciding to do this. You saying you're HOPING its going to last, or LETS SEE HOW THINGS PAN OUT is not the answer.
Come on man, push yourself a little like you've done in the past. We all know you can do it.
Rob, you have accomplished so much. It doesn't sound like your 'good in short bursts' is a new thing - how have you pushed through it before? Because obviously you have. Over & over & over again. There is something to be said for the 'just do it' mentality - forget about the whys, and just do what needs to be done. You could figure out what works for you (small goals - short bursts), and lay out a plan of however long it takes, full of small goals and detailed plans on how to accomplish them, and take them one day at a time. I'm not sure what else is going on, but I hope you pull out of it soon. You don't want Erin on your ass! ;)
I want to lose the gut.
WHY?
I want to be a healthy adult.
WHY?
I want to motivate others to really want to do this.
WHY?
I want to be able to take a shirt off and not scare people in the lake
WHY?
I find it helps to have some sort of emotional connection to my goals/motivations. Otherwise, being the die-hard procrastinator I am, I'm like yeah, ok, I want that, but I can do it/get it tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into today real fast. Goals never get achieved. Who can feel motivated by non-achievement?
The race is at 9am - but its a bit of a hike - Novi.
http://www.runsuperbowl.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
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